I’m not sure if I truly want another. Some days I’m content with one and other times I want one

[daman777]

My daughter is 16 months and I love being a mom but the tantrums really just are a lot. I can’t imagine going through the whole newborn stage… again. She was colic and it was horrid. She’s the best baby now, sleeps 11-12 hours a night with no issues unless teething, and is just happy. I feel like if I have another it’ll be opposite and I cannot ever fathom sleepless nights 24/7. Also the thought of having to wake up every few hours for a newborn on top of having a toddler sounds very unappealing. I have a sister and not that we’re grown we always hang out, get food together, she’s the person I call when I’m crying/upset and I just know like “at least I have my sister” I just want my daughter to be able to have that life long friend but I just don’t know.

I also get really really overstimulated when my daughter cries and whines, I can’t imagine having two that eventually are just fighting with each other. I like being able to have my peace and quiet when I can get it, and focus on one kid, and I feel like having a baby def took a toll on my relationship but I feel so guilty for saying this.

If I’m also being honest, when I hear other moms are pregnant, I get like…jealous? Or I envy them and I wish I could be pregnant but then I think about the newborn days and they’re so incredibly exhausting like I just don’t think I can do it.

I don’t knowwwwww

 

[psotelo]

@daman777 I have no advice for you I just keep thinking DID I WRITE THIS?!?!

 

[segador]

@psotelo Same!! Loved being preggo. Love having one kid. But also want my kid to be offered the same sibling bonds that are core to who I am as a person. Such a conundrum. But Ive made my peace with it mostly. We are content with our family the way things are. We have a happy healthy lifestyle and our daughter will be blessed with a stable loving family. Who knows what kind of things would change or break in our family with more children. Not their fault of course but it changes everything from mental health, time, money, space, etc.

 

[phaeton]

@psotelo SAME - I am so torn and I'm in my late 30s so I really need to make a decision

 

[faithnazarene615]

@phaeton Same. I’m 38.

 

[voiceinstallation]

@psotelo I thought to myself "well that saved me the bother of writing a post.."

 

[murfattlar]

@voiceinstallation me too

 

[shannw7]

@psotelo Literally same

 

[katrina2017]

@psotelo Haha!

 

[houstonreborn]

@daman777 It sounds like you want no part in raising two children, yet you want to reap a hypothetical future reward of a bonded pair. I understand your feelings completely, but I must say for the love of god please do not have another child based on the bond you have with your sister. I have two siblings, neither of them are my friends or confidants. Imagine how it would feel being the second child who was born with the main intention to be the older child’s plaything, one they might not even get along with. Only have another child because YOU WANT to have the child.

 

[segador]

@houstonreborn Yup this is what I have come to realize as well

 

[kimosabe2019]

@houstonreborn I love my brother. We're close but his work schedule is far too busy to actually talk or get a lot of time with him. I definitely confide in my friends and spouse a lot more. He's probably number 10 or greater down my list. We also didn't get along in our teen years and that was hard for everyone.

As someone who eventually got closer to my brother, I still don't get the sibling bonding argument. My mom and her 2 sisters aren't getting along at all right now and neither are my 3 SILs. It's exhausting and we're happy we don't live close enough to their drama.

 

[bobharms]

@houstonreborn I have 3 siblings, 2 sisters. We get along fine but none of us are best friends and we don’t speak often. They’re okay, I guess, but we just are very different people. I’m happy for people whose siblings become built in best friends but honestly think that’s the exception, not the rule