PLEASE read the whole post, or see TLDR.
I'm 18, but my sister is 4, nearly 5 in a few days. She is extremely intelligent, and so, so gifted: she can read, write some, identify every letter, number, shape, animal-- even things I don't even know. She'll talk about science concepts that no kid even hears a sliver about until third grade. She's always been ahead like this. When she's calm and herself, too, she is sweet and curious, but as of the past year, she's rarely herself.
She loves to watch cartoons, and always has, but as of the past year, she's started attaching herself to fictional characters, or just animals. For example, she'll call herself (like she is right now) 'the cat' and when asked something, will say 'the cat doesn't like this'. She'll understand when I call her by her name, but doesn't attach herself completely to it at all.
What worries me is when she gets violent. She's honestly been prone to violence since she was a toddler, and has broken so, so much. She broke our tv, two phones, a tablet, glass, you name it. (No, these weren't given to her willingly, unless she was using someone's phone to watch something.) She started hitting, kicking, scratching, and throwing things about a year ago, too, and when she's angry, she will not listen. She's had so many screaming fits, ones where she's thrown her voice out completely. She'll writhe in my mom's grip when she tries to hold her down to stop her from hurting herself or someone else. She also doesn't sleep-- she's up until 3-4 am many nights, and wakes up late.
When she gets violent, scared, or sad, she often will revert to other characters. She'll pretend to be Donald Duck, saying 'You made Donald sad', or hiss and scratch when she's angry. When she's extremely angry or crying, she'll do it in character. For example, she'll meow while she cries, screaming in meows and hissing.
She constantly is making messes, like getting into food and spilling it, taking things we're working on, and generally not listening to what we say is wrong.
We've all tried to make a barrier between pretend and play: we will say calmly, "We are not pretending to be (character) right now, we are doing something else. We will play later." -and other alike things, to try and tell her that pretending nonstop is not good. Having an imagination is amazing, but being completely caught up, aloof, and violent is not right. This usually makes her mad, and she insists she is not pretending, adamantly saying, "No, /I am/ (character)!"
Whenever I've tried to point out that this behavior is wrong, that she needs to see someone, my parents get angry at me. I feel like they know. I know that I'm not her mom, but seeing her throw things at me, scratch my mom till she bleeds, scream until the neighbors call the cops-- I can't do it. I really can't do it. I'll admit that I've made suggestions to my parents before, saying, "That's not right, she shouldn't be watching cartoons that much." Or I've given tips to calm her down, maybe approach things differently. (I'm in my second year of being a student assistant preschool/head start teacher through my career program, so we've had to practice such tips with kids with trauma.) This only makes them more angry, as I'm their kid-- I'm not her mother. I get that that would make anyone mad, and that it really doesn't matter what I think, but I just don't agree with some things.
I know that it might seem like I'm over-dramatizing some things, but I really am trying my best to convey what happens in the most straightforward way that I can. There are truly times when my sister is herself; she'll be kind, want to do activities with me, and listen to what we tell her. She'll be obedient sometimes. I also know that my parents are just as confused as I am, and that they're trying their best-- I just wish I could communicate with them better.
I've cried so, so much over her. I love her with my entire heart, as I've helped raise her, and it breaks my heart to see her lash out so violently, lose touch with who she is, and seemingly just not learn or care to listen. I use to try hard to combat it, but by now, I barely try any more. My parents insist that I worry about it too much, that it's none of my business, but I'm sick over this. I just can't take it. It makes me so tired, sad, and scared some days.
Has any parent/relative experienced extreme behavior like this from thier child? Could you maybe give me some advice? (I'm sorry for any grammatical errors.)
TLDR: My 4 y/o sister is constantly pretending to be a character, and also has extreme emotional tendencies, like violent anger. My parents still have not pursued getting her professional help, and I don't agree with their methods. I need advice, and want to see if any parents have children who act this way.
I'm 18, but my sister is 4, nearly 5 in a few days. She is extremely intelligent, and so, so gifted: she can read, write some, identify every letter, number, shape, animal-- even things I don't even know. She'll talk about science concepts that no kid even hears a sliver about until third grade. She's always been ahead like this. When she's calm and herself, too, she is sweet and curious, but as of the past year, she's rarely herself.
She loves to watch cartoons, and always has, but as of the past year, she's started attaching herself to fictional characters, or just animals. For example, she'll call herself (like she is right now) 'the cat' and when asked something, will say 'the cat doesn't like this'. She'll understand when I call her by her name, but doesn't attach herself completely to it at all.
What worries me is when she gets violent. She's honestly been prone to violence since she was a toddler, and has broken so, so much. She broke our tv, two phones, a tablet, glass, you name it. (No, these weren't given to her willingly, unless she was using someone's phone to watch something.) She started hitting, kicking, scratching, and throwing things about a year ago, too, and when she's angry, she will not listen. She's had so many screaming fits, ones where she's thrown her voice out completely. She'll writhe in my mom's grip when she tries to hold her down to stop her from hurting herself or someone else. She also doesn't sleep-- she's up until 3-4 am many nights, and wakes up late.
When she gets violent, scared, or sad, she often will revert to other characters. She'll pretend to be Donald Duck, saying 'You made Donald sad', or hiss and scratch when she's angry. When she's extremely angry or crying, she'll do it in character. For example, she'll meow while she cries, screaming in meows and hissing.
She constantly is making messes, like getting into food and spilling it, taking things we're working on, and generally not listening to what we say is wrong.
We've all tried to make a barrier between pretend and play: we will say calmly, "We are not pretending to be (character) right now, we are doing something else. We will play later." -and other alike things, to try and tell her that pretending nonstop is not good. Having an imagination is amazing, but being completely caught up, aloof, and violent is not right. This usually makes her mad, and she insists she is not pretending, adamantly saying, "No, /I am/ (character)!"
Whenever I've tried to point out that this behavior is wrong, that she needs to see someone, my parents get angry at me. I feel like they know. I know that I'm not her mom, but seeing her throw things at me, scratch my mom till she bleeds, scream until the neighbors call the cops-- I can't do it. I really can't do it. I'll admit that I've made suggestions to my parents before, saying, "That's not right, she shouldn't be watching cartoons that much." Or I've given tips to calm her down, maybe approach things differently. (I'm in my second year of being a student assistant preschool/head start teacher through my career program, so we've had to practice such tips with kids with trauma.) This only makes them more angry, as I'm their kid-- I'm not her mother. I get that that would make anyone mad, and that it really doesn't matter what I think, but I just don't agree with some things.
I know that it might seem like I'm over-dramatizing some things, but I really am trying my best to convey what happens in the most straightforward way that I can. There are truly times when my sister is herself; she'll be kind, want to do activities with me, and listen to what we tell her. She'll be obedient sometimes. I also know that my parents are just as confused as I am, and that they're trying their best-- I just wish I could communicate with them better.
I've cried so, so much over her. I love her with my entire heart, as I've helped raise her, and it breaks my heart to see her lash out so violently, lose touch with who she is, and seemingly just not learn or care to listen. I use to try hard to combat it, but by now, I barely try any more. My parents insist that I worry about it too much, that it's none of my business, but I'm sick over this. I just can't take it. It makes me so tired, sad, and scared some days.
Has any parent/relative experienced extreme behavior like this from thier child? Could you maybe give me some advice? (I'm sorry for any grammatical errors.)
TLDR: My 4 y/o sister is constantly pretending to be a character, and also has extreme emotional tendencies, like violent anger. My parents still have not pursued getting her professional help, and I don't agree with their methods. I need advice, and want to see if any parents have children who act this way.
They definitely are distressed too, and have undoubtedly worried about it more than I have-- they just deal with it in a different way. My dad is on 2nd shift, so the only time he gets to spend with my mom is when it's late. That's probably when my sister watches the most stuff, in order for them to have any free time. I feel like that would affect a lot if it were changed. My friends, fam, and teachers honestly don't know the full story, as I'm embarrassed of how me or my family will look, but the adults I have told have said to look into talking to a doctor. My parents have even considered it, but like I said, my dad is working and gone all of the time.