I can’t do this

@kattty222i Oh, please hang in there! I promise it gets better. I know you keep hearing that, but believe it. Around the 5/6 week mark until about 8 weeks was the hardest. I remember specifically telling my husband when he was going back to work at 5 weeks that I could not do this for another 4 weeks. I was hysterically crying, dreading the thought of it.

This is so normal. Your baby wanting to sleep on you is SO normal. We’ve all been there. It’s just a season and you’ll have to get through even though right now it’s seems forever away. I’m sure it’s been mentioned but try baby wearing! It was a life saver for us.

I went back to work 3 weeks ago and it was truthfully the hardest day of my life. Oh, what I would do to go back to week 5. I would hold my sweet baby until he got tired of me instead. Hang in there mama, better days are ahead.
 
@kattty222i Hmm, I just wondered because this sounded a lot like my LO before we discovered her CMPA. She'd sleep in your arms, but not on a flat surface because of the pressure on her belly when placed on her back.

But, she was also up crying for a lot of the night in pain from gas.
 
@kattty222i I was in a similar situation at 5 weeks. Not as bad but similar. She grew a ton and was cluster feeding and wouldn't sleep alone. Thankfully she would sleep next to me so it wasn't as extreme. She also grew out of it by 8 weeks and started sleeping normally in her bassinet with the Rockit attachment. Can you hire a doula to help with naps so you can at least get some sleep?

Eta:5-8 weeks was out absolute worst and made me certain I only want one. It has only gotten better since then and I'm up at 5am with my 5 month old on jet lag time. It will get better I promise.
 
@kattty222i If you don't already, follow r/snoolife for tips, tricks, and advice. I have the short legs so he can be within reach next to the bed, leg risers for reflux, and cloth squares to do a batwing swaddle. After a lot of trial and error, we're getting 8+ hour stretches at 8 weeks. We're also on formula so we can "load him up" before bed.

Good luck. I hope you get to rest soon.
 
@kattty222i This exact thing happened with my baby for the first six weeks. Honestly the only thing that helped him was switching from swaddles to sleep sacks. I did everything like you and I truly think it just ended up being up to him to want to sleep there. Keep trying. It’s hard but the consistency helps them.

Are u sure baby is awake when u put them down? Sometimes I thought my baby was awake but it was just active sleep and if I just left him for five mins he put himself back to sleep. I wouldn’t leave him crying but if they’re just making noises leave them for a minute.
 
@kattty222i Just wanted to offer support and say I've been there. My baby was the same way. He is now 4 months old and sleeps great in his crib only waking once or twice a night. There is light at the end of this tunnel and you can do this. You will make it.
Just keep doing everything you're doing. I just kept putting him down over and over and over and it just gradually got better.
Hang in there.
 
@kattty222i I’m so sorry. I had a similar experience when my LO was this age. I could only get 2-3 hours at a time. Usually two or less though. I considered supplementing with formula but tried pumping first. This does take more time though which isn’t ideal. My baby wouldn’t take a bottle so it didn’t end up working. My partner would get off work and I would go to bed at 7 pm and keep waking up when the baby needed to eat. But I would do those short naps until 1-2 am when he went to bed. That helped some so that I would get more hours even if not consecutive.

I think if you can get the baby to take a bottle, you will have the option to sleep longer stretches. For me, it just was not possible. I still only get 3-4 hours at a time which I’ve grown used to.

If you can afford it, maybe your partner can take leave without pay (FMLA if it’s an option) until you get through a few more weeks. Or you can hire help to come while he is at work to help you log more hours.

If I do this again, I think I would save up and budget for a night nurse or something. We couldn’t do either of these things but I wish we could have.

Also FWIW, it’s normal for babies to want to be held to sleep at this point. It took us until 8 weeks or later until my baby would sleep in the bassinet at night. He still only contact naps (11 weeks). I struggled with not being able to get him to sleep on his own when it seems others were able to get their babies to sleep independently at a young age. Your LO will get there. It just takes time 🫶🏼
 
@kattty222i Can you maybe start babywearing for the daytime? At 5 weeks old you are very soon cleared to carry weight, and it would free up your hands and let you take care of yourself. I also have a velcro baby, still prefering contact naps and 6months, but babywearing helped me not lose my sanity. I got out of the house, could snack, drink water, chat with friends, play solitaire and pokemon go... I prefer a mei tai type carrier, but all anatomically approved carriers do the job.
 
@kattty222i I am so sorry. Like the other comments, will you be down to combo feed? Or try nipple shield until your nipples heal. Also, since you bed share, can you have him nap on bed and you also nap with him? Please hang in there, only 3 more weeks (I know now it sounds like eternity) but I promise you it pays off when you see his real smile! Everything will improve, mine was the same as yours but now sleeping in bassinet/crib without crying at 3 months!
 
@kattty222i Sounds like you’ve tried it all.

I feel you… my husband and I are still holding my 11 week old in shifts at night (she has GERDS).
  1. I heard that with newborns what doesn’t work one week may work the next. So as exhausted as you are (and I’m right there with you), keep trying!! It will click at some point.
  2. Can your husband do one shift so that you can get SOME sleep? Like let’s say he holds/takes care of the baby for 3 hours at least (8-11pm?). Maybe you can pump a bottle of milk or formula or just wake to feed him if he needs to be fed during that time. I send my husband on a stroller ride for an hour after work so I can get a little break.

    This quote helps me get through the days:
“The days are long but the years are short!”

You got this mama!
 
@kattty222i You sound like me with my first. I would hold him all night long because the minute he laid flat he would wake up. I remember having a mental breakdown almost every night from it. I found out he had bad reflux and just couldn’t lay flat. As long as his head was at least slightly above his body he slept better and longer. I tried everything you said. He would take supervised naps in the bouncer that had him at a good angle and I bought a bassinet that adjusted so I could have his head above his body. I went to the doctor and they prescribed him some meds for his bad reflux and that helped. He was formula fed and I found a formula that doesn’t exacerbate the reflux which Goat-milk based formula helped a lot too.

Signs of reflux for my son were hiccups, constant spit up, drinking excessively( the sucking reflux feels good on their throat), trouble sleeping and colicky.
 
@gello Can you share what bassinet you bought? My four week old is having a lot of the same issues you mentioned. We have the halo bassinet, but due to the unique bassinet legs it’s tough to prop it up so he doesn’t lay flat.
 
@beccabehappy There might be a cheaper one out there but this is the one I got. It was adjustable on both sides I would just make one side a little higher than the other.

ANGELBLISS Baby Bassinet Bedside Crib with Storage Basket and Wheels, Easy Folding Bed Side Sleeper Adjustable Height Portable Crib for Newborn https://a.co/d/5VF5qOV
 
@kattty222i My husband went back to work and we still split nights in half. Our shifts are 10pm—2:30am and 2:30am—7am. It’s not safe (or fair) for you to take nights all by yourself. Yes, he’s going back to work, but you’re ALSO working (taking care of a baby) and have to stay awake all day too.
 
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