so my parents are mad i’m moving out n they think i kept it a secret from them when i didn’t even know i was gonna get approved(another person applied too) and just got approved today and get my keys tomorrow and it’s just like why won’t they be happy for me? or be happy i’m confident enough to live on my own and experience life for once. im 22.
@activate I’m sure I’ll be happy for my kids when they are ready to move out. But, I am expecting that they’ll let me know when they start thinking about it and looking for places. I could see being hurt for two reasons:
1) The fact you picked a place without telling them could indicate you don’t want their advice. I want my kids to make their own choices about where to live, but I’d like the opportunity to suggest things to consider.
2) If your parents thought they were helping by giving you a free or cheap place to live, moving out could be taken to mean you’d rather spend more money than be near them. Maybe you’re actually moving to be closer to a job or something else. But, making plans to move without saying anything is something people do to get out of bad situations.
Parents expect to be involved in their kids’ big life decisions, and moving out on one’s own for the first time is pretty big. As an adult you can choose to make such a decision totally on your own. But, not asking the more experienced adults in your life for input suggests that there’s a problem with your relationship. You just told them that you don’t trust them. That’s probably what your parents are really reacting to. If the relationship really is bad, you probably did the right thing. But, if you just didn’t consider how they might feel, an apology could be in order.
1) The fact you picked a place without telling them could indicate you don’t want their advice. I want my kids to make their own choices about where to live, but I’d like the opportunity to suggest things to consider.
2) If your parents thought they were helping by giving you a free or cheap place to live, moving out could be taken to mean you’d rather spend more money than be near them. Maybe you’re actually moving to be closer to a job or something else. But, making plans to move without saying anything is something people do to get out of bad situations.
Parents expect to be involved in their kids’ big life decisions, and moving out on one’s own for the first time is pretty big. As an adult you can choose to make such a decision totally on your own. But, not asking the more experienced adults in your life for input suggests that there’s a problem with your relationship. You just told them that you don’t trust them. That’s probably what your parents are really reacting to. If the relationship really is bad, you probably did the right thing. But, if you just didn’t consider how they might feel, an apology could be in order.
@chingyb11 i get that it’s just hard cause they get mad no matter what if i even brought it up to them beforehand it still would’ve been a big fight, i really did consider how they’d feel but they try to manipulate me and basically say i’m dumb without saying it and it’s been like this for years. they treat me different then my siblings mostly because i didn’t graduate but i didn’t because i was dealing with health issues and they even said it’s different then my brothers cause i’m a girl
@activate If they tend get mad no matter what and you want to avoid their attempts to manipulate you, of course you're going to wait until the last minute to say anything to them. It's sad that that's where your relationship with your parents is. But, it's hard to say you're wrong for wanting to get some distance with as little conflict as possible. I have little patience for people who believe that they should have double standards for others based on gender, so your parents aren't winning many points in my book.
But, I do hope you have other people in your life that you can look to for support and advice. I think it's great that you are able to move out on your own, and it's probably good to be getting away from people who seem to want to make you feel dumb. But, it sounds like you may still have a rough path ahead. I wish you the best with that.
But, I do hope you have other people in your life that you can look to for support and advice. I think it's great that you are able to move out on your own, and it's probably good to be getting away from people who seem to want to make you feel dumb. But, it sounds like you may still have a rough path ahead. I wish you the best with that.
@chingyb11 right and i love my parents i just wish they’d be happy cause it’d happen eventually i feel they should be proud that i’m able to do this on my own im just not a person that asks for help yknow. but yea the whole gender thing i find so ridiculous they get mad at so much that i do over me being smaller size and a girl
like well how am i gonna experience life if i’m always scared to get out there because of that??
like well how am i gonna experience life if i’m always scared to get out there because of that??@chingyb11 but thank you!! super excited to begin my journey
%E5%8D%80%E9%A6%AC%E8%8E%89
New member
@%E5%8D%80%E9%A6%AC%E8%8E%89 i wish that was there response haha, but i definitely will i was thinking tomorrow but probably will take time but thank you super excited!!