Screaming

[beautifullife]

My toddler is 2 and a half, he has a little brother (9 months)

Well my toddler has always been pretty explosive. We thought he had colic as a baby but he never truly outgrew it.

He’s so sweet, SO smart like everyone who meets him is like borderline shocked at how many words he knows and how well he communicates which I praise God for bc the amount of people who try and throw the autism diagnosis our way bc of his meltdowns.

His ped has said no, he’s just a highly sensitive individual.

That being said lately his screaming has gone to a new level. You’d think I was crucifying him the way he lets out these blood curdling screaming fits. For a simple “no” or even if we’re playing a game and I need to get up and pee or his dad is being silly and doesn’t do anything but continue the silly play in a way our little boy wants him to he just LOSES it and it’s so triggering to my nervous system. I want to be as far away as possible from him when he acts like that. I try and comfort him and it’s like gasoline to a fire it just fuels it. The only thing that works is a stern correction or making him lay down with his bottle to cool off. If we pick him up to console him it sort of feels like giving in (and sometimes doesn’t even work he keeps screaming) and if it does work he screams the second we put him down to levels that pre kids I would’ve called cps concerned someone was torturing their child over. I just don’t know how to navigate this as it’s happening frequently and has been here pretty much from the start of his life

What gives are we wrecking him? Anyone else go thru this with their children? My 9 month old is the polar opposite: doesn’t hardly cry, happy as can be. Very different temperament.

Any one else go thru this or have any insight?

We have spent all week outside in the sun doing things my toddler wants to do, playing, great one in one time but the second something doesn’t go his way specifically at home, he just loses it. His cup is never full, he’s always demanding more and in a way that is harmful to our relationship. I’ve had to place noise cancelling headphones in just to be with him and keep myself in a regulated enough state to not join the chaos: it’s feeling impossible and I’m trying my best to get him thru this as lovingly as possible. Because I LOVE the crap outta that little boy but my nervous system sometimes hates being around him

 

[needgod09]

@beautifullife following cause i have a 20 month old who is almost exactly like this. he also had colic as an infant but i'm starting to wonder if it's just a personality thing? ugh i feel you tho it's extremely hard, no one has ever tested my patience the way this little one does. regardless i love him with all my heart but i just really wish i could find a solution too!

 

[siskin]

@beautifullife Ugh this is really hard and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was struggling with the meltdowns initially but I ended up buying the “winning the toddler stage” from big little feelings. They have a lot of free info and tips on their website and social media, but I’m not the best at reading and wanted the video step by steps.

We still have meltdowns but I have so many tools to help approach things. We do a lot of communicating (more than I thought we needed and more clear and concise than I was before) and most of the tools that I’ve had to learn have been things that keep me calm or stop me from flip flopping and making things worse, so my issues could be totally different than what you’re experiencing.

It has gotten better with age, but I noticed that he mimics a lot of my own calm down techniques so we’ve both had to work on everything together.

 

[drugsb4hugs]

@beautifullife I have a similar situation with my 2 year old. He doesn’t (always) have full meltdowns but he does that ear piercing scream that really has you nervous that your neighbors are going to think the worst. A couple things we’ve been doing.

First, which was really helped with the tantrum part, my husband taught him to count to 10 to calm down so when he’s waiting for something or we just need a second we will say “let’s count to ten”. He loves counting and this will get him to stop screaming. Now most of the time this work more like a pause then a real solution but that when we go into the next step.

We will say (calmly) “I don’t know what that means can you tell me what you’re feeling? Are you mad? Sad? Etc etc” like your child ours is also very good with words so he can say the feeling and then we validate “oh I’m sorry you are sad, I would be to…” and offer the solution. It’s truly a journey of climbing mountains but this has been a huge help.

Lastly I have adopted the waiting method where when he screams no or stop or what have you and I count to 5 slowly in my head once it’s quite I address his concern.

Good luck, it’s rough!