Having a sixths baby?

@alex_t One more thing to consider... as eggs age so does the risk of genetic abnormalities (that may or may not be found on prenatal screening). That being said, you still have a far higher likelihood of a healthy, neurotypical baby than having one with special needs... but the somewhat increased risk it is something that can be quantified by a good maternal fetal medicine doc, if you have concerns. I bring this up as a sibling of a special needs brother... I have seen how it changes dynamics and the future of a family. Just something to consider. No guarantees of anything in life, of course.... but factor the “what if’s” into your conversation as well.
 
@alex_t In your position, I doubt I would keep this pregnancy. It is completely up to you, but five kids (four at home) must require a LOT of attention!

I'm sure you've already thought about it, but you might consider permanent sterilization (vasectomy or hysterectomy) from here on out.

Whatever you do, I hope it works out well for your family!!
 
@alex_t Just a FYI about IUDs - an IUD is at least as effective as vasectomy, tubal ligation, etc. (Just passing along information for general knowledge in the future.). Also, yes, for anyone who uses condoms, ALL lubricants should be water-based due to risks with breakdown from oils. (I promise I’m not passing judgement - I feel like there’s a lot of information that needs to be passed on to the public in general that people don’t know until it’s too late.) I don’t have 6 kids (although I have several and would like one more). I completely understand your shock - my middle baby was conceived while on birth control and I was in a state of shock for several days-weeks. Whatever you decide, it will be ok. Take some deep breaths. I am somewhat close to your age, and am still planning on having one more. There are lots of moms/dads who have kids in their 40’s (and some in their 50’s). I had one child when I was in my early 20’s and the others in my mid-late 30’s. Although the sleep deprivation sucks for the first part, I find that I’m a better parent as a (slightly) older adult than I was when I had my first. You’ve got this - whatever you decide to do.
 
@sabstame Thanks! Yes, I found out about the lubricant while trying to understand how I could possibly have become pregnant. But good to know about the IUD. I think that will have to be the way to go!
 
@alex_t I only have 2 children a 3rd on the way. We were 100 percent not planning on a third but things happen. We also contemplated not having the baby but we chose to keep her im currently 20 weeks pregnant with her now. It's stressful as we don't have enough bedrooms and our house needs repairs so we can't just up and move right now, and we just found out my moms cancer has returned and it's progressing quickly so it may be terminal. Stress is overwhelming me right now. But I'm still glad I made my deicision I think it was the best decision for me. I wouldn't judge and no one else should if you decide to not keep the baby. Only you and your family knows what's best for your family and it's no one else's decision but yours. Hard decision for sure but you ll figure out what's right for you.
 
@erikyear1 My heart goes out to you! Sounds like you’re under a lot of stress. I do hope your mom gets better and gets to see your baby.

Thank you for your support. I hope you have support as well.
 
@alex_t I’m one of 7 kids, my mum had the last one at 43 while the rest of us were 18m,17m, 15f, 13f, 10f and 2m.

To be honest, us older ones bloody loved it.
From mums perspective, she found that having the last 2 in her 40s that the biggest difficulty was her energy levels. She said it was amazing how much less energy she had to get down on the floor and play etc with the younger two kids. However, because there were 5 older ones we all kinda did that for her which was a bonus.

In terms of family, I’m fairly certain that the older boys stuck around far more because they wanted to be around the ‘babies’ and as a result now 15 years on we are very tight knit.

My parents slowed their lives down because they had to due to energy levels. I wouldn’t say they have lots of friends but they have a hustling and bustling social life filled with family, there’s seriously an event every weekend that gets celebrated. My parents wouldn’t have it any other way.

My mum enjoyed doing things differently with the younger two now that she was ‘a wise old owl’. She couldn’t give a flying f about what people thought anymore and so she went against the grain on a few things, not as an experiment but to be true to her inner ideals and stuff because she had way more confidence with what she was doing.

Yes life is busy, especially when everyone was in the house, but it was a beautiful hectic ness and I definitely miss it now I have moved out of home. I will strive to replicate the family I have because I loved it.

You’ll do a great job with your new one, congratulations, I’m sure your older kids will dote on their baby !
 
@theearts Thank you for your honest reply. The lack of energy is indeed what we are both afraid of. Also our kids at home aren’t quite so old yet as to be stand ins for us, so to speak. Even if I understand that’s not exactly what you mean ;)
 
@alex_t Just here to say I wouldn’t judge you if your choose to terminate. Your birth control failed and you don’t want anymore kids. If the right decision is to end the pregnancy for you and your family than all power to you!
 
@alex_t JME:

I have 6 with an age gap of 19 years between oldest and youngest. Your energy will be enough. You aren't too old to have a new baby.

I had some doubts myself as I was (as expected) the only pregnant mom at my oldest one's college events - but discovered that #6 was no harder (and actually easier) than having the prior 3 in less than 5 years apart.

I may be biased a bit though since I'm the youngest of 7 kids myself. My mom worried a lot about being an "older mom", but for me growing up, she was just "mom". Our kids love us for who we are just as we love them for who they are. You may not be quite as active or flexible as you were when you had your first - but as older moms we also have the benefit of experience.

Just reflecting yesterday how my oldest had it a lot tougher than my youngest since he was the one I had to "experiment" with to learn how to parent, while with my youngest I already knew the tricks, was so much more confident in myself, knew which battles were worth it, etc.
 
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