How do you stay calm all day?

[ajewelinhiscrown]

I’m the SAHD, my wife works full time, kids are 5.5, 3 and 7M. I love them so much and I’ve been the SAHP for over 3 years now. But they all seem to be trying my patience; my 3 y/o thinks it’s hilarious to not listen to me, my 5 y/o half the time refuses to listen to me, and my 7M old is super sweet but needs to be held most of the time or needs something as infants do, pretty much constantly. With the pandemic and everyone at home 24/7, I see my fuse getting shorter and shorter. How do I fix this?

 

[katrina2017]

@ajewelinhiscrown I don't. What I do is I own my mistakes. I apologize for losing my cool. I discuss with the kids how I could handle it better in the future. I try and find ways to avoid the same situation happening again by streamlining processes. Like when I realized I had yelled at the kids a million times for using their books and dumped out toy bins as stepping stones I bought some plastic stepping stones on Amazon and saved myself a whole bunch of emotional wear and tear.

That and recognizing when I've just had it and making massive allowances for myself to get past the hump rather than burning myself out trying to be perfect all the time. My husband is nearing the end of a 7 week work trip during which time I've been completely on my own with a 3.5y and 1.5y, no daycare, no breaks. Oh, and 1.5y decided that he needed to be potty trained ASAP while daddy was gone so I'm dealing with that too. So some days we don't bother getting dressed. Some days the kids eat cereal for dinner. Some days we watch two movies. Then I have a little more energy to put into being patient and as a bonus the kids think it's a special treat!

 

[tealpearl]

@ajewelinhiscrown Do you get to take any breaks? Self care time? Sometimes you gotta be a human for a little bit instead of just a parent.

 

[katrina2017]

@ajewelinhiscrown Honestly, I lowered my expectations. My expectations of myself and what I could get done in a day, my expectations for my children and how they could behave. An extra 30 minutes of TV is better than yelling.

Identify your triggers. My children are feral animals anytime I try to cook. It’s insanity. I also hate cooking and it’s the one task I can’t seem to get better at with practice. For now, lunch is prepped after bedtime and my husband handles his own dinner. We’re all much happier. Kids aren’t yelled at, food isn’t burnt, husband doesn’t come home to pure chaos.

I hope it get better soon

 

[uniquescreenname]

@ajewelinhiscrown I make everyone have quiet nap time in the afternoon. Even my 4.5 yr old has a rest hour up there and then he has to quietly watch TV until the younger two wake up. It gives me time to sit for a minute and get things done, including working out. Lifting some weights and yoga do wonders for my mental state.

 

[huldah]

@ajewelinhiscrown haha. You’re in my hell! I have 6,4,1. I bought noise canceling headphones for the tantrums and a hip seat for the one that needs to be carried. Cause they’re ducking insane

 

[theparticleperson]

@ajewelinhiscrown you’re doing a good thing by posting here asking for help and being aware of yourself. that’s a great step, and you should be proud of yourself. keep on going, you’ll be fine