Names pronounced differently by both parents?

[peakdixon]

Does anyone have any experience with names that the parents of the individual pronounce differently? Is it a no-go or completely fine? I can’t make up my mind.

I’m especially interested in multilingual family situations, i.e. imagine a French-Canadian family called their son “Vincent” and the French-speaking parent uses the French pronunciation and the English-speaking parent uses the English pronunciation. Is that confusing for the child, or the surroundings possibly?

I’m asking as someone planning a family with a partner who’d be speaking a different language to our hypothetical child. He thinks it’s totally fine if we pick a name we will always pronounce differently, but I’m a huge name nerd and I feel like if I was that child, it’d annoy me to not have “one” name?

 

[aldredian]

@peakdixon Well, I have a totally different name for my son in a different language (it was too hard to find a Jewish name that sounds like a Chinese name and vice versa). He's responding to both his names (11 month old).

I also grew up with multiple names - my Chinese one and English. Not to mention, pet names in Chinese my family are still using to call me. My grandma calls me with my Chinese name but in Taiwanese so that's yet another variation.

I really don't care. It reflects the diversity of my identity.

 

[mysticalmiracle]

@peakdixon Yes! My husband's first language is French and mine is English. We named our baby Arthur and both say it in our languages. I don't see a problem, and his grandparents (the French speaking ones) will say it differently than my mother.

 

[mitzisdad]

@mysticalmiracle That’s exactly how our family approaches our daughters name. We’re yet to have had any problems

 

[pastorken86]

@peakdixon Names are not different from other words where "mommy says X and daddy says Y."

 

[godmadegorillas]

@peakdixon I don't think it's a problem at all! It's bound to happen with pretty much any name you pick. I knew my son would be hearing his name pronounced differently in 4 languages on a regular basis so I just picked a name that's common enough in all 4 languages to make it a little easier. Whatever name you pick will be fine!

 

[nickamis]

@peakdixon We went with names that exist in both languages (French and English), and are pronounced fairly similarly. So for example, names like Guillaume or Genevieve were ruled out. We still pronounce their names slightly differently, but they’re similar enough that I don’t think it’s a big deal.

 

[dorathea]

@peakdixon Yeah. We tried to avoid bilingual names, but got one by accident!

One of our twins has a Japanese/English name and she gets the Japanese version at home and English everywhere else. The other has a unique Irish name which is mispronounced Japanese-style by us at home and mispronounced a different way by everybody else.

Meh. They seem fine. It's no different than a kid having a nickname, or being referred to by the first-name in public and the middle name at home, for example.

I think we were right to (try to) avoid bilingual names though. I'd prefer something that obviously from one language. Just personal preference.

 

[peakdixon]

@dorathea I agree with your preference. How do your kids introduce themselves (if they can speak)? How do you and your partner introduce them to new people?

Also just wanna say that having English/Japanese twins sounds very special and cute .

 

[cutin]

@peakdixon My friend's daughter uses the pronunciation of her name to work out which language the person speaks!

It's not this name exactly but for example if her name is Laura, when the person says Lora, they probably speak English. When the person says Lowra, they probably speak German.

 

[johnnyhudson]

@peakdixon We picked something that works in both languages. That's what we preferred, but it's not set in stone. If we had a girl, it would be a slightly different pronunciation.

YMMV based on the language combo. There is a website that shows you names that exist in both languages, it was linked here before...

 

[longroad]

@peakdixon I don’t really feel like what you’re describing is a “name nerd” issue as much as an issue of particularity. I’m a name nerd and couldn’t care less if someone spelled or pronounced my name wrong. My sister-in-law is not really “into” names beyond the normal amount of thinking about which names she prefers for her children, but DESPISES it when people spell her name wrong.

I’m sure first-hand accounts are more important to you right now than all the parents commenting, but I (like many other commenters) gave my daughters names that sound pretty similar in both languages. That wasn’t really a requirement though – we mainly just wanted names that sounded good in both languages.

It does secretly please me when family and friends use “my” pronunciation (I speak the minority language).

 

[peakdixon]

@longroad Thank you for sharing your experience! I guess it feels name-nerdy to me because I value very highly that there’s no room for confusion. As the minority language parent, how do you introduce your child to a majority language speaker? I’d be the majority language speaker in the future but I wouldn’t want to make it sound like I’m ignoring the child’s other culture by only using “my own” pronunciation.

 

[longroad]

@peakdixon We switch between the two pronunciations based on language, often within seconds. So if I introduce her to someone here, it would go something like “Dit is mijn dochter Joséphine, ze is nu 2,5”. “Josephine, this is Mr. X, Papa’s friend.”

When my husband is out with her and introduces her to someone, my side of her culture is effectively “ignored”, in the sense that her other language and name pronunciation isn’t part and parcel of the introduction. But our dual-culture/bilingual household is pretty integral to who we are and who she is, so it tends to come up. And we practice a pretty classic version of OPOL, so anyone seeing the three of us interact would hear both versions of her name.