@bloodboughtchad We just transitioned to the crib at 9 months because my babe was rolling like crazy and either wanting to breast feed constantly (which I can’t physically do) or would roll away and I’d wake her with every tiny movement. It was surprisingly easy until she got sick and now everything is muddled. But I think it’s just important to remember that if what you are doing works for you and your babe and is safe- then that’s what’s important. If it stops working you can come up with a different plan. I never in a million years thought my daughter would transition easily to a crib and she was doing great till she got sick!
@bloodboughtchad I coslept with my baby and ended up doing a floor bed for her. Once I weaned her from nursing at 15mo, I began to leave the room after she was asleep to go and spend time with my partner. She’s now 17mo. Tonight she slept on her own from 8pm-1am which included two slight wake ups that she got herself back to sleep on her own. She sat up at 1am so I came back in to comfort her back down… I could probably go back to my bed but I usually just finish out the night with her. I’m very confident that as time goes on that she will sleep longer and longer stretches before needing me to come into her room. I really do believe that offering comfort as much as they need throughout the night is the best way to make them feel safe and as they get older they’ll understand that and need you less because they’ll know.
Also if it helps I hear moms of older kids (like 4yo-5ish) that did sleep training say that their kids still crawl into their bed… so I don’t think there really is a right or wrong way and I don’t think one sleep solution will necessarily lead to a specific result. It really just depends on the kiddo and their needs.
@bloodboughtchad My son is now 3.5 months old. I transitioned him to his own bed last week, and (knock on wood), it has been going beautifully. But before that, we bedshared every night. It stressed me out. I didn't sleep well. And finally, I had enough. He was super wiggly and noisy one night. And I was exhausted by the time I woke up the next morning.
One thing I've realized, or at least for me personally, is the sleep training stuff is so dependent on the baby. I'm sure some parents benefit from sleep training techniques, but the needs of a baby depend on the baby. I think parents want a one-size-fits-all, which most likely won't happen with a baby. I think when you know you know.
But I don't think you're ruining her. I think you're doing what you need to do to survive the first few months of having a baby. Keep doing what works best for you and your family.
@bloodboughtchad I have been gradually moving my 5 month old from the bed to the crib next to the bed over the last maybe 3 weeks? and it is finally taking. Up until last week she was almost always starting the night in the crib and being brought to the bed when she woke up for her 4am feed, and the last couple of nights she has accepted being put BACK in the crib! Slow and steady I say, but it is possible.
I'm with you; there are things I love about co-sleeping but it was never going to be a long-term solution for me -- I am SO ACHEY all the time because of not moving in my sleep, and I am so sick of waking up and worrying if baby made it through (we do everything right, I can just be a worrier).
@bloodboughtchad We started bed sharing at 4 months when her sleep regression hit hard and she was waking up every 30 minutes and I was going insane. Ended up actually loving it and continued until 7 months when she decided she wanted to sleep on her tummy face down and I was uncomfortable with her doing that on our mattress. The transition actually worked pretty well because she sleeps much better on her tummy, although is still not a good sleeper by any means yet. We did do a lot of partial nights in the crib and partial nights in our bed during the transition. At 9 months now I still bring her into bed when she wakes up at 6 so we can snuggle and I can usually get another hour of sleep out of her. Plus waking up to her little hand touching my face and the biggest smile is the cutest thing! Bed sharing doesn’t have to be the whole night so if you’d still like to do it but want time alone as well, that’s totally an option for you!
@bloodboughtchad Can you do a floor bed? We gave our son his own bed once we moved to a place he could have his own bedroom (at about 1.5 years old) however before that, he and I were sleeping on a floor bed, and even when he had his own room we made sure the bed was big enough for us to share if needed. I would still spend a lot of the night in there because he has always struggled with sleep, but I didn’t always sleep in the C curl and had the option of nursing him to sleep and then sneaking off to the bed my husband and I shared in our room. So while I still was dealing with a toddler waking up multiple times a night, he did have the option for his own space and I had the option to share that with him or give him the opportunity to practice some independence with falling back asleep on his own.
@bloodboughtchad We bedshared with our baby until he was 2 months old. Then we took our bedside crib with us to my MIL and put it next to the sleeper couch. I didn't want to bedshare with the baby on the couch, so we moved him to the crib all the time. And he did sleep there for hours (his first 6.5-hour stretch happend at our MIL's). The improvement even translated to home after we returned.
Then the 4-month sleep regression hit. Baby would not sleep anywhere but right next to me. We could not transfer him to the bedside crib. He woke every hour or after each transfer. I installed blackout curtains. It did not work. We struggled with this for about a month.
Two days ago, when baby turned 5 months, we decided to just put him down for his first stretch of sleep in his own room in the bigger crib and take him in with us again after the first wakeup. He slept 7 hours in his own room during the first night before he woke for the first time. During the second night, he slept 8 hours in his own room.
I think the takeaway here is that sleep does not evolve linearly. Baby was in his own sleep space for some months, then needed to move back in with us and we are currently moving him out again.
@bloodboughtchad I coslept with my first baby on and off for her first year - once she turned one she was in her room and never in our bed again. It was pretty painless too. You can check out the book Bed Timing to figure out when would be the best time to most your baby.
