One bedroom apartment with a 3 y.o?

[debbiedee]

I’m currently in the middle of a divorce (with seemingly no end in sight) and I’m beginning to weigh my living situation options. I live in a HCOL area and I make a good salary, but I will be paying both alimony and child support.

Is it a terrible idea to get a one bedroom apartment with my 3.5 yo? We’d share a bed (which we kind of already do now). I’d like to save as much money as possible with the hopes of buying a house in 2-4 years post-divorce.

I’ll have 50/50 custody with my ex-husband and on a 2-2-5-5 schedule.

Just looking for perspectives to help me figure this out.

 

[katrina2017]

@debbiedee If you're going through a divorce and there are lawyers and potentially judges involved, I wouldn't risk having a situation where the only option is bed sharing. I think a one bedroom could be ok so long as you show that your child has a space of their own to sleep. If that means you're on the couch when child is there, then fine. Anything that gives the appearance of improper behavior or lack of ability to properly care for your child could cause a headache in custody situations. You never know how nasty people can get.

 

[debbiedee]

@katrina2017 Hmm…this is a great point. I didn’t consider that at all

 

[m76]

@debbiedee 100% what previous poster said. For the sake of the separation process, and long term well being of the child, in case saving does take four years and the child does want space of their own. Make the living room/den your bedroom, have a sleeping space you can actually use (pull out couch, Murphy bed), dresser etc. The bedroom should be for the child and the child should know that, and be reminded.

However all that being said……I’m a single mom with a 3.5 year old….who sleeps in my bed every single night! We both absolutely love it, she’s never left my room. They’re only little so long.

I did have a cradle, then crib, then toddler bed beside my bed, but it got to the point that the toddler bed was never being used. My plan was not to room share, but it works great for us.

I make sure my little one knows that they have their own bedroom, a trundle bed (an option if you want two separate beds without taking up lots of space) which is nicer than my bed lol. I check in with my little one often and offer for them to sleep in their room, with or without me. So far these offers have been consistently declined, but the option is ALWAYS there, with no guilt!

Good luck