Questions about birth certificate. (Also sorry about my username 🥴)

[kiddoleknocker]

@yearning4yeshua That’s honestly what is the most hurtful to me. Like he’s been alive for THREE years. Where was all this before? And it’s even hard to explain anything to him because he just keeps telling me I’m jealous. Like yeah I’m jealous that my kid doesn’t have the best of everything because you can’t provide. It’s a mess. Thank you for your advice though.

 

[yearning4yeshua]

@kiddoleknocker Good luck. And great username lol, that’s some r/rimjobsteve stuff if I’ve seen it

 

[origamimaster81]

@kiddoleknocker You file first. Also he better have receipts as proof he's been helping you. I believe you should be entitled to back child support if you choose to go after him for that as well. The court may decide to do that anyway.

 

[katrina2017]

@origamimaster81 That is not how child support works, first off she would have to establish paternity since he isn't on the birth certificate and because he isn't and paternity hasn't been established there is 0% chance that she would get child support backdated.

 

[katrina2017]

Actually in my state (OH) I applied for child support 6 months in. He wasn’t on the BC and we had to establish paternity (although I knew it was him). They backdated support. So I had the court ordered amount plus arrearages, from the get go.

 

[katrina2017]

I bet they only backdated it to the date of your first filing for child support not to the birth.

 

[origamimaster81]

@katrina2017 Ah sorry I misread where he isn't on the certificate. He has no obligation to pay child support then or visitation for that matter. He would have to establish paternity first and then she should be eligible.

 

[dmmahan22]

@kiddoleknocker As others have said, the first to file usually has the upper hand.

Also keep in mind that courts usually don’t split week on/week off anymore. They’ll have one parent have the child(ren) Monday/Tuesday, the other Wednesday/Thursday, and then the first Friday/Saturday/Sunday then it goes back the reverse to where the second parent has Monday/Tuesday, the first has Wednesday/Thursday, and the second has Friday/Saturday/Sunday. IMO this is too many transitions but the argument is that this is good for the child(ren) because it means less time away from either parent in a row.

 

[skycoaster5541]

@dmmahan22 That’s bull imo a consistent Schedule is more important then anything else

 

[skycoaster5541]

@dmmahan22 Their reason for the alternating schedule my Daughter would go nuts with that never knowing who she’s going to be with

 

[dmmahan22]

@skycoaster5541 Yes. I agree. I have a few single parent friend who have split from their baby daddies and they’ve had to have this schedule (all across the country, too, I guess it’s the new “norm”). They’ve had to make up calendars for their kids to take everywhere with them so they know whose house they’re going to tonight. I would hate that.

Just another reason to be glad my baby daddy was never involved from the beginning (not on the birth certificate or anything) so I never had to go through that custody/schedule nightmare.

I feel so bad for the parents and kids having to work with that schedule.

 

[skycoaster5541]

@dmmahan22 thats horrible... i wish my daughters mother wasn't one the birth certificate it would make our lives much easier. i raised my daughter from 5 months to 2 1/2 while she was out doing God knows what. it wasn't until her ex bf's mother got involved that she had an interest in being a mother. now we have 50/50 week on week off. shes already given me enough ammo to get full custody though. we finalized in December...

 

[dmmahan22]

@skycoaster5541 Oh no! That’s awful! Good luck to you in December though!!!

 

[skycoaster5541]

@dmmahan22 it was finalized back in December 2019 but when everything opens ill take her back and get my daughter back full time

 

[dmmahan22]

@skycoaster5541 Sounds like the best plan for both of you and something that much needed.

 

[skycoaster5541]

@kiddoleknocker Somthing to think about is hes going to have to take a paternity test to get any sort of rights until then even if you file nothing Will happen Even if you file first

 

[kiddoleknocker]

@skycoaster5541 So should I file a paternity suit instead?

 

[skycoaster5541]

@kiddoleknocker It’s honestly your choice. That he would actually have a paternity test done on his own?

 

[kiddoleknocker]

@skycoaster5541 I doubt he would. I don’t think he has the money to pay for anything really. I’m so confused right now. And I have a lot of information coming at me in several ways. It’s overwhelming and I’m just so nervous.

 

[skycoaster5541]

@kiddoleknocker i know the feeling. i felt that way when my ex was trying to get her rights back. until hes on the certificate he has no grounds to file or get anything. but that also means you legally cant get anything from him either. so until he takes the test and is put on the certificate he has no legal rights to your son. you honestly don't even have to give him visitation because according to the government hes not even the father. i'm not a lawyer though and this shouldn't be taken as legal advice. i'm only speaking from hearing what my brother in-law has gone through with one of his children. if you need legal advice i would look into legal shield. its a pre paid legal service. you can call them and get advice plus discounts on legal services such as 20% off fees for them coming with you to court if it comes to that. i don't work for them just used them in my custody case.