Looking for alternatives to the children's dance industrial complex

[apor2017]

Hello! My 4 year old has expressed interest in ballet, primarily just playing pretend and reading the Angelina Ballerina books. Part of me wants to enroll her in ballet, but a bigger part of me wants no part of ~dance~. There are a few reasons for this, and they are:

1) Expense. We really can't afford to take on the cost right now. The classes and costumes and recital fees. It's outrageous and seems like it just gets more and more expensive.

2) Culture. I don't like 4 year olds wearing blush and lipstick. I don't like the endless push to take more and more classes and glammed up photo shoots. I don't like all the costumes and the dance moms. I'm just really, really not interested in engaging with stuff.

3) Medical. My daughter and I have hEDS. I've had some doctors suggest we should keep her out of intense dance and/or gymnastics. I am not overly concerned about this, as I was a super athletic kid, but hEDS is different for everyone so who knows how it'll play out for her as she gets older. But I think if it's just for fun, it'll be fine.

I wish there were some more chill forms of dance without all the expense and cultural baggage. I've considered just seeing if I can hire a teenager to teach my kid some basic ballet moves, but I worry that'll open the door to taking more formal classes. Anyone else feel this way or have any suggestions? Thanks!

 

[bofaith]

@apor2017 Our local rec center has dance classes for small children. No specific outfits, no makeup, just a bunch of kids learning to move their bodies to music. Maybe your local rec center has something similar?

 

[peakwealth]

@bofaith Was going to suggest Parks and Rec classes. These tend to be lower key. Another place to look is a local youth theater? They may offer some classes that are less intensive. Also see if there are performing arts non profits in your area. I find for profit dance studios tend to be very different in culture than non profit arts programming. Finally, it may be hard to find but if you can find creative dance classes those would be great for this age. You may be able to find zoom classes if there aren’t any in your area- check out outschool.

Side note: while I understand OPs concern about make up, and do think it can be over used in this context, there is a practical reason to use make it which is that when performing onstage with stage lights you cannot see their sweet little faces without the makeup. Ideally the make up is just the bring forward their features under stage lights that wash them out but I recognize it’s not always used that way. Just an fYI (as someone who works in youth theater!).

 

[georgewaini]

@bofaith Came here to say this, or local ymca. Lots of fun inexpensive classes without as much pressure. I’m not a huge fan of kids activities that take over the whole family’s lives and finances only for them to quit a few years later…

 

[dbaileys]

@bofaith Came here to suggest this, they often will have gymnastics classes too if that’s another thing she may be interested in

 

[ggirl1986]

@bofaith This is what I came to recommend--that or your local parks and rec department or YMCA. And it's usually a class that lasts X weeks and then it's over forever (unless you sign up for the next round).

 

[abnormal2001]

@bofaith Similarly at that age my kids did dance classes at our local Y. Chill, fun, cheap, and no makeup

 

[paraoxymoron]

@bofaith Same recommendation here. I took ballet at the local rec center when I was a kid, and while there was a recital and costumes, it was all really low cost and low key. We mostly danced to Disney songs

This past summer I enrolled my three year old in a ballet camp at a local youth theater because she also was really into Angelina Ballerina. It was the same sort of thing - simple, emphasis on just moving to music, and a no-cost “recital” at the end to Girls Just Want to Have Fun. My kiddo has since moved on to a shark phase, but I’m glad she was was able to have a light hearted, enjoyable experience with dance while she was into it.

 

[simondarok]

@apor2017 There is a big difference between the fantasy and reality of a thing. I did ballet briefly as a tot but not seriously in any way. But honestly? What I would have enjoyed more than classes (paying attention! being quiet! repetition!!) would have been just the chance to wear the cute outfit and flounce around the house to some pretty piano music. I long ago decided that’s what I’d try with my own kid if they took an interest in “ballet”

You could probably also find some simple YouTube tutorials for basic moves.

You’ll know if she really wants more and you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

To be clear, btw, paying attention, practicing, etc, are all great skills to learn but I also feel like there’s less fraught avenues.

 

[piescko]

@simondarok This is great advice. My daughter was really excited about ballet when she turned 4. We signed her up and after a few weeks she was over it. We convinced her to stick with it for one academic year (and she was very excited about getting to do a recital on a stage), but once that was done, she was ready to move onto something else. She probably would have been just as excited to get some tutus and leotards as you suggested lol. Oh well, we gave it a shot.

 

[candiedenise]

@apor2017 Maybe you can look into Isadora Duncan classes. I took them as a child and there's some basis in ballet with but more emphasis on natural movement and expressiveness. They're not super common but hopefully you can find a local class.

 

[james2206]

@candiedenise Today I learned that Isadora and Duncan Quagmire were named after a famous dancer! Thank you for sharing your experience!

 

[kate930]

@apor2017 Maybe other kinds of dance as opposed to ballet? There are some pretty neat dance studios where I am and they dont have the "dance culture".

 

[apor2017]

@kate930 unfortunately I haven't found any dance studios that don't scream DANCE CULTURE EVERY CHILD MUST WEAR COVERGIRL #10 BLUSH IN CANDY PINK FOR THE RECITAL THAT COSTS $350 FOR SOME REASON

 

[polygonon]

@apor2017 I totally get you but I think you are going to have to start calling and actually talking to those dance studios / other moms.

My kid just started "non-competitive" gymnastics that I was recommended through a relative whose kid does "competitive" gymnastics. She told me that while I should avoid their "competitive program" like the plague, she knew a few of the coaches who ran their "community" program that were young, enthusiastic and awesome.

I admit, there is a competitive program that runs concurrently as my daughter's program at the gym that has everything I totally hate:

• Disordered eating and "dance moms".
• Kids in bikini cut leotards constantly picking wedgies, no panties allowed.
• Competitive program consists of an hour long "workout" twice a week, where 6 year olds do nothing but push ups, pull ups, squats and lunges.

But the moms in the "community program" are chill, my kid wears a bodysuit with shorts and panties, they spend time learning basic gymnastic moves, and play games.

 

[briony]

@apor2017 Look for movement classes instead.

 

[seditthis]

@apor2017 wtf? I don’t doubt it (my kids are younger). But… whyyyyyyyy

 

[jeepneytravel]

@apor2017 Have you looked at hip hop dance? I don’t know for sure that it’s cheaper but it seems like the culture ought to be different at least.

 

[javier_is_life]

@apor2017 I think stressing about a recital that occurs once a year is the wrong move. Everyone else will have the blush and lipstick and you can just borrow it while there. I think you are getting very hung up on part of the experience that only occurs one day out of the entire year, and need to step back and reflect on whether one day is really going to be so much of a negative.

 

[bible_follower]

@apor2017 They’re are lots of different kinds of dance studios out there. If you have a ymca, that might be worth checking out for a less intense experience.