$h!tting on other people's happiness

C

concretecamper

New member
I recently posted (elsewhere and from a different account for privacy reasons) a concern I had about our holidays plans with our 7mo coexisting with older and full of energy kids. In order to explain my concern, I mentioned how my 7mo sleeps through the night, takes long naps and can play alone, so far.

Man, were some of the comments toxic! Along the lines of: your precious angel will not be precious once he's a toddler, [fudge] you for complaining about other people's kids, your kid will also run around like a demon one day, your friends will hate your baby once he's older...

Parents of Reddit, I know it is not the same for everyone. I know kids change. I know I am lucky - so far. But for [fudge's] sake, let happy parents enjoy their happiness! It might not last long! They may have just come out of a rough patch! Be kind..
 
@scottishservant Same except mine is six. Always been so kind and polite. Never a wild screaming banshee. Just going to brag real quick sorry, but she got student of the month this month! She’s always been this way. It’s just in her nature.
 
@pako Thats awesome! Go ahead and be a proud momma! No apologies needed for that!

Mine is energetic. She's almost constantly on the move. But when we go out we always get compliments about her manners and how well behaved she is.
 
@concretecamper This is what the other parents read: my 7 month old is perfect and chilled. I'm worried about how several other very unchilled and rambunctious children might negatively impact my baby during our holiday.

I mean I am not entirely surprised you got a negative reaction. If you just talked about your own perfect kid without positioning it against other people's children I would really sympathise. We should be able to talk about the good stuff. But I think it's your framing of it being an issue for your kid to be around toddlers as if they would be some kind of negative impact that probably made other parents feel judged and so they lashed out.
 
@elimatt Yeah the paraphrasing and lack of detail about both the original post and the responses make me suspicious that we aren’t really getting the full picture. Plus the admission in the comments that most of the comments were supportive shows that were already not getting an accurate picture of what went down. It is the nature of the internet, particularly a consequence free anonymous platform like reddit, that there will be people that will be arseholes. And again, OP could have chosen to focus on the majority of parents that were supportive or at the bare minimum mentioned that they existed.

I had an extremely light sleeping baby (as in he could be woken by a small noise 3 rooms away, through multiple closed doors) who is now a sweet but very high energy toddler. So I’ve been on both sides of this. Unfortunately it’s everyone’s holiday and when my son was a baby I either wouldn’t have gone, stayed somewhere else or the few times we were in situations like this I would either go for a drive or a pram walk to get the nap in. And I’ve always joked that the second kid will just have to deal with more noise. Of course you can have some boundaries (like don’t run and scream right outside baby’s room) but most of it is out of your control.
 
@elimatt I mean... The question was rather practical: loud environment wakes kid up - to worry or not to worry. Why people read this as boasting or criticism for their kids is beyond me.
 
@concretecamper If that is what you wrote then idk know why they lashed out. I'm only going off your description in the post where it was much closer to my description (worrying about how your kid (a perfect sleeper btw) would coexist with rambunctious kids). I was only judging it from what I read.
 
@concretecamper I mean, it’s kind of the nature of posting on Reddit that some people are going to disagree with you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That doesn’t mean they are “shitting on your happiness”. That seems like a massive oversimplification.
 
@concretecamper Were those the majority of comments or just a few, with most trying to be helpful? There's always a few jerks out there. Also hard to tell without knowing what you actually posted.
 
@concretecamper Absolutely one of my biggest pet peeves since pregnancy. Also it's making a lot of assumptions and stereotypes about your kid. Like they're people too and you can't just be like they WILL be xyz or do xyz, they can surprise you! Of course many experiences are pretty typical and common (like a kid throwing a tantrum in store for toy/candy) but you could escape it entirely or they could do it maybe here or there but nowhere near it being a big issue. I was a kid that never once did that growing up. I was great to shop with. I got through the entire newborn stage and my baby cried I'm not even kidding you, like 3 times and not for very long at all. It does happen, so let people have some hope or not immediately doom themselves by already deciding how it's gonna be. It's not fair to the kid that you don't even give them a chance to try to be good or may assume their motives or their feelings based on what other kids do.

They decide for you how you feel about it or will feel and that pisses me off. Like I had someone telling me about how much I was going to hate all of LO's noisy toys and shows. I don't get bothered by stuff like that. I just don't. I don't mind if a toy plays the same little tune over and over. I said this and was given this "yeah okaaaaay, you say that now" look as if I didn't know myself? Like not everyone is annoyed by the same things and you can't tell me what I'll be annoyed by. That person just seemed to hate everything kid related (yet wants them). Even when I do have a rough time (I mentioned my baby didn't cry during the newborn stage but she whines 24/7 now), I'm not a negative nancy like that. Let me continue being positive anyways. Just say "I felt this when I had mine" (though this person's experience was with little siblings)

Either way, If you wanna share your experience, even if it's negative, go ahead, but there's absolutely no reason to be wording it like "you'll hate/you will feel/ you won't want to/ just wait it SUCKS" just speak about yourself "I feel/I felt/my experience was"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top