My kids all have fevers and here’s what I’m fantasizing about today…

[peppermint_patty]

Picture it: the year is 2052. My child is 34 years old. Twitter has been rebranded “MuskRat”. I’m relaxing in my La-Z-Non-binary, reading the latest squeaks, when his wife sends me a MetaVerse Virtual Reality thought message. She’s complaining that he’s got a minor cold but he’s being a whiny pill about it. I laugh and MVRTM her back “I know… but he’s your problem now! Have fun!”
A summer breeze drifts in my window, bringing with it the reassuring chirps of the radioactive sewer rats rummaging through the trash heaps. I sigh contentedly. I am at peace.

 

[jerm_m]

@peppermint_patty Laughing at the "reassuring chirps of radioactive sewer rats" !

lol sounds peaceful

 

[scienceaf]

@jerm_m Favorite part, by far. I need OP to write a dark comedy dystopian novel, please.

 

[juniojeff]

@scienceaf I’ll but it! This post was a nice escape from reality

 

[jnapalo]

@scienceaf I want the utopian fully automated luxury communism version, where her son works a 3 hour shift at the e-bike factory, and her daughter in law is the chief HVAC technician for a polycule of catgirls.

 

[john129er]

@peppermint_patty Best thing I’ve read today. You should have a blog. Or better yet a muskrat post where we can follow you. Enjoy your daydream.

 

[kc843]

@john129er Yes! This was so funny. I want to hear more about this dystopian future.

 

[katrina2017]

@peppermint_patty LMFAO now this is what I call comedy

 

[harpin76]

@peppermint_patty Solidarity sister. My kids infected me, I feel like the balled up snotty tissue I’m currently clutching, meanwhile they were sick for 48 hours and are back to terrorizing the neighborhood (doc cleared them don’t worry) while I’ll be sick for a week and a half because I gave them all my antibodies. May God have mercy on us all.

 

[peppermint_patty]

@harpin76 That’s the worst! At least when the kids are sick at the same time you can plug them into TV all day guilt-free and rest yourself

 

[hispoiema777]

@peppermint_patty I do that anyway or the iPad. Whatever glows.

 

[yueba]

@harpin76 You get your kids cleared to let them play outside? We found the lazy parent (it's me).

 

[ennisdavis]

@peppermint_patty When my baby has a bad night, I think of my mom peacefully sleeping that night. Is it too early to say I can’t wait to be grandma??

 

[peppermint_patty]

@ennisdavis Right? They did their time for sure but the Grandma gig is definitely a sweet one

 

[rebecca25]

@ennisdavis Sometimes I say “I had kids to be a grandma” lol

 

[scottles]

@peppermint_patty Lol I think you might have lost it

 

[peppermint_patty]

@scottles you’re not wrong. Was up with the sick baby most of the night and this kid in particular is very dramatic when he’s sick so I’m running on some weird fumes today

 

[ambassadorcjk]

@peppermint_patty I love it, let's build a lay-z-on-binary community a-la mad max style. You in?

 

[peppermint_patty]

@ambassadorcjk YES The minute I have free time! So like… 17 1/2 years from now?

 

[ambassadorcjk]

@peppermint_patty And since I'm late to everything now that I have kids see ya in 20 years, that's close enough right?