Should I leave my wife with a 2-mo old for a week?

[onlyheknows]

@kg1963 Look, all I'm saying is having a conversation shouldn't be so bad. You don't have to be so patronizing

 

[samantha8824]

@skillz This is the way.

 

[sinnermonster]

@skillz This

 

[everly]

@younglite As a woman, it is my advice that you forget this nonsense right now and don't even mention to your wife that you entertained the idea.

 

[kayjeanbaptiste]

@everly As a father, I 100% agree with her. NOT A FUCKING WORD, OP

 

[younglite]

@everly Thank you!

 

[snowlucario]

@younglite I'm seconding this OP. My husband had to leave me for 2 weeks when my baby was 8 wks old for work. We agreed that's what was best for our family and I still cried my heart out every night for 10 nights. He was able to be on the phone and could at least supply emotional support and it still sucked entirely.

Edit: just to explain, I was struggling with milk supply and needed to pump after every feed but my baby wouldn't tolerate me putting her down for more than 15 mins. I couldn't get more than a couple of hours sleep at a time and couldn't eat a single meal uninterrupted. It was so incredibly hard.

If you have to you can do it but I would have resented my husband for it if he had left me like that for fun.

 

[keji]

@younglite Seriously. This isn't mend in a bad way at all. 2 months in, you will not be able and hopefully wanting to. Look at that again in a couple of years.

 

[animator911]

@keji Damn I’d hope within a year it’s possible.

 

[trustingin]

@animator911 At a year in you’re looking at maybe a couple hours away to get a beer with a buddy, not a week-long canoe trip.

If my partner pulled that shit a year in - or if I did - we would not be partners anymore. We still mostly only take time away from the family for short stints for fun (half day here or there) or when work takes us away overnight. This is by agreement, lots of communication, etc. We also have twins so like. They’re a fucking LOT. But yeah. Expect your priorities to shift, and definitely shift your expectations. Trust that if you don’t currently have children yet, you have no idea what it’s really like, and you probably also have no idea what it’s like for your partner who is pregnant and will give birth.

Commit fully to the family for several years. The family unit is the priority now. You’ll get your free time back later. You’ll get to take the beeb(s) on canoe trips with you. It’ll be great. Like, so great. I love taking my kids camping, fishing, hiking. I also love watching them get interested in my wife’s sewing and knitting. I couldn’t imagine what that would be like five years ago,w hen they were barely sitting up on their own. It’s fantastic, huge payoff for the work put in.

But early on? It’s just not feasible.

 

[janehenry]

@trustingin I'd say at a year it's possible, assuming there's family around to help. I've yet to spend a single night away from my kids, but wife went to Edinburgh Fringe for 2 weeks when the 1st was 1 (essentially work, but she isn't required to go, and spends more than she earns while there) then on a 4 day holiday when we had a 4 year old and a 1 year old. Breastfed babies too, she just stocked up the freezer and pumped and dumped when out drinking.

Differnce is my parents were able to come over for most of it. I'd never manage alone. I'd be lying if I said I was perfectly ok with it, both times were huge struggles, but we had a talk, and it was impertant for her mental health, so I dealt with it.

 

[trustingin]

@janehenry The fact y’all talked ahead and agreed is key. Every person and family is different. Three nights for business with twins is still hard, I’d be pissed if my wife wanted to just go for two weeks for fun. And so would she. We have familial help but not a ton, and it’s not super close. LA traffic can make the drive between my in laws and us two hours long or more.

 

[keji]

@animator911 Your priorities will shift. It will disrupt your life in a lot of ways. And that's a good thing. It's the most taxing, exhausting thing, but worth it.

I was also struggling for the first year or so. You can't go out and have "fun". But it'll all come back, just different (and not in a year). As a man it really grounds you in a different way.

 

[jlkx]

@animator911 Think of it this way, you can go on a canoe trip with your friends, or you can be a good husband and father. Choose the one that suits your character.

 

[solomon33]

@younglite I have an 8 month old. My partner works shift work; 7 on 7 off. His first week back to work when our little one was 2 months old. It was absolutely the hardest week of my life considering sleep is off the table as, essentially a single parent during that week. I recommend staying home and rescheduling the trip.

 

[danyyyy101]

@solomon33 And for work, we can all make sacrifices. I would be resentful if my partner were out living it up during the hardest week of my life.

 

[rodi]

@solomon33 Is your husband a hospitalist? My work schedule will be like that too!! Do you think the 7 on 7 off is better than the Monday-Friday 9-5?

 

[solomon33]

@rodi We love it. Even though he's gone for a week, we then have a week straight to make plans, be a family and be able to go in short trips. But it's not for everyone. It definitely will get difficult once our little guy understand dad has to go to work but I'd rather have him be present for a full week than a couple days every weekend.

 

[roman1982]

@younglite A week? No. A one night camping trip close by would be pushing it.

 

[peter19220]

@younglite No, not at 2 months.

But for future wilderness trips, consider getting a Garmin InReach or other GPS to bring with - can send/receive texts so you can be reachable. Will also be great for when you start taking your little one along too.