I didn’t negotiate when I should have. Is 8 months too early to ask for a raise?

[omandi111]

When my daughter was born I quit my tech job and stayed home for a year. I was making about 90k previously. My job was completely burning me out and I had a really toxic manager, I was miserable. When I decided to go back to work I was not feeling confident in my value having been out of a job for a year, and when I got offered a role I was excited about at $75k, I accepted on the spot without any negotiation. It was stupid, I know. I have never negotiated my salary and I even planned to on this call but I just crumbled when they offered to me.

My husband is pushing me to ask for a raise at my scheduled compensation review next month. I am subject to this performance review cycle even though it’s only like been 8 months. He says that since I should have negotiated previously and they know this, they will be amenable to giving me the raise and I should ask for my base to be raised by 10k. My manager is awesome but still, I don’t think that’s how this works, the mistake was already made and I can’t undo it, and I don’t have the same leverage as I did when I blew it. I have performed well and I do think that I am beneath market value right now, but that doesn’t mean that this will be well received but the company, and I don’t even know if I can tactfully make the request.

We are now arguing about this as he thinks I’m being too passive and I think he’s expecting me to be more aggressive than is appropriate. It got to the point where we yelled at each other because he says I make nothing, which really offended me. I told him to go fuck himself and if $75k is really “no money” then I’ll just quit and he can support us on his own.

Relationship issue aside, I would appreciate any advice or feedback here on when and how to ask for a raise.

 

[one55]

@omandi111 If you have a scheduled compensation review that is an appropriate time to ask for a raise. You may or may not get it, but no one is going to be offended if you ask for more compensation at a compensation review. I wouldn’t ask for a raise at 8 months if there weren’t a compensation review scheduled, but since there is, it is fine to take advantage of it - otherwise it sounds like you won’t get another chance for another 12 months.

 

[gcooldude]

@omandi111 I wouldn’t find it odd if one of my employees asked for a raise after 8 months. I may or may not be able to give it, but I likely wouldn’t even remember the conversation a month later. I basically expect all my employees to ask for raises during their compensation review. Going into the review I try to have a fair comp set for the incoming year, but if they’re able to provide new information as to why the number is too low or if there’s a non-monetary thing I can do instead I always try to. Sometimes it isn’t up to me and HR or my boss shoots it down, but doesn’t hurt to ask at all!

 

[bayface107]

@omandi111 This is the right time to ask for a market adjustment. If you don’t do it now you’ll need to wait another year.

Not to be cliche, but a man would never ask this question…they would just assume they’re going to get it lol.

 

[trustinghimeverymoment]

@omandi111 Agreed with the other respondents - it's totally fine to ask. Worst they can do is say no! I wouldn't say anything about how you should have negotiated in the first place, that's water under the bridge and they won't care. But you can say "I've proven my value in XYZ way" etc etc.

It's possible the company/your boss knows they kind of lowballed you on their initial offer and were surprised you didn't negotiate. In which case, they might still feel like they're getting a good deal on you even with the raise. So this might be way more low stakes than you think.

 

[dailyjob]

@omandi111 It's absolutely not too early. You're having this meeting for a reason. Absolutely ask. Come prepared and the worse thing they can say is no - and if they do say no, ask for what you need to do or accomplish to get a raise at the next meeting.

 

[mbl92212]

@omandi111 You should definitely ask. They're not going to fire you for it, and the worst they can do is say no. But don't go in with that expectation. You need to prep. You've accomplished these things in your 8 months, market value for your job is this, so you'd like to see your salary raised to this.

Also, since you are below market value, have you shopped around to see what else is out there? I mean, liking your job and your coworkers is worth something, but is it worth $10,000m

 

[abr1234]

@omandi111 Think of your first 8 months as a proving period and now you’d like to review options. My old office would give larger pay raises after the first or second years to adjust to actual performance, especially for young hires that start around the same. The stars will shine. However make sure you didn’t miss any annual reviews that are tied to compensation. At my current and old office we have annual reviews followed by EOY compensation review where next year’s salary and EOY bonuses are given - at the first you advocate for your worth and at the second you could ask for more than what’s offered. Otherwise once everyone’s salaries for the years are set, it’s a lot harder to convince management to let go of more money. Only special circumstances would get pay raises outside of this time frame. If your office is more of a ‘you come to us when you want to discuss a raise’ then you should be good to ask whenever!

 

[jacoblaw]

@omandi111 I think it is worth asking but at a lot of companies the compensation is already locked in when you sit and have that review session. The time to have the conversation is months before. At least that is how it worked at my current and previous company.

 

[racarvalho]

@omandi111 I agree with the others here - ask for the raise. And, I’m not taking your husbands side here as his comment about you “making nothing” was a real dick move and undermines everything else he has to say, but it’s worth it to keep in mind that this aggressive mindset is one of the big reasons why men make more than women. We don’t ask, or we are timid, or we feel uncomfortable, etc. But to our employers, it’s just business, and they are so much more likely to give raises and promotions when asked to do so. Not just because you’re asking right then, but also because it demonstrates 1) you are looking to the future and willing to put in work, and 2) you will likely consider changing companies to get the compensation you want, so if they value you, even if they can’t accommodate the whole raise now, they will always have it in their mind going forward. The fact they are even including you in a compensation review at less than a year tells me they value your work, so get in there and tell them you know your worth!!

 

[isaiah9six]

@omandi111 You should definitely ask!

I'd spend some time thinking about ways you've grown into your role. If you can locate the job description from when you were hired that would help. You should note anywhere you feel you've gone above and beyond the initial job expectations as well. You can say that you accepted a slightly below market value offer because you really wanted to work with their team and while you're very happy with your position and excited to continue growing, you did want to have a discussion about bringing your compensation up to market so that your pay better aligns with your value to the team.

I think you should ask for the $10k raise, even if that's a bit of a stretch. Who knows, maybe you'll get it, but even if you get like $7.5k of it, that's still a win!

 

[omandi111]

@isaiah9six Thank you so much, that is such a great way to frame it and it makes me feel so much more comfortable with the idea!!