Morning conversations with my 4 y/o

[rab1]

Me, after noticing he was taking a really long time to eat his breakfast today:

- "N, eat your breakfast, we don't want to be late for school"

- "We're not late for school."

- "We will be if you don't finish up, it's 7:45 already."

- "It's not 7:45 already."

- "Yes it is, look at the clock."

- *Proceeds to look at the clock, which says 7:45*. "It's not a school day today."

- "Yes it is, it's a Tuesday. Tuesdays are school days, that's the rule."

- "That's not the rule. Tuesdays are weekends."

- "No, N, Tuesdays are school days. Saturday and Sunday are weekend days. You don't get to change the rule."

- "I don't 'don't get to change the rule'. Children make the rules and grown-ups follow the rules, that's the rule daddy".

- "That's not the rule, N, grown ups make these rules, and we all have to follow them."

- "We don't all have to follow them."

- "N, stop denying everything I say."

- "I'm not denying everything you say."

- "You're doing it right now.."

- "Do whales have hiccups?"

- *45 more minutes of this*

He does get around to doing what I ask, most of the time, and he keeps a very calm voice, just complaining all the way through.

I love him dearly, but every morning I get exhausted before 9AM

 

[mrussell]

@rab1 Don’t worry… it gets better…

Today my 7 yo lost it cause he wanted his banana cut into squares.

How. The. Hell. Do. You. Do. That.

 

[romnickhudges]

@mrussell You know how trees get turned into planks, yeah? I'd imagine a technique similar to that. Keep the X & Y axes trimmed as close to 90° while following whatever the natural path of the Z axis happens to be.

Having said that, I've never actually gotten that request, have never tried, am not a lawyer etc., so inb4 instructions unclear haha.

 

[mrussell]

@romnickhudges Turns out - thick slices. From the top they look like squares or rectangles if you cut them thick enough, on a straightish side of a banana.

Took 30 min to get there though.

 

[romnickhudges]

@mrussell Good on ya for trying it out! I'll hafta keep that idea in the toolbox just in case, to keep up the "always prepared wizard" disguise (over the "actually just hella useless info for the most part" reality).

 

[pk6259]

@mrussell banana planer jointer obviously.

 

[kashame]

@pk6259 Time to fire up the 3d printer

 

[somali4humanity]

@kashame This would be a very ‘dad’ response to such a request

 

[emily3]

@mrussell Oh man. The day my son sobbed because I bought toasty O's and then offered him Cheerios. "THEY'RE NOT CALLED CHEERIOS"...

 

[trlysm]

@emily3 It doesn't improve much. My daughter saw a crippled duck in a livestock order a few years ago. She was 11 or 12, the duck had a malformed wing she wants to be a veterinarian so she talked us into keeping him. Clean bill of health sets him up in her room. He is enjoying his water and Purina Duckchow plopped in her lap. His Duckchow is empty so veterinarian says give him Cheerios and wait for the feed delivery to the farm. I hear banging daughter is breaking up the O's to make eating easier, then flips her lid because the O's are Walmart "Happy O's" but he likes "Cheerios"

Somehow they both survived...

 

[katrina2017]

@mrussell Not on demand, but with a little prep:

1. Smush bananas into ice cube tray, freeze.
2. Wait until the next time he asks for banana cubes.
3. Amaze the crap out of them!

 

[dishfarmer]

@mrussell Wastefully. Scraps for dad.

 

[haydenm]

@dishfarmer I take my dad tax in many shapes and sizes.

 

[jep4christ]

@mrussell Let them do it We have plastic kitchen knives that our 4yo uses so if he wants something cut in his way he gets to do it.

 

[mrussell]

@jep4christ Oh 7 and 5 usually bust out a knife, or get the banana themselves etc.

This is time changed induced rage for sure.

 

[katrina2017]

@mrussell My son had a meltdown because the whipped cream was on top of his birthday cake, instead of on the side. I put it on top because his exact words were, “whipped cream on top please.”

 

[rab1]

@mrussell Thanks! I’m sure it’s just a phase, and tbh it’s pretty funny sometimes to see how his mind works.

Cutting bananas into squares doesn’t sound a lot better though

 

[katrina2017]

@mrussell Freeze it in cubes then cut it imbecile

/s?

 

[juanmz28]

@rab1 To answer his question: yes, whales hiccup