Preschool options with new baby on the way

[lynq]

Hi everyone - Looking for advice. I’m a stay home mom to daughter that just turned three, with a new baby on the way in a few months. Right now three year old is in a program we love two mornings a week (8:30-12:00). Next year it would be three mornings a week. It’s pretty inexpensive for our area. The only problem is we have to drive 15 mins there and back (and we’re in the city, so sometimes finding parking is an issue). I have the option to switch her three days a week to a program in my neighborhood I could walk to next year, but it’s twice as expensive (1k per month - we can afford but not ideal) and a longer day. (8:30-3:30). It’s a bigger program, more like a daycare geared for working parents. I’m not sure she needs this much “school” at this point but maybe with new baby here we will all appreciate it? Right now I also have my mom watch her once a week so I do get a “free day” blessedly once a week. I think that will probably continue next year.

Which program would you choose? I’m concerned about second baby nap schedule with the driving, as well as maintaining time for myself, but we love the first program and already know it’s a good fit and it’s half the cost. Would appreciate hearing from ppl with two kids juggling drop off and nap schedules and what you’d do in terms of drop off in car v walking. Thanks!!!

 

[mananon]

@lynq I would stay. Sometimes I time older kiddos departure time with baby's naps in mind. So maybe we get there early so that he can nap at home, etc. It's sucked a few times but he transfers well if I time it out right.

 

[joaa]

@mananon Yup this is my advice too. My oldest is in a program that's 9-12 and it's a 15 minute drive. The nap timing for the infant is perfect. Sometimes it's hard to get them both out the door in the morning but it's been great overall

 

[ghex]

@lynq I’d pick the closer school. The less driving the better in my opinion! There’s nothing worse than a baby messing up nap time by taking a quick car nap I think 3 days a week 8:30-3:30 is not too much for a 3-4 year old.

 

[myles0]

@lynq i have a 5 month old, and i just started my 2.5yo in a daycare that's 8:30-4:30 5 days per week. we chose the 5 day option bc it was not much more expensive than the 3 day, and there is no minimum attendance requirement, so i can bring her anytime, pick her up whenever and skip as many days as i want to. we just started this week but so far it's looking like i'll just be sending her all day most days bc she seems to love it and be thriving with more structure and stimulation from being around other kids.

i suspect the "right answer" probably depends a lot on your child's personality. mine is a social butterfly and i could tell she was starting to get very bored at home, especially since we have been able to do so much less stuff bc of the baby needing my attention. on her first day she ran right into the play area without looking back, and when i came to pick her up at 4:30 she was happy to me but didn't want to leave and got pretty mad when i made her leave. lol, transitions are hard.

personally i wouldn't worry too much about the baby's nap schedule and stuff with driving to and from daycare. i think either scenario would be fine. at 5 months in my baby still isn't on a consistent schedule (i'm working on it but that's not my strong point), and she will often fall asleep in the car in less than 2 minutes, like today she fell asleep on the way home from daycare dropoff even though we live less than half a mile away. so realistically either option could screw with baby's schedule but it's not that big of a deal in my opinion (at least for the better part of the first year until baby gets more consistent).

i'm sure opinions on all these topics can vary wildly from parent to parent! personally i'd choose the more expensive, closer option if you can swing it especially if you'd have the flexibility to not send your daughter every day if you don't feel like it. but i suspect that with a new baby you'll be happy to get your toddler out of the house into a safe and enriching environment for more days!

 

[katrina2017]

@lynq If you can afford it, definitely do the longer school

 

[talisra]

@lynq If your husband can do drop off , I’d go with the three mornings a week option. But if you’re on the hook for all drop offs , I’d absolutely switch to the closer one. Your baby will be in the car for at least an hour a day with the current school and it will suck. And that doesn’t include any other shuttling around you’ll have to do .

My daughters school is a 2 minute drive and it’s awesome . It is more expensive than the other schools but I cannot tell you how much more convenient it is. We had her in a summer camp when my youngest was a baby that was about 15 minutes away and it was not at all worth all the hassle of having the baby be in the car that much .

I think three full days will give you a nice break at well, especially once baby gets down to one nap. I’d 100% do three full days in walking distance

 

[lynq]

@talisra Thanks! That’s what I was leaning towards….

 

[talisra]

@lynq Also next year three year old will be four right ? She will love having a full day of fun and friends vs being nap trapped all afternoon with the baby. My kids are 1 and 4.5 right now and my daughter goes 5 mornings a week. I’d love for her to go like 5 mornings with three afternoons cause we’re just trapped in the house while my son naps .

 

[marisasa]

@lynq Is there any errands you’d run by the 3 day a week school? I’ve chosen preschools that were a bit farther away but were close to pediatrician/stores/gym etc so instead of going home while my kiddo is in preschool I kill the 4 hours by running errands and going to appointments and exercising. I also am in the camp to not plan my life around baby naps. Maybe it’s because I have a lot of kids, but as soon as I commit to something because it “works with nap time” the baby drops a nap or moves the nap schedule so it doesn’t ever work perfectly anyways. That doesn’t answer your question, but just some other things to consider.

 

[lynq]

@marisasa Not really. I can’t imagine I’d want to spend the whole three hours doing stuff out of the house. When the older one is in school that’s usually my time to get cleaning/cooking stuff done around our house or work on my personal hobbies if I’m caught up on house stuff. But I agree about not planning life around naps, it’s a fools errand!

 

[taznq15]

@lynq This is kind of tricky. It really depends on whether you are going to be in charge of both or can get help with drop off/pick ups. We do nursery that is only a few hours and 5 days. Is it really just the two? I would lean towards the closer one so you can get baby nap time right. Fifteen mins is actually a long time in a world where a baby car snooze will derail your day. Also trouble finding parking? Yeah, no. Juggling a baby and a little kid around cars is no joke. If you do stay, I strongly suggest investing in a doona or a minu with adapters. I suppose another idea with staying would be to just stay put and find other sahps to kill the time with (maybe do stroller walks). That could also provide a nice social element to your life.

 

[lynq]

@taznq15 Yea, I would have to do all drop offs and pick ups as my husband leaves for work early. So it would be an hour in the car each day the older one has school. Versus like a five minute walk one way for the close school.

 

[doralyn]

@lynq We had a very similar decision except it was longer days and a smidge cheaper. We really thought we’d pick the farther option until we actually drove there haha. it’s so nice when you are rushing to only be 5 min away. The longer days are a bonus too. We have a neighbor that goes to the farther one (also has a grandparent that lives close by) but they’ve made it work. I don’t think there is a wrong answer but I’d pick closer/longer days.

 

[doralyn]

Have you taken her there on a tour to see how she does? Having a new sibling and transitioning to a new daycare might be a lot for some kids.

 

[naly]

@lynq Last year we put our 2.5 year old in a 4 day program that is 9-12:30 a couple of months before baby came. He is now in the 3yo program and that’s 5 days a week. The timing has been pretty good for naps so far at 9:30 and 2 but she is starting to want to drop to one nap and keeping her awake until we get home at 12:45 is difficult but we make it work.

 

[lynq]

@naly That sounds perfect. Consistent but a short day. I wish there was a program near me that was more days, but less hours per day, and I could walk.

 

[caoc24843]

@lynq I’d definitely do the closer daycare, the full days will be nice so you get some bonding time with the new baby. An hour is a lot of car time if your babe hates the car like my second child does!