I want to be pregnant next year but don't know what month to give birth

[joybubble]

At first I wanted a spring baby, but w our living situation currently, it seems like nov-jan seems more ideal becuz my husband travels for work and they give them holiday leave and it's harder to find work during the winter time. So would take advantage of taking leave for 2-3 months.

Another reason I would like it to be around this time is becuz of selfish reasons... I would like to be an hr or 2 away from family one day when we find a house, and 30 min from a town that's not my home town. I'm an introvert and would like to keep family visits to a minimum. I strive better when I just do my own thing. So if I have my baby around the holidays, then that's the perf time to visit family and not have to worry about it most of the yr. My second child I wouldn't mind in the summer time to visit family again, but prob during the holidays too. I've been racking my brains when to get pregnant nxt yr..

What do yall think tho? Are my feelings valid? Does it even matter and it should be my personal opinion? What were yalls experiences having a holiday baby?

Also, me and my husband will be traveling w our newborn-baby time so I won't even get any help from anybody and once we settle down somewhere, they'll prob be a toddler and a kid by that time so I'll know how to do it w just me and my husband. Even if we did raise our kids w family around, everyone's too busy w Work to help, so there's that

Edit: Yes I made sure to be mentally, emotionally and financially stable by the time we have a baby. I've been working on me physically for almost a yr now and I just feel so happy w where I'm at in life. It's been my life dedication since I was a young girl to not get pregnant till I was married and happy w myself all around. I am finally there but trying to get healthy physcially now and saving up more for this baby nxt yr. I've never been so sure i am also 31, I just turned 31 a couple wks ago

 

[razman10]

@joybubble With my first we started trying thinking it would take months to get pregnant and it happened on the first try. So then with my second I thought I could plan the EDD based on how the first one went and it took 6 months to get pregnant. Pick the time in your life that you are ready for a child/pregnancy, not the time you want to be on maternity leave.

 

[pelihat]

@razman10 Ugh, this is me planning our second. Thanks for the reality check lol

 

[razman10]

@pelihat I hope it turns out better for you!! I think part of our difficulty was having a toddler who brings home a new illness from daycare every couple of weeks which meant one of us was sick pretty much constantly. When we finally conceived I was at the start of what would be a horrible 6 week long illness on top of first trimester symptoms

 

[greenrock]

@razman10 Happened to me too kinda. We conceived on cycle 2 the first time - second baby took 6 cycles. We weren’t trying to aim for a specific month or anything, but I didn’t expect it to take so much longer the second time around.

 

[razman10]

@greenrock Came as a big shock to us as well! I actually had to majorly back off my tracking methods because it was doing a number on my mental health. Was not mentally prepared to struggle the second time around (and that’s still within the ‘normal’ amount of time it can take to conceive!) My heart truly goes out to those struggling with infertility

 

[joybubble]

@razman10 Hmmm... maybe I should try around the spring time and just accept if it doesn't work on my favor if it doesn't happen. Thanks!

 

[eadillard123]

@razman10 My parents took two years to conceive me, with two miscarriages first, and then conceived my younger brother on the first try. It’s mostly luck of the draw!

 

[cdburnette]

@joybubble In my antenatal group with my first, there were couples who got pregnant on the first try and those who tried for more than a year. By all means make a plan but don't get too attached to a particular time frame, it will be more painful if things don't happen instantly.

 

[joybubble]

@cdburnette Thanks for the advice, something I didn't expect to happen to me if it didn't work out the first time

 

[cdburnette]

@joybubble I hope it helped, I commented early but I know many others said the same so I hope it doesn't feel like you've been piled on. I was one of the lucky ones to get pregnant first try; I always thought it would take a while because we're both in our thirties, overweight and have health issues. We met a lovely couple at the antenatal class who were younger, slimmer, fitter than us and had no health issues at all. They tried for a year and were just starting to explore fertility treatment when they found out ahead of time was pregnant. Unfortunately there is just no way of knowing how it's going to go until you try. Wishing you the best.

 

[joybubble]

@cdburnette Oh no, it was Def a reality check but I am open enough to accept that it might not happen the first try. Im just trying to gain as much knowledge as possible before trying to conceive nxt yr so I can be prepared. I appreciate all feedbacks!

 

[cdburnette]

@joybubble I would strongly suggest you work on accepting that you may not get pregnant on the first try; either by yourself, with trusted friends or a professional like a therapist. If you are one of the lucky ones who conceive on the first try, all you've done is met your objective and any other outcome will feel like a failure. Even if you do get lucky, you may experience a miscarriage or premature birth which will mess with your timeline, as well as your mental health. TTC, pregnancy and parenthood are inherently unpredictable and those of us who are planners need to find a way to accept this or we may struggle to cope and suffer more than we need to.

 

[joybubble]

@cdburnette I agree! It def opened up my eyes a bit w what yall said. I've always thought ppl that couldn't conceive experience this but apparently, everyone can experience this. At least I took some insight w what yall said and it def will take my mind off of it and just accept whatever month happens. I did take into account that I could have fertility issues and don't know it but that was something I'd go to a gyno and check, and I still plan to but maybe it's best to see if I'm trying atm? Idk

 

[eadillard123]

@joybubble Yeah, there’s really only a 20% chance of conceiving on each try even if you do it perfectly timed. For healthy, normal couples with no fertility issues and where the person with eggs is under 35, a doctor will not be even slightly concerned unless it takes over a year.

 

[wiggo]

@joybubble I'd recommend lurking on the trying to conceive subs so you get a realistic idea of how much control you have over timing. Sure some people get pregnant on accident or very soon after starting to try. But you only have a 1/3 chance in any given month if you hit the correct days. I'd focus on preparing physically, emotionally, and financially for pregnancy and parenthood, rather than dwelling on an aspect you can't count on controlling.

That said, I have a December baby and it's been great so far.

 

[aatif]

@wiggo This and also some babies come pretty early! My son was born almost to the day 3 months early. Which meant we had to stay pretty close to the hospital at all times for a bit, if I had been older I would’ve practically lived at the hospital during those months but I couldn’t drive myself.

Edit: wanted to add that obvs this is not a desired outcome, but it does happen. I’m so worried it’ll happen again with my next that I account for the possibility when I think of timelines.

 

[jesus_is_our_lord]

@wiggo It took us ages and we finally conceived in March. We had a December baby which was the last month I would’ve preferred but it’s amazing. It just adds to the magic that time of year.

It’s very difficult and my decembers are busy, and here I am potentially seeing if I’ll have a January baby which was my second least preferred month, but truly you can’t decide which month you can give birth. Just try when you’re ready

 

[theo3]

@wiggo And of that 1/3 that doesn’t take into account health issues, fertility etc. I remember first reading into it all when I decided I wanted a baby and it was very eye opening how hard it can be to fall pregnant. I was genuinely wondering how so many people have unplanned pregnancies because of the stats I was reading haha. Where I am this is taught poorly in schools and I wish teenagers were better educated on ovulation etc; why did it take me until I was just short of 30 to properly understand it?

 

[joybubble]

@wiggo Yes I made sure to be mentally, emotionally and financially stable by the time we have a baby. I've been working on me physically for almost a yr now and I just feel so happy w where I'm at in life. It's been my life dedication since I was a young girl to not get pregnant till I was married and happy w myself all around. I am finally there but trying to get healthy physcially now and saving up more for this baby nxt yr. I've never been so sure