Is it a step too far to write your birth plan before you're actually pregnant?
I'd really like to share mine with you and I would like to read other people's should you be willing to share it.
I'm not pregnant and am still technically WTT and looking for new ways to scratch the baby itch!
MY BIRTH PLAN (main aim is to just get us both through delivery in one piece!)
Preferred location: local women's hospital.
Pain relief: I would prefer only gas and air and pethidine. Epidural not ruled out but not to be first choice.
Water birth: to be considered if available. If I give birth in a pool, baby to be brought slowly to the surface. Bikini top to be worn before breastfeeding.
Examinations: minimal vaginal or cervical examinations, nothing that isn't necessary to progressing labour, no checking me routinely just to see how I am doing. Full consent to be given before all examinations or interventions.
Monitoring: I do not wish to be permanently attached to any monitoring equipment unless it is necessary for my own or baby's safety.
Birth partner: my fiance (baby's father). No one else other than medical staff or students to be allowed in delivery room.
Equipment: birth pool and ball if available.
Positions: any position which utilises gravity for second stage. First stage, whatever is comfortable and progresses labour. I would like to remain mobile if safe and possible.
Environment: lights dimmed, fan on in room if warm, own pillows and spare pillowcases, to wear own clothes (not hospital gown). No shouting, even if to encourage. No music or noise other than what is necessary.
Interventions: All reasonable steps to be taken to avoid forceps, ventouse, caesarean section, episiotomy or third and forth degree tears. I will however fully cooperate should any of these be necessary for my own or baby's safety.
After birth and fourth stage: baby to be given to me immediately for skin to skin contact. Only to be taken from me if medically necessary. I am unable to hold baby, fiance is to do this. Fiance to cut the cord and have skin to skin care if he wants. I would like to breastfeed as soon as possible and would like support if I need it. Placenta to be delivered naturally and shown to me before disposal. Delayed cord clamping to be adhered to and myself and fiance to be left alone with baby as soon as possible. Myself and baby to be kept warm under towels. If baby is to be separated me for any reason, fiance is to go with baby.
Should I require a c-section: screen to be brought down when baby is born, baby to be brought to me as soon as possible, if there are any issues then fiance is to stay with baby.
Vitamin K: baby to have this by injection.
Other conditions I have which need to be considered: speech impediment (fiance can help me communicate), chronic migraines and suspected autism.
Other: should everything go to plan, I would like to be discharged with baby no later than 24 hours after delivery. I would be happy for a student to deliver my baby as long as they are fully supervised and a qualified midwife takes over should there be complications.
@pariaman I work in the NICU, so yes but it’s really weird!
If I’m induced and it’s not going anywhere after 12-24 hours, call it and let’s go to the OR. if it’s working we can keep going.
If I’m bad at pushing and you know this isn’t going to happen just tell me. I’ll probably have an epidural which makes people not as good at pushing. The nurses won’t tell you that even when they know. If I’m bad at it let’s try turning the epidural off since it doesn’t work for that part of labor anyway and give that a try.
also no pushing until I’m at +1ish, I don’t wanna push for more than an hour
All the students, all the chaos. I love loud crazy birth rooms.
When I start pushing TURN OFF THE TV! Why does no one do this? And turn the lights on why are we all sitting in the dark, I want to see my baby.
If I’m a c section, no skin to skin in the OR. With the drapes you can do it fine but you can’t actually see the baby so what’s the point.
If baby goes to NICU dad stays with me. Stay out of their damn way, stop asking questions and let them get the kid settled. He doesn’t need to watch that and be traumatized when baby won’t notice a lack of his presence. I however will very much notice!
Formula supplement right away, I’m not fucking around with a low blood sugar or jaundiced baby because some asshole thought that separating babies and moms was better
for breastfeeding than formula supplement. This one goes out to my moms with kids in the unit on IV fluids because they don’t want to supplement. And all the kids we admit for sugars just to give them a bottle and send them back.
No baby friendly hospitals, I want a nursery and sleep.
If the baby is gross then bath asap. If they’re a clean kid then wait 48 hours please. The nurses will know what I mean.
@lysak This was really interesting to read and has made me rethink a lot of things.
Can I ask what you mean by baby being gross? You mean covered in poop?
I thought I would clarify why I want the lights dimmed. I am suspected autistic with sensory issues and bright lights agitate me at the best of times. For me the choice between lights dimmed or on full would be the difference between giving birth in a room which is a comfortable temperature or giving birth in a walk-in freezer.
@pariaman Sure, some kids poop, which is usually gross. But I’m obviously pretty risk averse with my baby, so would give up my birth plan immediately if they showed signs of stress like pooping. Some kids just come out with blood and cheese and clots and all the nasty on them. Some kids come out squeaky clean and you can’t even tell once we towel them off. Random people probably wouldn’t get it, but every obstetric related nurse I’ve talked to has right away.
And I get the lights dim thing from an intellectual perspective, but for me it isn’t necessary. I’m ADHD so overstimulation is my happy place. Let’s all just be able to see. Once I attended an attempted natural birth for twins, which happens in the OR because it’s so risky and we’re probably going to section baby B. Which of course we did and it was very emergent and when the OB walked in and flipped the lights it was very alarming!
Honestly the plan is get baby out safe, and try not to wreck myself doing it
I should add, lots of monitoring and cervical checks! I spend the majority of my workday staring and their little heartbeats on monitors, unmonitored babies freak me out. And I wanna know that we’re making progress. Let me chill if I can but some people go 12+ hours with no checks? ARE WE GETTING ANYWHERE???? I NEED TO KNOW!
@pariaman I don't think it's too far. This is going to be a big medical event and I think it is important to be as knowledgeable as possible (if that is what you want) before it happens. Making sure your husband or birthing support knows too. You can't advocate for yourself if you don't know what you want!
I haven't planned mine as detailed as yours but it looks like we have lots of similar ideas. I've also already started making my birth playlist because I feel like listening to my favourite songs and empowering songs would help me! My biggest one is I do not want ANYONE telling me when to push or counting my pushes. I want a quiet, peaceful time where I can be fully in tune with my body and push when I feel the urge to (obviously if there are any medical issues where baby needs to come out asap that would change). I refuse to feel rushed if there is no medical need just so the doctors and nurses can be done with my care. I also would love a homebirth but that scares me in case anything goes wrong, I would look more into it when I'm actually pregnant depending on my risk category.
@adiannon Yes that it is a very good point and something I may add to mine. No forced pushing, no rushing unless it is medically necessary for baby to come out quickly.
@pariaman This is a great birth plan! It makes me want to write mine down. I already know what I want, I just need to put it into words, and no I don’t think it’s a step too far at all; you can always go back and edit stuff based on new things you learn or on how you feel during your pregnancy, etc! It’s a big, serious event with so many decisions, so it only feels right to get ready in advance. There’s a lot to think about! Plus, I always tell myself that my pregnant self will really enjoy having less research to do and less stuff to think/stress about, so I never really feel like I’m overdoing it; I’m just helping my future self out
@pariaman Definitely have already started thinking about it, though mine is not as in depth as yours!
My ultimate goal for birth is whatever safely gets me and baby home and reduces the healing time. I live in a pretty progressive area where hospitals practice baby-centered care (nurse midwives, alternative birthing position options, delayed cord cutting etc) so I plan to give birth (mostly) unmedicated, in a hospital with a nurse midwife. If all goes well, great, but if things take a turn then I have a team of medical professionals ready to act asap. My mom had a tough labor with both me and my brother, and there’s been a study showing that mixed white and Asian couples with an Asian birthing parent tend to have higher rates of C-section so I’m just prepared for medical intervention if necessary.
Assuming all goes well though I’d like to: labor in water, laughing gas, no epidural so I can walk around (but I reserve the right to change my mind) push squatting/any position where gravity helps out, skin to skin right after. If any fatal complications arise my husband’s in charge, and we’ve agreed that we would save me over the baby.
@pariaman That's a very detailed plan! I've not considered it in such detail, but I have thought about what I don't want. 1 is I don't want forceps anywhere near me. I work for a pelvic floor physiotherapist and she is convinced that they should be banned for how much damage they cause.
@cbonn103 I'd be tempted to ask to go straight to c section as well, if they couldnt use the ventouse. I've heard stories. Although I'm sure someone will say opposite and that a c section is riskier or that they are fine.
@pariaman It definitely has its risks but they seem a bit more controlled. The damage that forceps can do to your pelvic floor, and anal sphincters is extreme.
@pariaman I have a birth plan but it’s more like: have baby and make sure we are both healthy when it’s over.
I don’t want to go too in depth now because I don’t know what pregnancy will hold for me, will I be high risk? Will the baby be breach? Will I be able to get a midwife or will an OB be necessary? This is all stuff I will plan once I am further along in pregnancy.
@pariaman Your birth plan is so in depth, and gives me a lot to think about!
We plan to start trying this month, but toured and decided on a birthing center at the beginning of the year, so you’re definitely not alone in getting your plans in place before even TTC.
Along with the birthing center, my preference is to have a water birth with a midwife and a doula. I plan to bring my exercise ball so that I have it for support while laboring. I’d want to be in a lowly-lit room with chill music playing (I’ll probably put together a playlist as I get closer). I think I want my water birth photographed and already know who I’d ask to take care of that. The birthing center we chose is epidural-free, encourages skin-to-skin after birth with both parents, and allows you to go home after proper checks of mom and baby so I know that will all be covered. I’m considering having the placenta encapsulated after birth, so I would just need to make sure staff is aware of that.
@pariaman I am so impressed by this detail, definitely makes me want to write mine out ASAP despite being years from giving birth!! I have already written out a lot of detailed notes about what I want/don’t want but I’m going to use this as inspo for a more detailed and clear list - thank you for sharing, you guys are to totally my people!
@dichthuatsaigon Just curiosity but I suppose I could always just look at some pictures of one. It was just a silly add on I thought of after a reading another birth plan. I don't want to sit and examine it, just have a quick peek.
@pariaman Nope! I attend births near daily and at this point I’m fine so long as I’m at home minding my own business with my midwife. I’m more concerned about ensuring my midwife and I are on the same page. I interviewed a few a while ago though during my preconception rounds!
