markinsydney
New member
Our lovely, hilarious 3yo has suddenly started saying “F*
How to respond to the F bomb?
- Thread starter markinsydney
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@markinsydney Ignore!!! Absolutely ignore it and be very nonchalant about it. It will lose its excitement
@markinsydney I love that the answer is to ignore them but it would be so hard for me not to die laughing
christianzealot4
New member
@ell3bee Laughing only reinforces the behavior! Fuck was one of my daughter's first words. When she learned it (I think she was around a year old?), she climbed the couch, put her face to the window screen, and yelled "fuck! fuck! fuck!" out the window. My husband and I were crying laughing, which just taught her to do that any time she wanted to make us laugh.
She'll be 5 next week, and she mostly understands that she can't say "grown up words" outside the house, but she still laughs and repeats every time Daddy cusses at a video game or when he's driving... it's definitely a process.
She'll be 5 next week, and she mostly understands that she can't say "grown up words" outside the house, but she still laughs and repeats every time Daddy cusses at a video game or when he's driving... it's definitely a process.
@markinsydney Mine (slightly younger - turning two) picked it up from me 
he was really into it for a good few weeks. Eventually I started telling him it’s a word we only use when we’re really really mad. When he said it I would fake concern and say “uh oh, are you really mad? Because that’s a word we only use when we’re really mad. What are you mad about? Oh, you’re not mad? Well then we should say ‘fun’! ‘Frumpy!’ ‘Fluffy!” Etc.
It pretty much worked. It explains to him why he sometimes hears me saying it, but it doesn’t get him the reaction he’s hoping for. It distracts him a little (“wait, am I mad? How am I feeling?”) and gives him alternative ways to express himself. Very occasionally it will come up again (thanks Fat Controller, or as he’s known in our house “fucking troller”) but usually this heads it off.
he was really into it for a good few weeks. Eventually I started telling him it’s a word we only use when we’re really really mad. When he said it I would fake concern and say “uh oh, are you really mad? Because that’s a word we only use when we’re really mad. What are you mad about? Oh, you’re not mad? Well then we should say ‘fun’! ‘Frumpy!’ ‘Fluffy!” Etc.It pretty much worked. It explains to him why he sometimes hears me saying it, but it doesn’t get him the reaction he’s hoping for. It distracts him a little (“wait, am I mad? How am I feeling?”) and gives him alternative ways to express himself. Very occasionally it will come up again (thanks Fat Controller, or as he’s known in our house “fucking troller”) but usually this heads it off.
providenciaet
New member
@markinsydney We went through this too recently!! Actually there was another post about this not too long ago so I’ll just link to that because it got a lot of discussion: https://reddit.com/r/AttachmentParenting/s/eSkroPrniI. But the tldr is that it lasted about a week for us, tried to ignore as much as possible, and then he was over it.
@markinsydney We had a "fucking god damnit" phase that thankfully was short lived. I blame Daddy's potty mouth. We just explained that we didn't want him saying those words, that they were for grownups to use. He got it pretty quick and the novelty wore off. 
billthecableman
New member
@markinsydney We aren't quite there yet, but we plan to allow swearing in the house, as long as it isn't at us. I swear like a sailor and I plan to teach him that there are certain places we can't swear, like school or in a church etc. But that words are just words
@billthecableman Yes! I’m team “sentence enhancers.” As long as they aren’t aimed at anyone and are used in the comfort of our own home, have at it!
billthecableman
New member
@markinsydney Reminds me of a former boss of mine. He had a potty month and his toddler picked up on it. They were eating dinner one day and his toddler was talking about random things, pushed her plate back, leaned back in her seat and said, “anyway— fuck it.” I always loved that story.
blackmanlov
New member
@markinsydney Perhaps somewhat controversial but swearing can be a healthy expression of anger.
I would focus on teaching them to use it within context (i.e. it's a word we use when we're really angry and it can make some people scared / sad). We should never use it to hurt people and it's best done when we are at home or somewhere mostly private... not school, the store, etc.
You'd be surprised how much nuance a toddler can understand.
I would focus on teaching them to use it within context (i.e. it's a word we use when we're really angry and it can make some people scared / sad). We should never use it to hurt people and it's best done when we are at home or somewhere mostly private... not school, the store, etc.
You'd be surprised how much nuance a toddler can understand.
@markinsydney Apart from ignoring maybe you can also try to change your vocabulary. My sister would say oh fuck that her 2 year old picked it up and even said it within a correct context. So she made the effort to use another phrase. Also, her toddler got over it because she ignored it.
bohamamfpici
New member
@markinsydney I made the mistake of using bad language Infront of my my now 5 year old child , who is very smart and advanced lol,
He did repeat it for a brief time but I always just paused with him and I said "we don't say that'" we don't say those words and mama should not have said that.
And I have done a better job and not saying anything infornt of him.
When someone else does I have stopped any adult and asked to not speak that like that Infront of my child
And guess what, my son is so smart , he has over heard me say that to other people , so now if it happens....my son will go right up to an adult and say ""you are not supposed to say bad words Infront of me""!! Or else I could possibly say such in school and that would be very bad! ---+--- isn't that awesome
And adults, friends , extended family are shocked and feel stupid !
It's so awesome
By the way I am deeply disgusted at the other adults that are trying to teach theyre kids it's ok to say it , in a certain fashion!
Wtf? That is so ghetto!
He did repeat it for a brief time but I always just paused with him and I said "we don't say that'" we don't say those words and mama should not have said that.
And I have done a better job and not saying anything infornt of him.
When someone else does I have stopped any adult and asked to not speak that like that Infront of my child
And guess what, my son is so smart , he has over heard me say that to other people , so now if it happens....my son will go right up to an adult and say ""you are not supposed to say bad words Infront of me""!! Or else I could possibly say such in school and that would be very bad! ---+--- isn't that awesome
And adults, friends , extended family are shocked and feel stupid !
It's so awesome
By the way I am deeply disgusted at the other adults that are trying to teach theyre kids it's ok to say it , in a certain fashion!
Wtf? That is so ghetto!
abidingpatri0t
New member
@markinsydney I have an almost 2 yo who said “shit” a couple times (oops!). What worked for us is not making a big deal out of it and then when he drops something we started saying “OH SUUUUGAR!” And laughing so that has caught on.
katrina2017
New member
@markinsydney I think it depends on your kid. I got away with ignoring it and not reacting for a while and the words disappeared. Then I tried redirecting by loudly saying silly words like “Biscuits!” Or “Cheese and crackers!!” (Stollen from Bluey). But he just woke up one day and could swear like a fish wife, and of course this was the week before he was starting nursery full time. I just explained that some words people don’t like to hear and we don’t say them. Kept consistent and nursery did the same and he’s actually grasped the concept quite well. Now the worst he says is “Poo!” and I can live with that.