Post-Pregnancy question.... What did you do after your wife's c-section? [x-post babybumps]

[lynetta_baker]

My wife went into early labor during the Super Bowl, and after 3 days terrible back labor at home, 16 hours more at the Hospital (got there 2am Wednesday), 2 hours pushing, and then a c-section (6:46pm 8lbs 4ounces), little Benjamin King was born.

The whole ordeal was thoroughly exhausting for my wife.

We ended up staying at the Hospital until Sunday afternoon.

Now that we are home, my wife is still very out of it. She needs to be on some pretty strong pain medication to be able to just move around, and after having a dozen or more bags of fluids pumped into her, she is still ballooned up to the point she can barely make it up and down the stairs (with assistance) and still can't get out of bed or go to the bathroom on her own.

I have the luxury to be someone who works from home, but I have not slept at all due to the care my wife needs more than what the baby needs..... But I am almost non-functional right now.

Basically, my question is for those who went through similar situations...... What did you do for your wife?

How long did you stay home with you before going back to work?

How long was it before she could care for the baby without needing care herself?
All input and stories are greatly appreciated.

 

[endangeredhosanna]

@lynetta_baker You might get good responses from Moms in /r/beyondthebump as well.

I've had 2 c-sections. Here are things that helped me:

• Help her set up a nursing/feeding station in a comfy chair or couch. Somewhere where she can sit and feed or nurse with a table for her water and the TV remote or laptop. If she used a pregnancy pillow I recommend using that under her belly to support her stomach when he shifts position or sneezes/coughs.
• Remind her to take her pain medication. It's important to stay on top of the pain and take it regularly as she needs it. It's going to be a week or so on the meds and she will be sore still afterwards.
• If possible, let her get extra sleep. If she's breastfeeding this can be more difficult but try to take the baby for a few hours and let her rest.
• The first week or two are the hardest. Encourage her to walk as she can and keep moving. It will help. But don't let her do TOO much.
• Realize that you're both under a lot of stress and going through a huge change. Let the chores around the house go. Focus on baby and on mom. Get takeout, frozen dinners, etc. as needed. Don't go over board and get some sleep yourself. Take help from anyone that asks, and assign them specific things to do that will help you guys out.
• My husband did 2 weeks off with the first child and 4 weeks with the second. The 4 weeks was easier for me in many ways, but you have to work with what you've got.

Also try /r/CsectionCentral if you want more advice from other c-sectioned moms.

 

[x]

@lynetta_baker we pretty much had the same situation as you had. What I did was cast aside all non-essentials. House was a little dirty and we basically lived in one room(she could only sit/sleep comfortably in the recliner.). No in and out of bed, or up and down stairs.

Meals weren't the best, we called in favors from family members and had them bring stuff over or had quick to make stuff.

Most importantly, when the baby was asleep and the wife was comfortable i could look around and list of 100 things that needed done. I forgot them all and went to sleep. Baby is asleep, you're asleep. Making sure you're able to care for the baby and wife when they're asleep is #1 priority.

The life you had before where everything was in order 99% of the time is gone, let it go. Embrace the hectic life of having a baby.

 

[louisb]

@lynetta_baker I got 3 weeks paternity leave. No extra time cause of C section, although my wife did get 2 more weeks maternity leave. The first couple weeks I did just about everything for her and the baby short of breastfeeding. She wasn't supposed to be walking up stairs but she came out of the hospital able to go to the bathroom on her own already. Iirc (it was mostly a blur of sleep deprived delirium) by the 3rd week she was up and around. After that just try to take turns on night shifts and get as much sleep as you can. Just hang in there... the first few months are the worst but it does get better.

 

[dresses12]

@lynetta_baker First of all, congratulations!

Take off as much time as you can right at first. She does need to recover, and recovery from C-section is definitely harder. I stayed home (without working) over a week with my wife after hers and then ended work early for as long as I could. It sounds like your wife had an even harder time. She will still most likely recover most of the way within a few weeks.

Sleep is difficult to find even after the smoothest of births. Best advice I can give is to find a way to let the baby sleep on you. If you have to be up and about a sling or wrap or something can let you comfortably carry the sleeping baby and still use your hands. If your baby goes to sleep on his own in a crib or something that is even easier, but most require some soothing.

If your wife (as mine) has some depression and/or anger about her c-section, she might try finding a local chapter of ICAN.

 

[laula777]

@lynetta_baker Very similar situation. 2 days of labor and finally a c-section. A few days in the hospital and back home.

I spent every hour I could awake with the baby and slept when I could. I took 2 weeks off of work. We had friends cook meals 3 or 4 nights a week and only did laundry when we really needed it.

Just be there for both of them. You had the easy job initially and during the whole process (though it felt hard, believe me compared to what your wife went through and will go through, it's nothing), so put the extra effort and get your wife rested up.

Oh and don't forget to smile and enjoy your baby boy. Most importantly.

It's a big change, lots of us have gone through it and survived, ask for help, and dig deep!

 

[laula777]

Oh and the sucky part about my situation was that my baby was born on Jan. 7th and I used up 2 weeks of 2012 vacation in January. But it's not like we were planning on going anywhere with a < 1 year old anyway

 

[glenda27]

@lynetta_baker My son had to spend 9 days in the NICU post C section. 100% of the time my wife was focused on him and ignored the pain like a champ. She did bring up to the doctors that she had some problems with the incision, but it was all taken care of. I had 2 weeks off, but my wife was in labor for a few days. I think I took one extra day, then after that I was up all night with him. She seemed to heal pretty well IMO. Then again from labor through the first month was a blur.

Everyone heals differently though, so I dont think any of us can say when. Hang in there, before you know it the kid will be a year and you will wonder wtf happened to that 1st year. The first few months are hard on your sleep schedule, grin and bear it. Enlist a nanny to help if you have too.

 

[alb]

@lynetta_baker I took 2 weeks to help with the baby...

 

[daniel27]

@lynetta_baker Our kids both stayed in the hospital for 4-5 days due to billiruben issues, and they nurses made sure my wife could walk around and stuff before letting her go home. After the first child, my mother in law helped out quite a bit for the first week. Do you guys have any relatives helping you out?

I also mostly worked from home for the first kid and was laid off the first 11 months with the 2nd kid.

 

[katrina2017]

@lynetta_baker Mine walked out of the hospital under her own power on day 5. She didn't feel awesome, but she didn't need my help for anything. Sorry to hear about your struggle. It gets better!

 

[mountaintop]

@lynetta_baker I'll chime in, my wife didn't have a c-section, but she may as well have, because of birth complications, what we suspect was the placenta attached right next to the uteren artery, while my wife was being induced, she blacked out, baby's heartbeat went out... rolled in for an emergency c-section, but she and the baby came back up enough for normal delivery (except he was dead quiet after he came out, and I was scared shitless... he came out fine). Post-birth, she wouldn't stop bleeding, so they took her back to the OR ... turns out she was bleeding out bad, and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. So I've got a baby in the ER on a respirator, and a wife in the ER getting sliced up .... yeah, that was a very fun day.

After all this, my wife ended up staying in the hospital for 10 days. my kid recovered quick and he and I were able to go home after 5 days. So, 5 days at home with me and the new kid, me a brand new dad, FREAKING out as being solo with this little squishy ball of warbles...

My wife had to stay in because with all this, her kidneys shut down, and she was put on dialysis for a week, until her kidneys (thankfully) recovered and started working on their own again.

When she finally did come home, she was in bed or on the couch for 2 weeks solid (i'd taken PTO to stay at home for at least the first week, burned my sick days for the next week), and helped to take care of her. After that time was up (and I was getting a promotion/transfer to a new team at work, and HAD to go back or miss it), she was able to do enough to get up and feed him, change him (our bedrooms are all upstairs and right next to each other, so it wasn't that much of a hobble), and I was up taking care of him at his 10p/1a/4a cycles for a couple more weeks after that.

This is more of 'worst case scenario' that you could have, with both mommy and son coming home alive and (more in her case) recovering eventually.

My advice is what I did: Do as much as you can while you're down at home with her and the baby; let her rest/recoup so that when you do go back, she has more energy/strength to take over the daytime work, and step in/up when you get home. Things will smooth out and she'll recover and things will assume 'normal' baby-raising.

Best of luck, but it will work out!

 

[katrina2017]

@lynetta_baker You bust your ass, don't sleep, keep your mouth shut, and pray for it to end. Inevitably you will be a dickhead. This is my experience anyway. It takes two to three weeks.

 

[christophern]

@lynetta_baker I have a quick question for you all who had wives with C-Sections. Just out of curiosity, what were the reasons you chose C-sections? Dr suggested, trouble with birth, given pitosin and baby wasn't coming out fast enough? Thanks!

 

[victorjiem]

@lynetta_baker Just adding something that helped my wife a lot after her csection. Go up and down the stairs backwards. She needs to be careful but it's easier on those muscles. My wife must have been tough because she was up and about quickly after being home. I would say she seemed about 80% 7 days post surgery. But after that came the baby blues which is a different story all together... Hang in there. Embrace the suck that is the first few weeks of a newborn.

 

[grif264]

@lynetta_baker I took off a week, her mom stayed with her one week, and then I took off another week. I used vacation time for it.

I also got up every time with her and did things like diaper changing and putting the baby back to bed. We did however share rocking the baby, since the bassinet was on her side of the bed. Pocket Frogs was my sanity savior.

 

[juulia]

@lynetta_baker That's what friends are for...