Newborn has trouble sleeping in bassinet so we tried bedsharing last night and it worked but we're still worried

[selja]

Hi, we are first-time parents and every single resource we've come across (classes, articles, doctor's visits, hospital) has preached safe sleep and having your baby sleep in a bassinet or crib by themselves.

Our baby is one week old and we have tried putting him, swaddled, changed, asleep in the bassinet at night but after a few minutes, he will start whining which escalates to full on screaming. We pretty much get 2-3 hours a sleep a night which is making us crazy. We read up about bedsharing and decided to give it a try while keeping blankets, pillows as far away from him.

Last night, we had him nuzzled up to mom and he slept so well! We got a stretch of 3 hours of sleep, woke up to feed, and then got another stretch of 3 hours of sleep. We feel so alive again.

However, we are still worried about the dangers that we've been hearing all this time (e.g. SIDS, suffocation, etc.). So we have a few questions:

1. Is there any way we can try to make him sleep better in the bassinet? Is it that the bassinet isn't warm enough? White noise? Other things we can do?
2. Are there any strategies for mitigating as much risk as possible when it comes to bed sharing?
3. Will bed sharing lead to co-dependence or make it harder for him to want to sleep as he gets older (e.g. in the bassinet, crib, in his own room, etc.)

 

[roxanneadam]

@selja I don't have any suggestions on the bassinet because I have bed shared with all 5 of my children. Read up on safe sleep 7. That's what I have always followed. My children sleep with me for as long as I'm breastfeeding. When I wean them that's when I also transition them to their own beds/rooms. Bed sharing did not make them co dependent and they transitioned to their own sleeping spaces easily. Right now my older 4 children sleep on the second floor in their own rooms. My youngest is 7 months and still sleeps with me.

 

[wijavo]

@roxanneadam When did you start transitioning them to their own beds? Since you did both weaning and their own bed at the same time, what was that experience like?

Smalls is 13 months and we've already weaned, except for when we co sleep. I'd like any advice/tips since you seem experienced.

 

[roxanneadam]

@wijavo I breastfeed until 24 months and do gradual transition to their own beds so it takes a few months but I don't like tears so it works for us. Weaning is usually the hard part. Once they're fully weaned and start sleeping without nursing I lay with them until they're asleep and then move to my own bed. Their beds stay in my room for a few months. If they wake up in the middle of the night I take them back to their bed and pat them or sit with them for a few minutes. They usually go back to sleep quickly. Once they're comfortable with their beds I move the bed to their rooms. I still stay with them in their room until they fall asleep. All of my children have been fully sleeping and staying in their rooms all night by 2.5 to 3 years of age.

Edited to add: All except the 7 months old. He still nurses to sleep in my bed.

 

[smmath]

@selja Here's a link for the Safe Sleep Seven https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/

The US is way behind most of the rest of the world in offering risk reduction techniques for bedsharing, it sounds like that's where you're from. Here is some info from the UK https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/