How do I teach my 7-yr old kid about the "N-word?"

[longing4truth]

@chris73

The hardest part is explaining why he's going to hear the black kids using it but he's still not allowed to.

Surely the hardest part is explaining how white purple used it as an insult for decades and how badly treated black people were (and are) simply because of the colour of their skin?

 

[chris73]

@longing4truth No actually I think that part is relatively easy to understand compared to the concept of language reappropriation. I'm hoping it's possible for people to offer actual suggestions in their comments not just using the thread to re-iterate how woke and non-racist they are or whatever you are trying to insinuate

 

[longing4truth]

@chris73 Simply saying to a kid that you can't use a word to describe people of another colour or creed is easy. It's got nothing to do with me being woke.

 

[finian]

@longing4truth It's a touchy subject for some people, especially when it comes to their children (unfortunately, it shouldn't be IMHO)

 

[saltpackage1234]

@chris73 It is as simple as explaining the complete history of slavery and colonialism! s/

It would be nice if we all could teach our childern about the history of racism without instilling white guilt on them.

 

[chris73]

@saltpackage1234 It really is difficult stuff to make age-appropriate for 1st grade. We live in a 99% black neighborhood, and I have never heard my kids mention anything about the race of their friends or themselves until teachers taught them about it. I am all about schools teaching the truth of american history but I question the age appropriateness of the content sometimes. I don't want them to feel divided from their friends over superficial things like skin color, or guilty over something they never did. I wouldn't want any of my kids taught that they were doomed to be victimized by society either.

 

[tinagomez]

@chris73 You should explain honestly how no one should be saying this word, and technically not even blacks should be using this word either, no race has an entitlement to use a disparaging and racial slur period. The word is full of hate and no usage of it by the black race in a "positive" light the way they try to spin it will change that. It's wrong and if you ask many of the black community it's still hateful. My children have been taught since they entered kindergarten that the word is racist and full of hate and although they'll hear that word in life particular by the black community that it will always be a bad word and should never be spoken.

 

[mia08]

@chris73 There is a difference between the -er and the -a though. Usually when its said with the -er, thats when there’s a problem

 

[chris73]

@mia08 Yes there's a difference, but how do I explain that to a 1st grader who just learned what race even was like a month ago? And I don't want him saying either one of them anyways

 

[mia08]

@chris73 Do they need to know the why at that age? Is it enough just saying those words are bad words? My daughter has a black friend named Cindy. One day she was talking about Cindy and I asked “is that your black friend”, she shushed me and told me not to say that word. She was 6 at the time. My point is they are going to learn regardless of the social do’s and don’t’ from. It sucks that even black has a negative connotation to it though

 

[chris73]

@mia08 It’s weird if she perceived the word “black” as inappropriate, but I also don’t understand the purpose of you mentioning the race of her friend

 

[mia08]

@chris73 That was the easiest way for me to identify who Cindy was and who my daughter was talking about. I would have swapped out ethnicity if Cindy was white, filipino or whatever. But im pretty sure she learned about black at school. They learn all things of bad things there man. Just like how we did, no?

 

[finian]

@chris73 Why would you even attempt to explain this difference you believe there to be? Just give your kid the facts, they are not up for debate but they certainly explain why he shouldn't say that word or any variation of it, at all. Granted it's not an easy conversation to have. If you don't want to have it for whatever reason, just tell him the same thing you tell him about saying "fuck". You're asking how to teach though, not dictate. So teach him

 

[alicenheaven2024]

@mia08 Don't teach them that because if it's a white person saying it there isn't a difference to most black people. Don't get your kids beat up trying to teach them nuance.

 

[mehgyn]

@chris73 I guess your white, you can never explain it the way it should be.

 

[oaktree500]

@chris73 I have a vinyl record player and I play my music around my kids all the time. They never questioned it but one day at their moms house they did. But the kids are smart with social media and kids at school they pick it up fast. I just told them what it meant and why we don’t say it but music can be different. Just be honest.

 

[mike1234]

@chris73 I recommend reading Raising White Kids. Great advice on dealing with this area in young children.

 

[mbo4]

@chris73 It is important to have that conversation with him because you would probably rather him learn about those things with you rather than someone else. Maybe it is just me, but I’ve found that it is just best to have those honest conversations head-on. Sometimes, depending on the topic, it’s an ongoing conversation as the kids continue to mature.

Don’t be afraid to have the conversation, though. Talk about the word enough take it’s mystique (as a bad word) and power away. Explain why it is hurtful and wrong and why it should not be said, regardless of where your 7 year-old hears it or who says it.

 

[alicenheaven2024]

@chris73 Nothing about this conversation will be hard but it will be uncomfortable. I went to high school and was one of a handful of black kids in the school and I actually had these conversations with my friends because I was legimately the first black person they knew well enough to have a touchy conversation with like this. Mind you were were in high school so I don't know how old your son is but the earlier the better. Especially if he's going to be interacting with black kids you both might be uncomfortable but his friend will appreciate you greatly for attempting to teach your son a bit.

 

[karirose]

@chris73 Same as you would any other slur. It’s like a swear word but worse, because it’s directed only at a specific group of people, and it’s never to be used.