Really having a hard time 4w2d

[tgrills]

I really am struggling so bad I called out of work today. So I used inito to help time my iui this cycle and I got a bfp on 8dpo. I continued to test with inito which is NOT recommended and god it’s messed me up. My “LH” (presumably HCG) dropped today (12dpo) on it and boy has it sent me into a spiral. I tested again and it’s back up. Fine. My FRER progression looks fine, definitely darker than two days ago and the slightest shade darker today than yesterday maybe or maybe just the same. Idk I have a ton of posts out there right now showing it all.

I have betas scheduled for Thursday, and I just like can’t function I am so afraid of another loss. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’m so stressed I feel like I can’t breathe. Really not sure how to get through this.

 

[anxiousinphx]

@tgrills Pregnancy after loss is so hard. I was a mess weeks 4-5 and then I got much calmer when my symptoms kicked in at 5 and a half weeks. I found not testing and trying to focus on other things the best thing to do. They don’t do betas in the UK so that wasn’t an option for me.

 

[tgrills]

@anxiousinphx It’s so hard right? Yea I just need to stop testing. Completely. Every time in my mind I’m like “okay not testing again” within the same thought I’m like “maybe just once tomorrow to make sure” lol like what kind of crazy even is this. This seems fake. To be this mentally out of control seems fake as f***. Thanks for reaching out. Knowing I’m not the only one helps, even if it makes me sad that anyone else had to feel this too. I appreciate it

 

[wael]

@tgrills I’m not sure what intito is but it sounds like it measures LH not hcg? Am I right? If so - you really can’t use that to check your hcg.

I know how scary it is after loss but I would get bloodwork rather than drive yourself crazy with home tests.

 

[tgrills]

@wael Yes it tests for LH not HCG which is why I’m an idiot for continuing to test with it lol I did this to my self bloodwork is on Thursday thankfully. Thank you for reaching out it means a lot. Really struggling

 

[wael]

@tgrills I say this gently and understanding of how hard it is…but stop testing with that system!! It will tell you nothing about your hcg levels

 

[tgrills]

@wael Lololol you’re very sweet thank you for being gentle . Honestly you are right I need to stop, and I won’t be doing it again. I legit called out of work today to lay on the couch and wallow… not good. Can’t afford to do this again. I don’t know if I’m even going to test again w a FRER because I just can’t take it. Betas are Thursday. Just gonna try to survive until then

 

[silverlightoftheworld]

@tgrills If it measures LH, then you want to see it go down. That's good. LH isn't supposed to stay high at all times, especially not during pregnancy.

 

[tgrills]

@silverlightoftheworld I think the biggest fear there was it was reading LH but was actually measuring HCG. Which again. Is wild to even bother wasting my time and sanity on tbh lol but it could have been a combo and the LH finally dropped. Could have been a million things which is why this isn’t meant for this

 

[silverlightoftheworld]

@tgrills A test that measures LH is never going to accidentally measure HCG. That's not how tests work.

I work in a lab. To put it simply, the test strip will have LH antibodies on it. If your sample has LH, it will bind to the antibodies and that's how it makes a positive line. HCG or any other hormone will not bind to the LH antibodies to make a line.

 

[normanngjkt]

@silverlightoftheworld Wait, that’s not true. LH tests frequently do pick up HCG. They are very molecularly similar and home tests (including inito) are not sensitive enough to tell the difference.