sidecar sleeping help - bed is very low, can i use couch?

[maprayer]

hey there i have a unique question i haven’t been able to find the answer for in the facebook groups on threads here:

i want to buy a sidecar sleeper - i heard ikea has one? but my bed is pretty low. Also, my partner and i do sleep shifts - sleeping parent in the bed upstairs - baby duty parent in downstairs on the couch - baby in the bassinet next to the couch until she wakes up. Is it possible to put the sidecar sleeper along the side of the couch? We have an ikea KIVIK

https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/kivik-...MIg62tytaLhgMV_RKtBh1vswWuEAQYBiABEgLIGfD_BwE

right now her solo bassinet is next to the couch and we sleep on the sofa until she wakes up, then we feed her etc and attempt to put her back to bed (which doesn’t work, and now she’s up unless you hold her - which is why we want the sidecar).

 

[petercm]

@maprayer No, a firm bed is safer than a couch. Couches have too many crevices where a baby could get stuck. If your bed is too low, you can either cut down the legs of the crib or add risers to the legs of the bed.

Make sure you look up the Safe Sleep Seven if you haven't already. I see from your comment history that you're breastfeeding. It's worth noting that it's safer for the breastfeeding parent to be cosleeping with the baby, especially when the baby is young. Many people find that they get a pretty good night's sleep despite half-waking regularly to breastfeed, so you may not need to do shifts once you start cosleeping.

 

[maprayer]

@petercm oh the last sentence really helped me understand the actual usage of something like this.

because i’m too scared to bed share, i’d use use the sidecar and i figured bent will not be in couch just me.

but at that point yeah it would just be me, so we could just use the sidecar next to bed afterall!

our mattress is extremely firm so i have no worries there.

do you have a link for one i could breastfeed over the edge?

 

[petercm]

@maprayer You can use any crib that converts into a daybed because that means that it's stable even when it's missing one side. The IKEA Sniglar is one example. I personally used a mini crib, the DaVinci Dylan.

There are instructions online with photos showing how to set up the sidecar. Basically, make sure the two surfaces are level, secure the crib to the bed with bungees or zip ties, then add a pool noodle or rolled towels on the far side of the crib mattress to make sure the two mattresses are snug.

When your baby is still really small, you will likely need to sit up in bed to breastfeed. I also recommend keeping diapers and wipes next to the bed so you can change their diaper on the bed until they stop pooping overnight (typically around 2 months, but it took 3 months in my case). Even though this meant fully waking up overnight in the beginning, I still felt pretty rested because I didn't have to physically get out of bed, so my overall caretaking time was minimal and I could go right back to sleep.

Once your baby is a little bigger and your milk supply has regulated so your breasts aren't so engorged, around 3 months for me, you can try side lying breastfeeding, and this can make it so that neither you nor your baby fully wakes up. If you prefer to keep your baby in the sidecar during feeds, you can lie partially on the crib surface when you breastfeed and then scoot back to your bed afterwards.

I will be honest that I started out doing the above but my baby ended up on our mattress pretty quickly because he just wanted to be as close to me as possible, so I was glad I was already following the Safe Sleep Seven. It's good that your mattress is firm. If you're scared about bedsharing, there are a lot of resources in this sub, and you might also want to look up Professor James McKenna's book and website. He has FAQs you might find helpful.