Limiting Screens

[fordking91]

@artzmel11 Thank you!
From what I observe, my daughter is more "difficult" and "active" than most. She doesn't play independently, and frankly I don't enjoy playing with preschoolers more than like 30 min/day.

 

[lovedaisies]

@pecosheero I understand routine is really key for autistic/adhd kids so I think that would be a good start. Come up with a consistent routine that you stick to with time allotted for tv worked in. You could also work in daily outings, daily craft or educational activity time, chore time and independent play time. If they know consistently what to expect from each day they will probably be able to cope with it better.

 

[solarkat]

@pecosheero I wonder if the screen time early in the morning is causing the early wake ups... My child is younger but went through an early wake up phase and we worked with a sleep consultant who said don't do anything really rewarding first thing in the morning because they will WANT to and continue to get up early because they are excited to do that thing. She mentioned TV as a common one because once the kid is up that early the parent is so exhausted they put on the TV and then it's a cycle that perpetuates!

 

[cabinmom2012]

@pecosheero If you remove screens, those behaviors he has about needing to be entertained and not playing alone or using toys will change. The screen use is the reason behind that. Three hours per day is way too much. Get rid of it completely, do a detox period with no screens and see his behavior shift. Then discuss how to integrate some tv as a family.

 

[jbfund]

@pecosheero If you ever want to see how much screens are affecting attention spans/how addicted these kids are, read r/teachers. It’s depressing

 

[peter_p]

@jbfund I teach martial arts and the lack of attention span is an absolute nightmare. I can tell within a week which kids get too much screentime.

Older kids are exhausted from staying up late playing games and younger ones can’t stay on task for 5 minutes without direction. The lack of problem solving skills and inability to focus is difficult. Boys age 8-13 who are on tiktok are getting funnelled into some misogynistic bullshit without any parental oversight.

I want to love tech and screens but the kids aren’t doing well and I’m starting to despise it

 

[vusi]

@peter_p I’m not trying to parent shame with my next statement but EIGHT years old on TikTok?! I’m sorry what??? Seems way too young.

 

[soosh8005]

@pecosheero I’m currently battling the play by himself thing with the 5 year old. Really I’ve just had to put the foot down. If I ask him to go play by himself and he throws a fit he gets counted. If he still keeps doing it he gets counted again. And again.
And then I refuse to do anything with him until he goes and plays alone for (x) amount of time.
The first time I did it… man it was a fight, next few times… still a fight but less so.
Last weekend there was still some whining but he did go play for like 30 minutes. Is that a ton of time? No. But it was a win.

This will continue to be the case for us moving forward.
So now weekends is - tv time in the morning while we’re sleeping until we make breakfast. Then it’s a screen break for a bit. Do a workbook, or color, or read. Tablet time. Screen break play by himself. Then it’s a mix of what’s going on that weekend.

I set app limits on Disney and YouTube so he has to play like pbs kids games or watch pbs so that it’s at least somewhat educational after a while.

No screens at least an hour before bed time cus we were having sleep problems.

 

[blakespops]

@pecosheero Our only is 17 months and doesn’t enjoy sitting down for any length of time, so screen time really isn’t a thing for us yet. I read somewhere that to create a natural limit and choice you could put some tokens near the tv that represent 1 episode of a show or a chunk of time like 15 minutes and until the tokens run out they can use them whenever they want and you just refresh them the next day. That puts the control more on the child and they have a visual of how much much screen time is left. Maybe if they only use half they can have a bonus token for the next day or for the weekend? Not sure how that would work with a 7 year old. I intend on using that type of system with mine once he starts wanting to watch tv. Right now all he wants to do is play with the sound bar…

Good luck it’s hard to start limiting screen time, I hope you find a system that works for you.

 

[ashwynalley]

@pecosheero Maybe let him pick a couple of ‘projects’? Help him find a few options. I’m an only child, I’m also autistic and have ADHD I struggled with toys as a kid partly because a lot of toys/games take at least 2 people to enjoy. But what I did love was making things, I had a potters wheel, candle making kits, those braided bracelets, paint by numbers, huge puzzles to frame, I remember making perfume, soaps, chocolates. In the UK we had a TV show called Art Attack which basically gave a tutorial for how to make something cool, I’d spend hours doing those. For me it was about having a task, I find it hard even as an adult to ‘just go do something fun’, I need some kind of motivation or outcome or I will literally just rot scrolling on my phone.

You could sell it as a summer challenge where he can learn/create a cool new thing every week. ADHD brains are hungry brains, when we feel that purpose and drive in our activities we can’t stop.

 

[godgirl13]

@pecosheero i’m not anti screen time at all but i’ve been limiting it to bedtime because it calms him down. i don’t want to take away the enticement of ceiling fan videos before bed lest it make bedtime even worse.

 

[ghahghans]

@pecosheero After realizing how bad screens affected my son’s behavior, we went cold turkey. He’s 7 and essentially gets no screens, unless we’re traveling, or occasionally he’ll watch my husband play a video game. There was a learning curve, but he eventually got used to it and his favorite thing to do now is read books. He is currently being evaluated for ADHD, and he has a hard time playing alone, but I’ll take the clingy behavior over the outbursts he had when he had too much screen time.

 

[abigail7456]

@pecosheero I only have one TV and I don't turn it on. I have an office with a laptop in it and my phone. She doesn't go in my office and my phone is for me.

 

[suz75]

@pecosheero My 4 year old son is also autistic, and I suspect adhd as well. We do no screen time mon-thur unless it is special circumstances. "Unlimited" screen time Fri-sun meaning that if we are not doing anything as a family, or participating a planned activity, or it is nap time, he can watch TV or play video games. But I do not allow him to watch, and whatever he does watch or play has to be approved by me.

 

[wangui40]

@pecosheero My 5 year old is allowed to watch movies and tv with limitations but does not use a tablet as I think they are the downfall of our society. Luckily for us, she’s not interested in it and would rather be outside.

However, I totally feel you on the independence and having to be a playmate all day and I hate it. It is so mentally exhausting.

 

[akarsha]

@pecosheero I'll write from my experience, and some other ideas I have and plan to try out for my 5 y.o. this summer, too.
*the "I'm bored" jar - we created this together, put lots of independent activities on popsicle sticks and she pulls them out if she is bored.
*Switching up the type of screen time if that is the stuck point - my mini actually does a lot of learning through her tablet apps, which I curate most of so that it's a mixture of fun and educational. Or, finding shows that feel more engaged. YouTube has a lot of dance classes, yoga, or other things like that for kids.
*Chores or similar to "earn more" screen time, or having a morning checklist to do before any screen time.
*Tonie Box or similar for songs and stories without a screen. You can get the creative ones and program with your own playlist. This is a huge hit at our house.
*The Imagination/Maker Box - I keep a bin of random doodads (ex: paper towel rolls, shower curtain rings, empty mint container, etc) that are interesting and my kiddo knows she can create something out of them whenever she wants. She also has access to age appropriate craft items, so the imagination is free to run wild.
*Brainstorm a list of "for one day only" things that are typically not allowed but you are willing to permit for a day to promote novelty and exploration. Examples that have been a hit at my home: allowed to use chalk on the wooden fence or brick wall, allowed to take an EPIC bath with no time limit (themes are fun!), allowed to use a whole roll of tape for a project, allowed to sticker one specific area/wall (think inside a closet).

You are doing a GOOD job. You care enough about this to come and ask strangers for advice and insights. Parenting is hard, societal expectations are high, and it sounds like you have some extra special challenges handed to you. You do what works best for you and your family, and I hope you take from these responses only what supports and inspires you.