I can’t do this

@kattty222i Have you tried a pacifier? My daughter wanted to hang on my boob for whole days because of her strong need for sucking to calm her down. At first she wouldn't take one and gagged every time but after lots of trying and trying out different ones she loves them. I can put her down and she is just so relaxed while sucking. It also saves me when I take her outside doing grocery shopping for example
 
@kattty222i You are doing absolutely amazing. Month two was the absolute hardest for us, it gets so much easier, hang in!

I second maybe introducing nighttime formula is you're open to it. Talk to your pediatrician re weight gain etc, or maybe do a weighted feed with a lactation consultant. Falling asleep on the breast can be a sign of poor milk transfer, though babies are sleepy at this age so it may not

Also, unless there's an exceptional career choice here (like a surgeon or heavy machinery operator where sleep is a safety issue) dad can still take a night shift while working. It's not safe for you to be so sleep deprived all day.

Also, transferring a sleeping baby is so tricky and frustrating! A few tiny things or nuances that helped us:
  • swaddle if baby likes that (both of mine hated swaddling and went straight to sleep sacks)
  • make sure baby is warm enough, generally one layer more than you would be comfortable in.
  • when transferring, warm up the sheet especially where their head goes.
  • Once they've been asleep for maybe 5 mins in your arms, try putting them down. If they're waking before they hit the mattress, ABORT lol, keep rocking, try again in 2 mins.
*Let them hit the mattress butt first, then slowly lower their head
*If they start to stir, a hand weighted on their chest and a soft shhh will help them to not fully wake up. Sometimes, if needed, moving your hand on their chest side to side in a little slow shimmy will help them go back to sleep.
*No sudden movements of course, super slow removing the arm underneath
*white noise at a low volume works wonders for letting you exit without walking them again

I hope this helps you! You and baby are both learning, give yourself and your baby grace ❤️
 
@kattty222i I have this slightly weighted stuffed animal that you can warm up in the microwave and it tricked my baby into thinking I had my hand on him. It helped tremendously at that age.

Also, take it 5, 10, 20 minutes at a time. You will get through this and you’re doing a great job
 
@cfgirl Thank you for checking in! So much better! We ended up buying a snoo like right after I posted this and I went from hating life to actually enjoying the rest of the newborn stage. He’s sleeping in the big boy crib all night now with 1-3 feeds a night and can put himself to sleep. I know it’s not an affordable option but hot damn i dont know how i would have made it through without it.
 
@kattty222i Thank you for your reply. I’m glad you are doing well. I have a snoo bassinet, but kind of worrying to use it. I feel like the sound way too loud for baby’s little ear, even on a lowest level. Is your baby’s hearing still ok? Sorry for the question
 
@cfgirl His hearing seems to be fine. He responded better to the increase in noise than a lot of movement as he got a little older so I don’t think it bothered him.
 
@kattty222i My advice is to go to your pediatrician and let them know about all those things. Maybe even get a referral to a lactation consultant. The hospital I birthed at offered free lactation services after birth so maybe look into that. Either way the fact he doesn’t want to lay in his crib could be a sign of another issue like reflux or gas. So get your ped’s advice asap.

Also what kind of swaddle are you using? This could also be the issue. My LO has to be snug when we lay him down, if he isn’t wrapped he wakes up within minutes.

Even though our LO was definitely easier to get to sleep in his bassinet and crib,we still have times where after rocking him to sleep in our arms, his eyes immediately pop open as soon as I lay him down and we’d have to start all over again. Now we are better at transitioning him by swaddling him before we rock him to sleep, getting him extra full (I also breastfeed), and now laying him down after he has fallen asleep has become an art for me lol. Make sure you always place their bottom down first and then gently place head. I was told this order is important otherwise they startle easily if you place their whole body all at once or head first.

You got this mama! It’s hard, but we can do this with support! Make sure you ask your husband to help. My husband is an entrepreneur so he didn’t get any time off so a lot of the baby work is on me. But it’s honestly impossible to do this all by ourselves. Even if he is working, he should be taking over one of your night or morning feeds/rocking so you can sleep. One feeding makes such a difference. Also look up “responsive resettling”. It’s a method to soothe baby while they lay in their crib/bassinet
 
@kattty222i pacifier ! can't stress it enough for the boob when you know he is already full.
Mine can get the same way, she won't sleep more than 40mins alone when put down on the bassinet. However, I found a lilntrick that worked for us.
After feeding I lay her on my chest to sleep wrapped in a burrito blanket with a paci if she is still anxious about sucking until she sleeps and i roll her to the side and she may grunt for a second and stay there, i keep close so she smells me and feels me and we both sleep until she's hungry again, give or take 2.5 to 3 hours if nothing wakes us up. During growth spurts i could be waken up by the hour and be like wtf but it subsides
 
@kattty222i This is the only thing that got me through. Make sure baby is fed, changed etc. Put baby down in crib; bassinet whatever. Somewhere safe. Noise machine on or whatever. Go somewhere else. Where you cant hear baby. Earplugs if you need. Set an alarm for 20 min. Sleep. Go see if baby is still crying, try to soothe them, give them paci, check if they pooped etc. Try for 15 min, then go back, sleep 20 min. Repeat until baby sleeps.

Obviously only do this when desperate

You cannot be a good parent when sleep deprived. Do not be ashamed to ask for help. My mother in law took our baby at 1.5 weeks old. You think you wont be able to do it, you'll miss the baby too much, but trust me, the second your head hits the pillow you will sleep. You need it. Put your oxygen mask on first
 
I should also ask my son stayed up for 18 hours once until we realized why he was staying up- our son cannot poop on his own. I'm not kidding. Babies don't all know how to poop and they know crying loosens their sphincter. To help him, every time after he eats we fold his knees into his stomach, apply enough pressure, you wont hurt baby, hold for 10 seconds. Do a belly massage and bicycle kicks, repeat. If this is the issue with your son too, this saved us
 
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