Hi - I've never posted here before, I hope this is the right place for this post? But if anyone knows of a more appropriate one, just let me know?
Title says it all, really - this came at me very much out of left field, and I'm just not sure how to react here.
My 17-y-o DS has just confessed to me that he's been making comments and judgements (and getting into the occasional argument) on YouTube vids - but under my name! Because he was using my desktop (which I let him from time to time) and at first when he posted a comment, it said "Comment as [my name]" and he just left it as that "because it was easier" - that was 5 years ago and he went on doing it till last year(!) - when he grew up a bit (all at once, like teenage boys sometimes do) became uneasy about it and stopped. And finally just now confessed..!
Background is my DS is a shy, introverted kid, with a serious health disability, and many anxieties arising from that (and a degree of neurodivergence). On balance I would say mainly a good kid - kind (e.g. to other kids in the support group for his condition), helpful at home, works hard at school - where he's been badly bullied, and some anger issues there and very defensive around "real" people. So goes out very little, particularly since Pandemic, has online friendship groups rather than hanging out; mainly interested in films, animation videos, YouTube (actually going on to study film), this area is his thing.
He says this commenting and arguing as "me" is all on YouTube, mainly on nerd fan sites for Marvel, Star Wars etc. and it seems to be all at the level of commenting on characters / actors / plot - the "angry" stuff wasn't getting personal with other commentators, more about "Total rubbish they did THIS in The Rise of Skywalker!!" etc. But he's now got worried about people responding back to "me"...! (Btw my name is very common, won't immediately identify me-the-individual - think Jane Jones - and not even the name I use on social media. But is still actually my name.) So he gradually got more worried and fessed up - and props for that, I guess.
So I've left him wading through "my" comment history and deleting them - and y'all, there are hundreds!! - while I come on here to consult about how to play this...
I literally don't know how to react, how heavy to get about this. I'm uneasy about it, obvs, and not happy at all that this was on my work desktop (I WFH) - I have good anti-virus and firewall (yes and parental controls - nope, no p--n), I'm VERY protective of it generally. But I'm not angry, as such (...should I be??), more confused really. It feels like, it's not great that he did it but he confessed (or I wouldn't even have known!); it was in the past and nothing too bad has come from it (- that I know of?!), and he's trying to sort it out.
So, first-off, are there possible consequences I'm not seeing? And what level of response IS appropriate to this - suggestions for penalties?? Or leave it at "I'm disappointed in you, that's not cool - but thanks for owning up - don't do it again!!!"
Thoughts...?
Title says it all, really - this came at me very much out of left field, and I'm just not sure how to react here.
My 17-y-o DS has just confessed to me that he's been making comments and judgements (and getting into the occasional argument) on YouTube vids - but under my name! Because he was using my desktop (which I let him from time to time) and at first when he posted a comment, it said "Comment as [my name]" and he just left it as that "because it was easier" - that was 5 years ago and he went on doing it till last year(!) - when he grew up a bit (all at once, like teenage boys sometimes do) became uneasy about it and stopped. And finally just now confessed..!
Background is my DS is a shy, introverted kid, with a serious health disability, and many anxieties arising from that (and a degree of neurodivergence). On balance I would say mainly a good kid - kind (e.g. to other kids in the support group for his condition), helpful at home, works hard at school - where he's been badly bullied, and some anger issues there and very defensive around "real" people. So goes out very little, particularly since Pandemic, has online friendship groups rather than hanging out; mainly interested in films, animation videos, YouTube (actually going on to study film), this area is his thing.
He says this commenting and arguing as "me" is all on YouTube, mainly on nerd fan sites for Marvel, Star Wars etc. and it seems to be all at the level of commenting on characters / actors / plot - the "angry" stuff wasn't getting personal with other commentators, more about "Total rubbish they did THIS in The Rise of Skywalker!!" etc. But he's now got worried about people responding back to "me"...! (Btw my name is very common, won't immediately identify me-the-individual - think Jane Jones - and not even the name I use on social media. But is still actually my name.) So he gradually got more worried and fessed up - and props for that, I guess.
So I've left him wading through "my" comment history and deleting them - and y'all, there are hundreds!! - while I come on here to consult about how to play this...
I literally don't know how to react, how heavy to get about this. I'm uneasy about it, obvs, and not happy at all that this was on my work desktop (I WFH) - I have good anti-virus and firewall (yes and parental controls - nope, no p--n), I'm VERY protective of it generally. But I'm not angry, as such (...should I be??), more confused really. It feels like, it's not great that he did it but he confessed (or I wouldn't even have known!); it was in the past and nothing too bad has come from it (- that I know of?!), and he's trying to sort it out.
So, first-off, are there possible consequences I'm not seeing? And what level of response IS appropriate to this - suggestions for penalties?? Or leave it at "I'm disappointed in you, that's not cool - but thanks for owning up - don't do it again!!!"
Thoughts...?