Should I let my kids walk home by themselves ?

M

mrscott1026

New member
EDIT: Thanks everyone for the insightful advice. I have decided that I don't want my 9 y/o "in charge" of their sibling. So I won't have the younger kid walk home, only the oldest. My partner has gone from leaning towards "no" to undecided. They will continue to think about it and when they have decided, we will go ahead if it's 2 yesses only.

7 y/o and 9 y/o, the school is 500m from the house (that's 0,3 miles), and we live in a safe city. There is a street light to cross but there is a crossing guard.

I'm pretty confident it would be safe but my partner is against it. Most parents in the area pick their kids up on foot up until 3rd grade. So my 9 y/o would be in the norm.

Just not sure how if it would really be reckless or just normal "free range" kid. There are extremists in helicopter and free range parenting and I'd like to get unbiased opinions, as I hopefully am at the center of this spectrum.

I have 2 SAHM neighbors who pick their kids up from school on foot that told me they wouldn't consider it until much later but I find their parenting style a little too helicoptery for my taste.

I work from home so I would be there to welcome the kids for lunch, it's just that if I were to go, I'd use 15 minutes to pick them up and 15 minutes to bring them back and it would only leave us 30 minutes to eat.

EDIT: I phrased my partner's opinion wrong: We are both undecided, him leaning towards no and myself towards yes. We are currently discussing it and having other opinions would help us.
 
@mrscott1026 Things to consider:
  1. Do they both do a good job looking both ways before crossing the street?
  2. Do they get along well enough, consistently, that they would be able to walk home together without getting into a fight?
  3. Have they had lots of conversations with you about tricky people?
  4. Do they want to walk alone together?
 
@gratefullysaved All of this, plus how do THEY feel about walking to school without an adult? Do they both feel confident, or is one of them (or both) scared of the idea?

This is something you can definitely build up to (walking halfway with them, lend them a phone at first, etc.), and even if you decide to allow it, you can always change your mind later.

For what it's worth, a 500m walk with a crossing guard to assist sounds perfectly fine to me.
 
@mrscott1026 I would try it out with them a few times. First, walk together with them and show them how to take any intersection etc. Also go over any plans for potential issues that could arise. Then let them take the lead on the way. Then start hanging back and just observe. Once you’re confident they can handle it, I would let them go alone.

Edited to add: kids don’t hit a magical age threshold where they all of a sudden are ready to walk alone. It’s about preparation to handle the situation and reasonable maturity. If you practice with them and they can show that they can handle it, why not.
 
@jmkemp Also! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. What if you walked together for awhile. And then you started meeting them at the light they have to cross, or within eyesight of the school, or halfway somehow. Saves OP some time and they could build up confidence (kids and parents) until it seems totally safe to walk the whole way.
 
@lienbkhost This is how we are doing it. Currently my kid walks across the double baseball field and then I meet him at the corner. Eventually I’ll just meet him at the second corner, where I can watch him walk but he’s mostly in his own, and then he’ll get the last 200 ft to the house.
 
@jmkemp This is what we did and it worked great!

Mine were SO happy. They felt very grown up. It's seems so simple letting them walk,but it really did make them happy. Boosted their confidence and made them feel like they were competent.
 
@hearhim Yes! Ours too! It gave them a total confidence boost, a feeling of authority and independence, and the fresh air in the morning boosted their energy levels up for the day. They wanted to walk rain and shine.
 
@jmkemp This is the right approach. 7yo is old enough to handle that when properly instructed. It builds kids confidence to do appropriate tasks independently. Before the child abduction scare in the 90's (where child abduction rates never changed, they just started getting more media attention) we've been sheltering kids way past the age where they've capable of doing things independently.
 
@leahfeamw It builds so much confidence. With my kids I found that when they got a new privilege they were desperate to prove that they could handle it. We had a "handle it or I will handle it for you" rule when my kids were little. When we started allowing them new responsibilities (staying home alone, freedom around the neighborhood, etc) I explained that I was allowing it because I trusted them to be responsible. After the first time there was a new sense of confidence in knowing that they had my trust and proving to themselves that they could handle it.

At 9 and 7 my kids were allowed to ride their bikes to the park (about a half mile away) without us. The younger one is more outdoorsy and wanted to stay out later than his big sister, so we allowed him to do that. He had a kid's watch and knew what time he was supposed to be home. We never had any issues.
 
@mrscott1026 Pretty much all the kids walk to and from school from 6-7 yrs age when 1st grade starts here (Finland). Unless it’s a longer trip they’ll get a free bus ticket (3 miles minimum) and can take the public transport. They even ask parents not to drive the kids to school for the environment and physical activity, of course some parents still drive their kids to school or walk them there but the majority gets there by themselves from early on. So it’s doable for sure!
 
@honeykiss Wow - you would practically get arrested if you let a child that age walk alone to school where I live (London UK). Mind you there are quite a lot of addicts in the neighbourhood and they can be worrying.
 
@honeykiss Yeah, I’m also from Finland and I let my daughter walk away from home over 1 mile when she was 5. She carried her phone in case she would need support. It was the one of the most fun moments experienced when she called and told how much she enjoyed walking alone and experiencing new things. What a great way to grow independence.
 
@adriennet I think the biggest threat to the kids’ safety on their way to school or back these days is that some of them stare at their phones while walking: my husband is a bus driver and said he can’t even count the times he has seen a child or a teenager cross the road without raising their eyes even once. So that’s the one thing I try to get my girls to do is to keep their phone in their backpack while walking… or leave it at home.
 
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