Siblings are not what they’re cracked up to be

[coffeecake67]

@ipurr2 I had to go no contact with one of my sisters - I won't get in to the details, but it took like 2-3 years of therapy to realize this was my only option. What a waste of time. I felt so much guilt about the idea of cutting contact - but after I did - wow. My anxiety is actually gone.

 

[trap]

@ipurr2 My sister and I don't speak. The responsibilities that come with aging parents fall entirely on me. My husband's sister and him are 4 years apart and he also feels like an only child.

 

[entered]

@ipurr2 It all depends on the relationship. No one can predict who is going to get along with who. Personally, my older brother and I have a great relationship. We did as kids, and we do now as adults. My husband and his sister hated each other as kids and hate each other now. It's a crapshoot.

 

[bjoyful256]

@ipurr2 My older brother was vicious and abusive to me my entire childhood, and young adult life. When we would fight as kids he would hurt me, and if I told my parents they would blame me for ‘inciting him’. So if I didn’t want him to hurt me I would have to hide and play by myself. He has always needed extra help financially and such from my parents. I have gone no-contact with him after he went down the quanon crazy rabbit hole. It has been such a blissful experience to not have his poison in my life!

 

[grandma2]

@ipurr2 As an adult/in hindsight, I think my sister had oppositional defiant disorder. It was chaotic and her behaviour really fractured our family.

 

[paul3993]

@ipurr2 My only sibling (also younger) was very similar to yours. She terrorized and stole from our grandparents and is still in and out of jail today. She's dead to me. We never really had a relationship after I left home with the exception of a few brief talks. I'm also no contact with my mom and her other kid is a lot of the reason for that.

 

[hawks256]

@ipurr2 I have 7 siblings. It was fun sometimes when I was younger and wanted to play (I was kid #7), but as we got older there was more and more fighting. Everyone was mean to me. So I would often go play by myself and I was happy in my own little world because there wasn’t any fighting. When my mom had her last baby, I was the one who had to take care of her. When my mom left the family, she told me to take care of my sister because I already knew what to do. I think having to be responsible for a child when I was still a kid definitely factors into my wanting to be OAD. I’m tired y’all.

 

[r2d260]

@ipurr2 My older sister is physically and mentally abusive and I'm currently estranged from. She's one of the reasons I was OAD. She is the worst person I know and causes me a lot of heartache.

 

[stephbolding]

@ipurr2 My guy has an older brother who is a huge AH. No siblings = not having to deal with siblings' BS

 

[katrina2017]

@ipurr2 My little sister was an incredibly mean child with anger issues. She was a toddler and would hit me with things, which I suppose is toddler behavior. But I remember once she wanted to play on something my mom hadn’t set up yet. She started throwing books and plastic chairs at me.

We got older and she was bigger than me. She’d bully me. Hit me, grab my by the throat, pinch me. I had enough one day and tried to fight her and she finally left me alone. But she’d tell my mom all the time she was gonna come home and I’d be dead.

We got closer in our older years but when she met her bf, who was her husband for awhile, then she divorced, but is now back with and has a six month old with, distance grew between us. I tried to be there for her best I could during her pregnancy and not comment on her situation because I knew it was a sensitive subject.

After the baby was born he quit his job, which all I said was silly to not have another lined up since they had a baby on the way. She got mad. Got mad awhile back because I was worried she had planned on moving off with him if he could keep a job, get a place, and pay bills. I asked what would happen if she got there and he quit and also mentioned her having no outside support. She was pissed.

She also doesn’t like it I’m back in contact with our mother. We were nc for several years mostly over past trauma and me not being able to handle it at the time. We’re in a good place now. Like my mom even came and stayed with me after my bilateral salpingectomy to help out. But my sister is so jealous over it. She got in a in argument awhile back with our mom and said I was the favorite child, which is something that stems back to our childhood. I thought we were past all that.

She also lied to our mom that my husband was never home and I was unhappy, which was really offensive. Had me thinking our parents were drinking when her infant was in their care, which wasn’t true. Just a bunch of lies.

Overall, I love my sister and want the best for her but after all that I keep her at arms length because of her resentment for me. I haven’t even told her my husband has been working away from home for the first time ever since she’s already lied about our relationship. I don’t wanna be hurt further so it’s better this way.

 

[robsgotmail]

@ipurr2 I have a sister a little less than 3 years older than me. We had an okay relationship as young kids, but it got worse and worse with time. I felt extremely alone as a kid. It was always clear that I was the "spare" for when my sister couldn't play with her friends, and then she had to settle for me. We had good times, but not enough that I think back and consider giving my only a sibling.

I cannot remember a point in my life where I wasn't aware that my sister was the favorite. She got to do paid activities while it was hardly even acknowledged when I tried to tell my mother that I wanted to attend activities as well, even when they were the same as what my sister did. I even remember doing her homework for her to try to be nice.

I'm sure the favoritism didn't help on our relationship, but as an adult she has grown into the kind of person I do not wish to spend time with. We hardly even speak when we happen to be in the same room at family gatherings, and when she opens her mouth it is always derogatory.

 

[shesadreamer]

@ipurr2 My brother and I fought all the time as kids, we’d call mum when she was at work to “tell on” the other because my dad wasn’t much of a parent. I’d literally get so annoyed by him that I’d throw whatever I was holding at his head when he just walked past. He’s 32 now and I’m 35 and while we’re more civil with each other we don’t hang out together, we never ask favours of each other or ask for support and the last two times I saw him he still said bratty things to each other. My experience with a sibling is a tick in the “pros of being OAD” column. My husband has 3 sisters that he grew up with, he’s always been easy going and got along fine with all of them but again, he’d never seek them out just to spend time with them.

 

[ghahghans]

@ipurr2 I get along with my sister now (we didn’t when we were kids), and she’s great! Even though we’re completely different people, we get a long well. However, my mom is estranged from her only sibling (some family drama I’m not privy to) and my husband’s mom doesn’t talk to her only sibling (he’s an evangelical Trump supporter and brings up politics every time they talk…even though she’s told him on multiple occasions not to). The grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

 

[ronsonfong]

@ipurr2 https://medium.com/practical-growth...ng-abuse-and-why-it-s-so-ignored-d33bf02e7b1f