My 3.5 year old refuses to use the big potty

[writtenword75]

She turned 3 in May. She's definitely ready to use the big potty. She tells me when she goes poop in her pull-up and/or wants to be changed. She watches me go potty all the time and she knows what its for. We bought her a pretty princess potty seat. She was excited for her new big girl panties. At first she was excited to wear them. But she just kept peeing in them. Now she says "NO!" if i ask her if she wants to wear her big girl panties, or if i ask if she wants to use the big girl potty. Ive been very patient and supportive, but now im getting kinda worried. Her little friends are using the big potty and she just refuses. And shows no interest. Any tips or ideas, pleaseee of moms who've been through this?!? My first born daughter learned on her own and i barely had to try, and that was 10 years ago. So im alittle lost. TIA.

 

[milikova]

@writtenword75 My son turned 4 in May. He didn’t start using the big potty until June. It was a struggle and I tried from 2.5 til this past June. He just didn’t want to do it. So one day I sat him down and said tomorrow no more pull ups. No more diapers. I threw them away. The next day we started and I sat him down every 30 mins. Then the 2nd day he did it. He doesn’t even wear a pull up to bed. It was a struggle. I don’t know if he
Seeing me throw them away made him start or me talking to him. It just clicked for him. I hope it helps.

 

[writtenword75]

@milikova Thats a good idea.. I even mentioned to my SO that maybe shes so comfortable staying in a pull up because she knows we have them. So maybe if theyre outta sight, she'll think she has no choice. Thank you!

 

[saraphrased]

@milikova This is the way. Throw out all diapers and pull ups!

 

[abrahamictheist]

@writtenword75 Other than commiseration (my kids had very frustrating challenges, but not that specific one), all I can offer is the book that helped me. "Oh Crap! Potty Training" I found to be great, it is a how-to, but also includes a bunch of chapters on specific what-ifs. Maybe check it out at the library?

Good luck!

 

[writtenword75]

@abrahamictheist I will try anything. Thank you!

 

[abrahamictheist]

@writtenword75 I've recommended it to many ppl, I hope it helps you!

 

[hidden_truth]

@abrahamictheist Seconded. It has ALL the info. Also, I got it from the public library, so free!

 

[paulthomas]

@writtenword75 Another vote for the “Oh Crap” potty training book. It worked within a few days for us.

 

[tshimangadzo]

@writtenword75 Does she have a favorite doll? Maybe have the doll "go potty" and then praise the doll. Another idea is have her decorate the outside of the potty with stickers. Have you tried rewarding her? We used a sticker chart for my 2 year old and we would always say "no pee pee pants, pee pee potty", which she would repeat.

 

[writtenword75]

@tshimangadzo Yes. She has a favorite doll. & the doll even has its own little potty seat. lol. it didnt help. We tried rewards as in treats, but we havent tried stickers. She loves stickers, so that may actually help. Thank you.

 

[tshimangadzo]

@writtenword75 Good luck! I bought a poster board and a book of brand new stickers that she only gets when she uses the potty. We're 3 weeks in and it's going well.

 

[divinejourney]

@writtenword75 We did the thing where you stay home for 3 days and the kids don’t wear any pants. Once they start peeing you put them on the potty. Eventually they get it. Then add shorts with no undies for a few days. Then undies like regular. The sensation of fabric on their bodies mimics the diaper so that’s the idea of no pants. We also bribed with candy. Hey, whatever works.

Night training is biological and should be allowed to happen at the child’s own pace. Use a diaper at night.

 

[writtenword75]

@divinejourney I thought about doing the no pants things, but im just worried about her peeing everywhere.

 

[divinejourney]

@writtenword75 I was too, but it wasn’t that bad. I removed area rugs and covered the floors with towels and a potty. Stayed in the living room most of the day on the first day. It went a lot better than I thought. Yea there were pee accidents on the floor, but I just sat him on the potty and cleaned it up. They actually say to give them a lot of juice and water so they have to pee to get things moving. We also watched a lot of potty shows: Elmo, Daniel tiger, and some weird monkey potty thing on YouTube.

I was really surprised how easy it ended up. We tried once at 2.5 and he was not ready: crying on the potty, never clapping or being happy when he made it on, etc. Tried again at 3 years old and it was really easy.

 

[all4hisglory]

@writtenword75 I’m potty training my second daughter using this method after reading ‘Oh Crap!’ as somebody has recommended further down. Yeah it’s messy for the first couple of days and you’ll need to stock up on cleaning supplies but I found it works if you persevere! Some days go well, some days regress more but we’re on day 5 with my 26 month old and she has made such progress! But I recommend reading the book first as it is great for giving you the confidence and empowerment that you need!

 

[biblehistoria]

@writtenword75 Ours is a couple months shy of 3.5 and is exactly the same. Heck he can even change his own pull up, apart from getting his pants on the right way. I jokingly said “if he can change his own diaper I don’t even care anymore” but my husband was like “maybe if he pays for his own diapers too…”

I only joke because we’ve tried everything. He doesn’t care if his pants are dirty and no reward is good enough for him to care. I’ve asked him why he doesn’t want to use the potty and he’ll never answer. I don’t know what else to do but wait. Everyone else gives him such a hard time about it and I’m afraid they’re just making it worse.

 

[writtenword75]

@biblehistoria “maybe if he pays for his own diapers too…”

Omg. Lol. Sounds like my SO. Diapers can get expensive though. Its funny your little guy can change his own pull ups. My daughter just brings me a pull up and the wipes when she wants to be changed. Its frustrating. Like if you KNOW you need to be changed, then you KNOW you couldve been sitting on the potty. I hope we both figure it out though. Lol. Ive gotten a couple good tips in this thread i havent tried yet. Good luck to you.

 

[elainecoffey]

@writtenword75 My 2.5 year old does the same thing. She'll grab a diaper and wipes and walk up to me and say "mommy I peed, or mommy I pooped. Change my diaper," and I'm like if you know you're doing it why oh why can't you just tell me you have to go potty? I've heard most kids treat pull ups like diapers so we're not even bothering to buy them, just trying to go straight from diapers to underwear. It's extra hard because I work nights so I'm honestly just so tired the day after I work and don't feel like constantly sitting her on the potty all day. I'm good about it on days I get a full night's sleep, but I know the lack of consistency isn't helping.

 

[writtenword75]

@elainecoffey I know what you mean about the lack of consistency. Its hard sometimes being a mom and having to do a million things and try to keep on a potty training schedule. I stuggle with that too. We're all doing out best! Good luck to you.