italyfreak
New member
I’m looking for guidance on how to approach a consistent and upsetting situation at home. I have two daughters, 6.5 and 4.5 years old. For the most part they love each other and play well. They have generally calm demeanors (enjoy coloring and imaginative play) but my oldest (“C”) is always manipulating her little sister (“L”). C always chooses the game they can play, always insists on having the preferred toy or stuffed animal, and almost never accommodates any request L has.
On the other hand, L is very submissive and generally okay with being bossed around. I thought this was fairly normal birth order behavior so let them be.
Lately C has developed an attitude. She is aggressive with L, pushing or grabbing things from her. She makes mean comments to her. And worse, she acts like a teenager with us (rolling her eyes, defying requests for things like “please put your plate away”). I know this sounds benign as I type it, but in comparison to how she behaved before, things are getting out of control.
Yesterday she grabbed a jump rope out of L’s hand with force, started playing with it, and when my husband asked her to give it back (L was crying), she THREW it at her face hard. The ground outside was covered in chalk drawings and she removed her shoes. My husband asked her to put turn back on so she doesn’t track chalk into the house when she goes inside. She looked right at him and said “I don’t want to” and defied him.
This is all unusual behavior for her. She’s testing limits and being bratty - both to us and her sister. I imagine she might be picking up some attitude from school friends (she’s in kindergarten), but I just don’t know how to manage this. We are constantly telling her to behave better. I follow gentle parenting but am firm. I try not to raise my voice but of course it happens if she’s hurt her sister intentionally.
C’s defense mechanism is to simply lie and insisted she never did XYZ that she’s being reprimanded for (even though we saw her do it, or L has come to tell her C hit her, etc). She doesn’t acknowledge or accept responsibility and certainly doesn’t apologize sincerely.
Sorry for the long post. Please help.
On the other hand, L is very submissive and generally okay with being bossed around. I thought this was fairly normal birth order behavior so let them be.
Lately C has developed an attitude. She is aggressive with L, pushing or grabbing things from her. She makes mean comments to her. And worse, she acts like a teenager with us (rolling her eyes, defying requests for things like “please put your plate away”). I know this sounds benign as I type it, but in comparison to how she behaved before, things are getting out of control.
Yesterday she grabbed a jump rope out of L’s hand with force, started playing with it, and when my husband asked her to give it back (L was crying), she THREW it at her face hard. The ground outside was covered in chalk drawings and she removed her shoes. My husband asked her to put turn back on so she doesn’t track chalk into the house when she goes inside. She looked right at him and said “I don’t want to” and defied him.
This is all unusual behavior for her. She’s testing limits and being bratty - both to us and her sister. I imagine she might be picking up some attitude from school friends (she’s in kindergarten), but I just don’t know how to manage this. We are constantly telling her to behave better. I follow gentle parenting but am firm. I try not to raise my voice but of course it happens if she’s hurt her sister intentionally.
C’s defense mechanism is to simply lie and insisted she never did XYZ that she’s being reprimanded for (even though we saw her do it, or L has come to tell her C hit her, etc). She doesn’t acknowledge or accept responsibility and certainly doesn’t apologize sincerely.
Sorry for the long post. Please help.