Help with sleep!

[danmillward]

Our b+g twins are almost 9 months old. They are growing so fast and its been amazing, except for nights .

When they were 6 months old, we all got a terrible cold, and their amazing sleeping habits all went to the trash chute! Since then, they each wake up 2-3 times a night, sometimes to feed or just to be held. We are trying really hard not to bring them to bed with us, but by 4 am of hourly wake ups, we end up sometimes giving in. About 2-3 nights a week we end up bringing one of them to our bedroom. Lately its just gotten worse! Boy will drink an ounce or 2, only to wake up an hour later for more. Girl will wake and all she wants is to be held. Eventually one will wake the other and it’s divide and conquer time, and one will take one baby to the bedroom while the other tries to cradle the other in their room. It can take literal hours to finally get them both asleep, just for them to wake up an hour later.

We have never wanted to to CIO, but I legit don’t know what to do anymore. I am so tired and its been hell on us. During the day they nap 3 times (9:30 am for 30 min, 12m for 30 min, 3:30pm for 40-60 min). They have 3 meals (solids) but usually only really eat at supper, at 5 pm. They sleep at 7:30 pm and wake up at 6:30am (obviously with all the interruptions).

We are considering separating them, but I want to know what other parents have done. Help me! I am going insane!

 

[kingofthepenguins]

@danmillward Have you tried dropping a nap? I think around that age is about when babies only need two naps, and it can present with nighttime struggles! Hope that helps!

 

[danmillward]

@kingofthepenguins We did, but that was a while ago. We are trying 2 naps today for the first time in about a month and a half. Lets see if it works.

 

[meesemouse]

@danmillward Also, do you use white noise in the bedroom? We have heavy rain playing quite loud Theroux Amazon echo sleep sounds skill, and that’s really helped them to ignore each other when they wake up, which means only 1 of us needs to get up to snuggle

 

[danmillward]

@meesemouse We used to, we are going to try again. They love music more than white noise, we have a Brahams lullaby with wave sounds that works wonders. I forget why we stopped using it….

 

[kaat1623]

@danmillward We kind of went through this after we had covid when our twins were about 6 months or so (I can’t remember the exact age). We had 5 weeks of the 4 month sleep regression- then they started doing 9 hour chunks for a couple of days and then we all had Covid and then their sleep was so awful. We were at the end of our rope. I started doing a couple of things consistently that I believe made a big difference for us.

1) Followed a daily sleep schedule. I’ve been pretty strict about it and only allow us to be flexible with it when we’ve consistently had good sleep. I’ve always followed the schedules from “Twins, Triplets and Quads: Safe Sleep Training” Facebook group. At 9 months your little ones may be ready to drop to 2 naps a day/3 hour wake windows.

2) I offer a bottle before I go to bed around 10:30. I’m hoping to wean us off this feed soon but as soon as I started doing this they stopped waking up hungry at night.

3) I never really wanted to let the babies CIO but I always wait for up to 3-4 minutes to see if they settle back down on their own…I’ve done this for naps and night time sleep. If baby doesn’t settle back down I’ve always gone and picked them up and put them back down and repeat. If the other one woke up while I was settling his brother he usually ended up CIO. We pretty much always attend to their cries but if they are just fussing we usually leave them to fuss it out.

4) Avoiding bringing them into bed with me. When they come into bed we both don’t sleep well- as much as I love the cuddles. We recently were dealing with some awful early morning wake ups and we would bring one into bed with us. I started doing this consistently. Eventually I started letting him fuss in the crib and the wake ups stopped.

 

[danmillward]

@kaat1623 Interesting!!! My girl is the fussy night sleeper, my boy is such a sound sleeper he barely moves. I have gotten up loads of times to check if he is still breathing, his sister moves constantly!

I try to let her fuss it out, but she has started to make noises to sorta call for us, she knows that gets a reaction (when the noises start, we do go because our boy is LOUD when cranky). I’m thinking of separating them in different rooms, but honestly it breaks my heart. We moved them to their nursery at 3 months because it wasn’t working for us in the same room, but at least they had each other. I know its more my issue than theirs, but anyways. Im open to try some stuff so we can make it work