1stjohn0666
New member
Relevant background info: I work full time as a consultant, which is flexible but also demanding. My husband is a resident in a surgical specialty. I work ~9 hours a day (8:30a to 5p, then light work in the evenings after LO is down), and my husband works ~12 hours a day (6a to 6p). We have a nanny to care for LO during my “official” work hours. Typically in the evenings, my husband takes care of baby while I cook and clean up.
When my husband comes home late — like later than 6p or if he says he thinks he’ll be home early but comes home 6p or later — I find myself irrationally angry. He has asked me for some personal time to play a game w his friends on a weekday evening and I find myself irrationally annoyed. It’s not his fault when he has to work late and I think people need and deserve personal time. But I feel like I’m already stretched thin — I solo parent from 5a (when LO wakes up) to 8:30a and 5p to whenever he gets home, and I do all weekday night wakes, on top of a demanding job and trying to run a household (though we do and are trying to outsource more household maintenance stuff). So every additional hour feels like trying to pour from an empty cup.
Is the solution to hire even more help? The nanny already works 8.5 hours per day, so not sure I can ask her to work more. Also it seems weird to hire someone to help with LO when I’m not working, because it should be me?
I recognize and feel grateful I am able to spend time with LO (who is mostly a joy!)… I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone so much.
When my husband comes home late — like later than 6p or if he says he thinks he’ll be home early but comes home 6p or later — I find myself irrationally angry. He has asked me for some personal time to play a game w his friends on a weekday evening and I find myself irrationally annoyed. It’s not his fault when he has to work late and I think people need and deserve personal time. But I feel like I’m already stretched thin — I solo parent from 5a (when LO wakes up) to 8:30a and 5p to whenever he gets home, and I do all weekday night wakes, on top of a demanding job and trying to run a household (though we do and are trying to outsource more household maintenance stuff). So every additional hour feels like trying to pour from an empty cup.
Is the solution to hire even more help? The nanny already works 8.5 hours per day, so not sure I can ask her to work more. Also it seems weird to hire someone to help with LO when I’m not working, because it should be me?
I recognize and feel grateful I am able to spend time with LO (who is mostly a joy!)… I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone so much.