@pecosheero I have a 6 year old that also did this and during the same time slot of about 3-7 each day. I created a chart for each day after a school that broke up the afternoon into activities with pictures to indicate each one. I broke the afternoon into basic routines of come home, snack, individual play time with me, then time to practice something (my kid does martial arts so she can practice that or we can do reading or writing practice) or do chores together, then "free play" which really just equates to play by yourself. The physical printed chart with pictures helped her understand this would be the new routine. Free play is time for her to play on her own while I do whatever I want/need. Sometimes I read or do chores or whatever but I just reminded her when she would ask for me to entertain her that it's her free play time.
I implemented this months ago and she used to need it and would follow it to the letter each day. Now I'm noticing she desires that free play time more and more. Kids need that time to imagine, to play, and you do, too! So for us structure was the answer. Solidarity!!
@pecosheero This can be controversial in this group, but my advice is don't entertain the kid in whatever he asks. Sometimes I pretend that I am not OAD and cant fulfill whatever my kid is asking. Also give him some milestones like only after u finish cleaning up these toys, we can start with another game, etc. Or teach him to tell time and tell him you can only play at x'o clock. Builds patience. Everytime he asks to play, ask him what time it is -- then ask him how much time is remaining before you promised him to play. Helps math. Tell him of he helps mamma in chores, u can be available to play sooner.
And when u play with him do not always play on his terms always. Be like a real playmate, tell him it will be tun by turn. Play strategy games like connect 4, which builds attention and focus. When he is finally ready agewise, chess is the best game for building attention and focus. It has personally helped me a lot.
@pecosheero We have a 7 year old high-functioning autistic boy. We would often get “I don’t know what to dooooooo.” His therapist suggested an activity jar. We put a bunch of favorite solo activities in there and he pulls one out, does it for 20 minutes and then pulls another one. He can pull a second one out if he doesn’t like the first, but then he has to do the second. We do have screen games in there which is his favorite, but it is limited to 20 minutes.
We were oad due to fertility issues but had a much-wanted “surprise” when he was 2. And while they are best friends and there are times when the two of them play together and it’s wonderful, those times are far outweighed by having to mediate fights or intervene when the 4 year old provokes the oldest or when the two of them just rile each other up into a complete poop show. Whenever we have only one of them (doesn’t make a difference which) my wife and I comment on how much easier and calmer it is.
@imperfectcreature I truly have. I text people and ask but so far have gotten no where. If other parents do not get back to me I don’t really know what else I can do. This has been an on going struggle since we moved to this town 3 years ago.
@pecosheero So sorry you are dealing with this. Short of moving to a place where there are activities and programs, what if you hired a teen or university student to spend time with your child? They could do walks outdoors, learn to code, do yard work, etc.
Can you go to the local playground and hang out with whomever is there? Where do all the kids go in the summer?
Can you find some video games that you don't mind playing with him sometimes? And he can play on his own as well?
@pecosheero My son is the same way. He is 4. Usually, I'll have him help me clean by asking him to load the dishwasher with any stray dishes around rhe house, pick up all the trash, his toys, and the dog toys, then I let him play video games while I sweep and mop. He also doesn't nap anymore usually so we have switched to "quiet time" where everyone gets a break in the middle of the day, so he goes to his room and plays quietly. I set his color changing alarm clock so he knows he can't come out until it is green. It has taken a few weeks and it's not perfect yet, but he really will only play alone if he can't see me, so the solution is working for now.
