My 8 (f) year old is stealing

[precurefan2002]

Trigger warning SA

My daughter was SA 2 years ago by a close family friend. I walked in while he was "massaging" himself over her exposed body. He was charged and we go to trial in Match ( 2 years and 3.5 months later).

As a witness I am not allowed to talk to her about what happened. She attended councilling through the SA center for 9 months. Her father and I split and he is no help so to keep my job I had to take her out of councilling.

I had a friend and her kids move in with me to help pay the bills. Lately she has been taking my roommates daughter's things. Thibgs like Christmas gifts. She also constantly steals my make up and hides food in her room. When confronted she bold face lies.

I have called the SA center to get her back into therapy. Bit I am at a loss on what to do. My roommate is considering moving out as she feels the addition of her family is making thibgs worse.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this. I'm so worried about my daughter

 

[jsc2009]

@precurefan2002 Therapy is a great first step. It sucks she had to stop in the first place, I’m assuming your ex pays child support? (You’d think he’d be worried about his daughters well being but some people can’t be bothered.)

Is it possible to have some locks installed to your roommates room? I feel like limiting your daughters access is probably the quickest solution to the immediate stealing issue (definitely not the underlying problem though).

Also, are you sure you can’t talk to her about what happened? That’s insane to me that as her parent you can’t comfort her. Is it because they think you’ll coerce her to say something? I just can’t understand that.

All my support to you. I really hope she gets help and that guy gets what he deserves.

 

[precurefan2002]

@jsc2009 He does pay child support and sees them every other weekend. But he is a fun time parent so no support from him when it comes to raising them

I can't talk to her because of the trial. If I do it can make our testimony invalid. I have been warned ( kindly) by the Crown Prosecution. She also doesn't fully comprehend what happened

I'm gonna look into a lock on the door to the basement so she can't get down there. Thank you for the idea

 

[jesscat]

@precurefan2002 I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice but I’m so sorry for what your daughter and you are both going through. How awful for you both. I know at a certain level lying / stealing etc can be somewhat normal as children don’t understand consequences and lying is a normal developmental step, but given the context of the SA I don’t know what that means. Maybe it’s not related at all, but perhaps that’s naive of me. I hope that the trial isn’t too stressful for you both and if you can get her into some sort of counselling I’m sure that would be of help. Are there charities that could offer some help?

 

[precurefan2002]

@jesscat Thank you . The SA center provides lifetime councilling for survivors of SA here. I can call and re do an intake and have her seeing someone quickly. I booked the intake today