How do you even give a f@#k?

K

kpiper

New member
Update: this week has gone to complete shit topped out with a staff trying to lie about his leave and backtracking (fraud investigation). The programs are beyond saving, and more people are quitting that hold my position in other counties. I received an offer for a job where I will be working for Medicaid behavioral health insurance in my county, so I will not be a provider any longer. I’m just negotiating my salary but plan on putting my notice in as of this upcoming Monday. The stress is beginning to affect my milk supply so I’m trying my best to just sit back since everything is out of my control now. My baby is loving daycare and she is just the happiest little girl which is what is getting me through. Thank you to everyone that has been commiserating with me. It was nice to know I’m not alone.

Today was my first day back to work.
My job is overseeing community mental health programs. It was honestly an utter disaster before I left but I gave so many instructions and held so many meetings prior to my leave that it was foolproof. The summers are easy since we work with kids/families- summer is a lot of “ clean up ”type stuff, auditing, admin/paperwork. The biggest issue is staffing. My agency does not pay enough. I don’t get paid enough, no one does, and it’s appalling.
My boss hired two people in my absence, she did not properly onboard them, and did not ask for support from other programs, this resulted in me getting an email from this boss stating one of these employees needs to be terminated immediately. My boss is out this week. You want ME to terminate someone I have never met? And had no say in hiring? What the actual FUCK.

Anyways, I just don’t even give a fuck anymore. The programs are burning to the ground and we don’t have any incentive (MONEY) to even care.

To any other moms in the mental health field with higher degrees and certifications, how do you stay in this after you have a kid? I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at but now I’m stuck.

Luckily my last boss is taking me under her wing and is going to hire me in her program…hopefully soon with a 20k raise. But I’m still worried I’m too far gone from caring.
 
@kpiper Psychologist here. I work for the federal government, and am exploring an officer commission while I’m still young enough to get in. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but federal positions (VA, DoD, IHS), generally pay decently. I mean it’s still working with issues that can be extremely taxing, but there are way more resources than what’s available in your typical community mental health.

Also, our society just vastly undervalues our work and the resources needed to support people’s behavioral and emotional health.

My son was born right in the middle of my PhD program and it was stressful no matter what. Some people love private practice. I like the boundaries of federal service. You may just need a break. You just had a baby. Your frustration is is justified.
 
@keepitsimple144 I would do private but I need my loans forgiven (PSLF). Also have a good friend that’s working as a social worker at the va. I’ve been considering it but I really want to work for something that has a bit more flexibility. My current job is hybrid which is honestly the only good thing about it at this point.
 
@kpiper Are you a social worker or a mental health provider? Because I used to work at a VA, (an extremely toxic one at that, but some are good) the MH pros do a lot of telehealth. The SWs. Not so much. Just curious.
 
@keepitsimple144 For what it's worth, my wife and I (both 38 F) are veterans and get all our medical care through the VA. I haven't had a single in-person mental health appointment in person for years. It's all been telehealth, which I highly prefer. The VA widely allows mental health practitioners to work from home, at least part-time. Plus we are always in need of quality mental health providers.
 
@emilyd Agreed on your last sentence. I don’t think she’s a doctor though. I think she’s a social worker. Just based on her use of the word programs and then talking about kids and families along with that. So, I assumed. I did ask her though. But you’re right. The VA needs help with MH pros. Bad.
 
@sakashoe As far as regular mental health appointments go, I've seen a mix of psychologists, psychiatrists, nurse practitioners, and social workers. Social workers at the masters degree level are typically licensed to provide 1:1 and group therapy so it makes sense to have some on staff. I've done social work as a paraprofessional with an undergrad and that doesn't require a license, but you can't provide 1:1 therapy or group therapy. Jobs like case managers, child protective services, peer supports, and behavioral health technicians are largely paraprofessionals.

The VA is actually the largest employer of social workers in the United States and they've significantly expanded programs that are helmed by social workers, including an OEF/OIF veteran focused program, women's focused programs, and LGBTQ+ programs. I'm thankful for all the support- we've got our old timers to care for as well as a huge wave of OEF/OIF veterans like myself who need care.
 
@emilyd Ahhhh. Good to know. The one I was at only had Drs and DNPs. That would make sense though to have more providers at varying ranges. I’m glad you’re at a good VA. The one where I worked was awful from the top down. I had a friend who did social work and worked with the homeless population and she hated it because they got no support. Not just for employees, but vets as well. I’m happy I moved and found the one I’m at now. Way way way better care.
 
@sakashoe We're nomads so I've gone to so many different VA hospitals and systems, and observed a wide range in standards of care. I was at the Phoenix VA back when they were neck deep in all their bullshit- I was breaking down the patient advocates door several times a month in that hellhole.

IMO the best VA hospitals are those that work in concert with local hospitals, especially teaching hospitals. There's no one more invested in your care than a resident who's still in training. One of the residents at the VA hospital just outside Denver diagnosed me with asthma because she was (thankfully) stubborn. I had atypical symptoms and she refused to let me go without a diagnosis. Asthma meds have significantly improved my overall quality of life.

Funny enough, the very best care I've gotten so far is at the VA satellite clinic in my tiny Maine town. Maine has more trees than people, and the clinic is well-staffed and the opposite of overcrowded. My PCP here helped me unfuck the remaining symptoms of my chronic conditions that were causing me trouble, where every other doctor basically told me to suck it up and ignore it. They caught my wife's gallstones that nobody else thought to look for! These fabulous motherfuckers threw novel treatments at my migraines that actually work! I can never move again 😆
 
@emilyd So, do you have room in Maine for me, my husband and three kids? Because I need that VA. This one is good, but that one surpasses the gods. I’m impressed. What I wouldn’t do to rid myself of daily headaches that have puzzled neurologists from Phoenix, to Anchorage and allllll up and down most of the east coast.
 
@sakashoe Yes ma'am! Maine is beautiful. Surprisingly medium cost of living though, and the housing inventory is low. I work remotely so we can pull it off. If you can deal with living in the sticks, hard winters, lack of convenience services, and are a minimum level of self-sufficient you'll be good.

I still get migraines and daily tension headaches but I'm getting 1 migraine a month instead of 2-3 a week. I'll take it. I'm getting treated with a combination of Botox, Aimovig (a newer injectable migraine med), and sumatriptan as needed. They make sumatriptan in a nasal spray- I had no idea- and that works beautifully.
 
@sakashoe I also did some work with the unhoused population and it's sad at best. There's next to zero resources for people, and a lot of these people did nothing wrong, just fell on hard times. Many of my adult clients were victims of abuse (adult or childhood) and/or had serious mental health issues. It's incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of homelessness, even with significant amounts of assistance. I definitely had some wins in that job, especially when I was able to land a rare spot in supportive housing for one of my clients. But overall, I felt like Sisyphus on the daily.
 
@emilyd Love to hear this. I have a good friend that’s a LCSW at our VA hospital. He’s been trying to recruit me. I am still thinking about it due to the location of the hospital. It’s not off the table. There’s just a few other possible leads I need to look into!
 
@kpiper I’m an LPC and was working as a therapist for five years in a PHP/IOP program before I had my first. I lasted two months after maternity leave before I started looking. I knew it was time to change when I was venting to another therapist mom and she said, “It’s harder to be away from your kid when you don’t feel like what you are doing is meaningful” and I started crying. The un-motivated clients were affecting me more than they ever did before I had my first. I was losing my ability to separate work and home. Luckily, I got to stay with my company by moving into a more behind the scenes role advocating for clients to get more time approved from their insurance company. Been doing that for almost five years now. It’s not exactly fulfilling, but that’s not the chapter of my life right now. It’s a job that pays decent that I’m good at and has flexibility needed for a working parent.

I guess I didn’t answer your question, but I guess I started giving more of a fuck about myself than I had before and for me, that resulted in needing a change.
 
@jtgabq I’ve done the php/iop world as well. I left during the pandemic because it was legit out of control in those programs. It’s so hard to be without my kid doing this stupid job, if I was even making a difference for my staff or our clients I would be so much more satisfied, but it all just feels pointless.
 
@kpiper I’m not back to work yet but I’m terrified I’m not going to be able to get thru the days as I was already very unsatisfied before I went on maternity leave. I’m in the legal field but my work deals with mental health and child welfare. I was constantly disagreeing with the way things were being handled - if no one else could give a damn about the job, why was I caring so much? And that was before I had a kid I’d be leaving all day to do this job and paying $1600/month to be cared for while I was doing it. I’m desperately trying to find a new position that actually gives me some satisfaction because we need both our incomes and I need this job specifically for student loan forgiveness.
 
@emmanuelkagie Yep. I’m there with you. It’s a lot of work but if you have the energy now, get yourself on LinkedIn and indeed and start looking. That way you have an escape plan started. Rage applying on my leave was what helped me believe I could do my current job a little longer, just the prospect of something new…
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top