I’m not doing alright

M

mikeyrobbie

New member
We had a consultation and our baby isn’t doing okay he’s not growing as he should we have another check in two weeks then she will probably be induced.

I’ve managed to help my wife with talking to her but she needs to be in a stress free environment so she can keep an eye on the baby’s movements.

I’m in a hard spiral at the moment in my head all positives are completely overshadowed by the negatives im not sure what this post is going to do but I’m feeling better for managing to put it in to words and getting it out of my head

EDIT

Thank you guys for your kind words you’ve helped me so much I felt like I was drowning and your guys just grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me out
 
@mikeyrobbie You got to talk to someone man, you got some fam or a friend you can speak to?

You got to be there for your wife and to do that you need to be there for yourself. This is heavy stuff but you can get through it.
 
@mikeyrobbie Take a breath and manage what you are able to manage.

Protect your wife by being calm and patient. Handle what is within your ability, and don’t make things overly complicated with the things that are not.

Go into a holding pattern where you are supportive and prepared for whatever outcome may happen. Reach out to family and friends for advice and catharsis, but at home you have to be a rock.

This is temporary. What will happen will happen whether you are breaking down or not. Take a step back from worrying and prioritize needs, and you’ll get through it.

Keep calm and do what you need to do at this moment for your wife and baby. That’s the job.
 
@mikeyrobbie 4 months ago we were told exactly the same thing at 38 weeks. We went ahead with induction and the baby turned out to be small but healthy. 4 months forward he’s a healthy baby with more energy than anything on this earth. Everything will be fine, good luck!!
 
@mikeyrobbie Hang in there, one of the worst parts of kids is not really knowing what is going on. From my experience, nothing is really known until after birth. But surprised they are not trying to induce asap, so be ready for the day anytime now. Also don't be afraid to reach out to your pediatrician or your obgyn yourself just to talk thru it again over the phone.
 
@mikeyrobbie Not knowing the other circumstances, 38 weeks is awesome! I had both my boys induced at 37+4, both are happy and healthy chunks. Sending you and your wife so many hugs!!
 
@mikeyrobbie We went through almost the same thing. My wife was induced at 39 weeks (for other reasons). Baby was born small (2nd percentile). The little guy is now a happy, healthy 2 year old running around with his friends, talking away, with his own interests and ideas. He is still small though.

Hopefully it goes similar for you.
 
@mikeyrobbie If it’s any consolation we went through the exact same thing. No growth noticed between scans. They induced wife just under 3 weeks early. Baby came out healthy, just on the small side. Looking back now with a clear head (if a touch sleep deprived), the early induction is more of a precaution than a definite issue. Obviously every pregnancy is different but hope this helps bring you some slight ease OP.
 
@mikeyrobbie Bro, just hold on.

While you can't fix the baby, you can keep doing everything you can to support your wife. Let that be your focus. This will be an incredibly beneficial skill when your baby arrives. Control what you can control.

Rewire your brain to think in steps. When you focus on the next step, and then the step after - your brain is able to shift energy into what you can do, while not spending as much time worrying about the shit you can't.

Whatever happens, it's you and your wife. Be there for each other. That's what you can do.

Wishing you three the very best.
 
@mikeyrobbie I fucking hate that man. You got something worrisome about your kid and you can't talk to your wife about it because you don't want to qorry her more than she already is.

I'll try to respond if you want to post more. It fucking sucks.
 
@mikeyrobbie How far along are you? Those checks also aren’t 100% accurate. Depending on how your baby is positioned, it could’ve thrown off measurements. It happened to us.

Every baby is different. Just take a deep breath and don’t worry until you have to.

In sure your son will be just fine brother. Babies are a lot stronger than we give them credit for.
 
@jaredlees 38ish weeks it’s just hard as I can’t do much if you was born and in my arms there’s stuff that can be done but with him still in there my hands are tied and all I can do is support my wife
 
@mikeyrobbie We also induced at 38 weeks - Gestational Diabetes. LO is now thriving at almost 5 months. I know it’s hard man, but just trust your son. You can tell him all about it after you’re holding him
 
@mikeyrobbie We’re in the exact same situation, dude. It was the most boring, ordinary pregnancy ever. That was until last week when we went in for a checkup at 34 weeks, and they told us the baby has barely grown over the last month.

We went back in today and the issue hasn’t improved. They said she has low amniotic fluid and they need to investigate more.

All vitals were absolutely fine and she was kicking away, so we’re trying to take the positive and hope for the best.

We’re back in on Friday for more checks and the may need to induce, but they want to keep her in the womb for as long as it’s safe.

Wishing you all the best.
 
@mikeyrobbie Your baby is almost full term. If he actually does have problems, from today's medical technology there's a high chance that can things can be fixed. Hang in there!
 
@mikeyrobbie This is anecdotal but they said my baby was small and I had to have extra scans and he was 8lb. It caused me a lot of stress. However of course there is a chance that your baby is small, I hear so many cases of the measurements being wrong, especially a baby at 38 weeks, you can’t really measure them properly
 
@mikeyrobbie Not that either of these situations mean anything about yours. I’ve had two friends give birth at 7&7.5 months respectively both babies have hit all the time adjusted milestones, and have “normal functioning bodies and minds” one is 8 years old and is impressively intelligent. The other is still young(
 
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