I (f 44) found out that I am pregnant!! To cut the long story short I am now 12 weeks pregnant. Found out a week ago after being unwell for about 2 weeks. Never in my entire life did pregnancy crop my mind. I have 2 children aged 23 and 21 and for about 7 years ago I would say I was keen to have more children but it never happened. As such when I turned 43 I accepted that my child bearing age had passed plus believed I was heading to menopause. So the news has been rather shocking.
Immediate action was termination but been told am too advanced and would need surgery as scan found out I have fibroids and for my safety surgery would need to be in hospital rather than the MSI clinic. This is scheduled provisionally for 20th Sep 2023.
The baby’s father - we have been together on and off 6 years with as being solid since Sep 2022. He has 3 children with 2 other women. 1st child was childhood and 2 other children from a marriage that ended 10 years ago.
He has been very supportive and open to whatever decision I choose. Financially, I am in a much stronger position than him. Also just recently handed notice for my full time job to focus fully on my growing business. Best to note that whilst my business is picking up there are a lot of expenses and would be for a period of time worse off financially without my other job but it’s got to be done in order to reach my goals. I had factored the financial impact but never in my entire life with a baby on board.
My partner says he will help and spoken about financial and practicalities of how if I choose to keep the baby what he feels we could do to improve things including us moving in together to assist. He has also now offered to help me more with my business inorder to increase revenue.
Our relationship has been in my view at times confusing as we fight and don’t talk for a while then reconcile. I believe he has trust issues (in fact he has mentioned this a few times - example, he asked whether the baby was his when I told him am pregnant) based on my previous behaviour when we were on and off.
My worry is I don’t want to expedite moving in etc just for the baby when our relationship also needs work. He has suggested therapy and currently exploring this.
Back onto the pregnancy, I felt bubbles and gentle moves yesterday, this appears to have affected my mood and uncertain whether to terminate the pregnancy. I am overwhelmed, confused, low and at a loss. Any advise very much appreciated. Be as brutal as you can I need honest feedback.
Sorry I said short but had to put things into perspective. Thanks for bearing with me.
Immediate action was termination but been told am too advanced and would need surgery as scan found out I have fibroids and for my safety surgery would need to be in hospital rather than the MSI clinic. This is scheduled provisionally for 20th Sep 2023.
The baby’s father - we have been together on and off 6 years with as being solid since Sep 2022. He has 3 children with 2 other women. 1st child was childhood and 2 other children from a marriage that ended 10 years ago.
He has been very supportive and open to whatever decision I choose. Financially, I am in a much stronger position than him. Also just recently handed notice for my full time job to focus fully on my growing business. Best to note that whilst my business is picking up there are a lot of expenses and would be for a period of time worse off financially without my other job but it’s got to be done in order to reach my goals. I had factored the financial impact but never in my entire life with a baby on board.
My partner says he will help and spoken about financial and practicalities of how if I choose to keep the baby what he feels we could do to improve things including us moving in together to assist. He has also now offered to help me more with my business inorder to increase revenue.
Our relationship has been in my view at times confusing as we fight and don’t talk for a while then reconcile. I believe he has trust issues (in fact he has mentioned this a few times - example, he asked whether the baby was his when I told him am pregnant) based on my previous behaviour when we were on and off.
My worry is I don’t want to expedite moving in etc just for the baby when our relationship also needs work. He has suggested therapy and currently exploring this.
Back onto the pregnancy, I felt bubbles and gentle moves yesterday, this appears to have affected my mood and uncertain whether to terminate the pregnancy. I am overwhelmed, confused, low and at a loss. Any advise very much appreciated. Be as brutal as you can I need honest feedback.
Sorry I said short but had to put things into perspective. Thanks for bearing with me.