I don’t like my daughter’s friend. And they’re 7

[lo0n]

@sammyred It was cute I never made him call me anything but my first name. I met his dad and became friends but didn't start dating till he was a yr old. We dated 2 yrs and got engaged a yr later we got married. The day of the wedding he was tired and he looked at me and said momma will you do this for me. I thought I was gonna die. My husband not thinking asks are you gonna correct him and I said he doesn't have to call me that but I just married his dad so I kinda am and i will never shame him for having feelings or carrying about something.
After that for the longest time he would explain it to his friends that I was the fake mom n his mom was the real mom it was actually really cute.

 

[lo0n]

@sammyred He's my bubby and co parenting has never been an issue he needs us all to be part of his life. Hurting her only hurts him so I have done things for this women I would never have imagined but I wouldn't take it back. Ive let her sleep in her son's bed with him at our house when she shouldn't have been driving. I've helped and encouraged her through college and losing her fiance to suicide. Everything effects the kids I knew I didn't want that little boy to go anywhere and they were a package deal. Lost my husband four years ago she helped me through that. I still see them both and so does my family.

 

[olly91]

@mikejones56 I will try this. Her parents seem fine but I don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors. We actually hung out more often in the past prior to the pandemic. It is a great reminder to build each other up. Thank you.

 

[yellowrosebutterfly]

@mikejones56 Great, and very kind, perspective. I hope parents of my kids friends do something like this. I had some friends parents who gave me a lot of soft guidance like this and I think it had a big effect on me and my outlook on life.

From a parent perspective, I think this may bring out a lot of teaching moments too. For example with the house, asking why a big house matters to them, talking through why your family is different, etc. Kids just say stuff and don't always realize there is no substance to them.

Finally, it is great for your child to see you engage negative behaviors patiently and positively.

 

[anonymous108723]

@yellowrosebutterfly

Finally, it is great for your child to see you engage negative behaviors patiently and positively.

Doing my best!

 

[nenaev]

@mikejones56 I so totally agree. There is pain there somewhere and need for real caring and acceptance. Those kids still come to me 30 years later and say thanks.

 

[tracyalexa]

@mikejones56 Some braggers brag about actual things! Kids notice differences and if they are surrounded by this kind of attitude, it's exactly the kind of things they will say because they are mirroring behavior.

 

[christopherus]

@mikejones56 This is a common approach for educators at all levels and a great recommendation.

 

[katrina2017]

@olly91 This could be things this little girl is hearing her parents say, or maybe she she is feeling a little jealous about something your daughter has that she doesn’t, loving family? Attention? I don’t know. I would just make sure you talk to your child about the comments.

 

[katrina2017]

@olly91 You are better off dealing with it at your house than trying to eliminate every friend whose behavior you don’t like because there will be more.

When she is at your house you can speak to her about her behavior:

“we don’t open someone else’s birthday presents, how would you like that if someone opened your presents?”

“Yes you have a very nice house, everyone has different homes and different sizes but what is most important is the people that live there and the time you enjoy together”

“Paper plates are so much easier you just throw them away when you are done and then we don’t have to make you guys wash the dishes haha!”

“We listen and respect the rules at our house or you won’t be able to come play here”

You get the idea, the friend will learn how to act at your house at least. They are still young and don’t all have the social skills or etiquette we would like them to have and some kids like bragging. Maybe the parents teach them, maybe they don’t but you can certainly set expectations at your home.

My son’s teenage friends still need reminders of manners and behavior at my house, it doesn’t end but the good thing is, most kids listen when they are told by another parent and learn what you will accept and not accept.

 

[katrina2017]

this here. I"m of the school of 'it takes a village'. If the behaviour doesn't stop, then address it with her parents.

 

[mosherjosh]

@katrina2017 Exactly.

Gently correct the behavior and lead by example when they are in your home.

 

[katrina2017]

Former snotty little kid here that liked bragging and comparison. I grew out of it and I would say that I'm an incredibly thoughtful and empathetic person now.

 

[debunker]

@katrina2017 Would you say you're more thoughtful and empathetic than most other people you know?

 

[christianbella]

@debunker omg

 

[victorious1985]

@debunker The most modest person you'll ever meet!

 

[izu30]

@victorious1985 Modesty is the only thing I’m not good at.

Because I’m great at it.

 

[lostgirlsp]

@debunker

 

[legitjpw]

@debunker We're lucky to have witnessed such humility. It's truly humbling. Prolly the most humbling.