I f**ed up!

@poppa51 Hey OP, shamefully I might react like this in the moment, just out of embarrassment (a big character flaw I know!) Hold your head high, you were kind and politely raised a safety issue, how they react is their problem.
 
@poppa51 You didn’t mess up, she was just rude. You saw an unsafe situation and tried to do the right thing, she reacted rudely for whatever reason. It may have been her first child, the child may have been dangerously hot, she may have been inexperienced with carriers… you politely tried to advise and do your part, she didn’t take it well.

If we give sincere advice and give it in a proper way, we’ve done our bit. However it’s taken, it doesn’t matter too much…

Obviously I don’t speak on behalf of everyone, but I appreciate when advice is given in a polite way that is not forceful. If you give me advice like “do up her jacket” and start doing it up yourself, I’m more likely to react badly than if you were to say for example “don’t forget to do up her jacket, it’s a little bit cold outside!” and left me to it.
 
@poppa51 I mean you didn't even tell her she was doing it wrong. Just "do it to see her face" seems so mild. Anything that allows me to say thanks and nod and carry on with my life doesn't sound too intrusive to me.

Maybe she has been getting a lot of unsolicited advice and she had no patience for anything resembling that.
 
@poppa51 In my strange opinion, I think it’s ok to give unsolicited advice one time. Especially related to safety.

But honestly, I never minded tips about sleeping, different products, ect. Sometimes I do internally roll my eyes, but I appreciate moms trying to help.
 
@poppa51 I had no idea how to correctly wear my carrier and secretly watched other moms until I figured it out. I would have absolutely appreciated someone clueing me in. You did nothing wrong.
 
@poppa51 People are too sensitive. You didn’t do anything wrong. We should all be appreciative when someone cares enough to give a kind correction, especially when it comes to the safety of our children. Her issue is all ego.
 
@poppa51 I don't think you did anything wrong. she was unnecessarily defensive. If I was doing something incorrectly, I'd want to know. not every one feels that way I guess!
 
@poppa51 Sadly, in the world we live in today, it’s better to keep comments to yourself because of people like her. Honestly, I would have done the same thing. Good for you momma, you did nothing wrong! Just one momma trying to help another.
 
@poppa51 I absolutely feel your struggle! I feel super strongly about not giving out unsolicited advice, especially to strangers but I still think you did the right thing!

As others have said, safety is ultimately #1. The other person may have reacted in anger as a default and then went home, did some research and learned she has been using it wrong and is thinking she wishes she could thank you, there is no way to know!
 
@poppa51 It’s ok to cringe about! At least now you’re less likely to do something like that in the future. Generally when something is dangerous with that kind of stuff one is fully aware. If it had been me I wouldn’t have even responded verbally, just round housed you-hahahaha. But then I’m sure we’d talk and end up friends.

Signed,
Someone who told a mom she wasn’t cutting blue berries small enough
 
@poppa51 My niece is 10 months old and still in a 0-3 onesie. She hasn't reached the 4 month CDC milestones.

Her sister is 41 months old - used a toilet once at 23 months, still in diapers because her parents just don't want to potty train. They just wait until she falls asleep on the couch at 1130 every night instead of doing a bedtime routine.

My SIL would react the same way that mom did. Don't doubt yourself.
 
@poppa51 When in doubt (of how to say something) blame it on the carrier or whatever thing needs to be adjusted. “Oh my gosh, I had one of those dang carriers. They make it so hard to get it right. The baby has to be high enough to kiss their head for it to be safe (so they don’t suffocate!) and I swear I had to adjust mine constantly, but I finally got it, do you want me to help you adjust it really quick? It just needs to be pulled up there… and…”

This is how I’ve called attention to various things which needed to be fixed for safety, then the parents can be flustered but save face and not feel defensive. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited to add: I’m glad you said something, even if they were upset. Better than feeling upset you didn’t say anything and wondering about the baby’s safety. 💙
 
@poppa51 My friend was outward facing her 1 week old and I told her not to do that and she was explaining that the head was supported in some way that I couldn’t see from the photo. I felt like a huge dick and she was already overwhelmed. You do the best you can. It’s hard getting lots of advice but you came from a good place.
 
@poppa51 Lol who gets that angry about unsolicited advice? OP, don’t be insecure about this, you have as much right to give advice as she does to ignore it. You weren’t yelling at her. I wish more people would give me unsolicited advice. Don’t stress.
 
@poppa51 You did the right thing! I have three kids but if someone approached me with baby-wearing advice I’d be grateful. You feel bad because you’re a kind person, but it sounds like this woman was embarrassed and/or unable to take constructive criticism.
 
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