Forced to wean off breastfeeding

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bethelight

New member
If this has happened to you can you let me know how you got through it because I am so depressed right now. My daughter is 9m we just finished mediation today and came up with a parenting plan. Anyways hes going to start trying overnights in August. And since he will be getting her in the morning and she's sleeping over I won't get her till the evening the next day which means she will be gone 2 days without me at 1yr and 5 months old. Shes been with me most if not all of the time because he doesn't ask to see her very much. Anyways I didn't notice it till I got home and now I'm realizing it will probably cause her to wean earlier than she would have. She is starting full days at her dads house in April right after her birthday. Week A: 2 days, Week B: 2 days, and on repeat. So 2, 3 2, 3 etc. But im just getting really depressed because I love breastfeeding its so special and I always had the idea in my head we would go till she stopped naturally but now its almost being forced. I'm a wreck:/ I know there is worse situations out there and I'm lucky to have had her all to myself till now but I can't help feeling sad.
 
@bethelight Yes, I was forced to wean off breastfeeding. It was incredibly depressing because I cherished that bond. Even though I could still breastfeed her on the days when she was with me, she lost interest once she started doing overnights with her dad (16 months old)
 
@stmarien I'm sorry ❤ I've came to the realization its a really common sacrifice mothers have to make when co-parenting but its still very heart wrenching. I'm trying not to think about it too much and just cherish the time I have with nursing her
 
@bethelight Ugh my heart aches for you girl, I've been in this exact situation. I feel for you. You got this!! That mama daughter bond is unbreakable, remember that!!
 
@stmarien Well for me the mother is trying to wean, mainly I feel cause she thinks bottle feeding is all a hassle.

My baby son gets excited and loves bottle feeds, playing with the fabric of my shirt or the dangly bits on my winter hoodie.

It's sad I missed so many bottle feeds cause of my selfish ex.
 
@bethelight For what it’s worth, my daughter started overnights at like 15 months of age and it made her want to nurse even more because she was so attached to me. She ended up nursing for almost three years despite multiple nights in a row with her dad. I was worried about early weaning, too! And it ended up going on for way longer than I wanted lol
 
@bethelight Well for one I do not get the whole baby can't be away from mother. Seeing the Dad is just as important no matter how much you like or dislike him and the age of the baby. They can be bottle-fed. I got Mediation to get me a day and then overnights for my son around 5/6 months and he handled it fine, his reaction to seeing Daddy in the morning instead of Mummy was adorable, gave me the biggest smile, wiggling and raspberries ever.

My ex cut bottles and never told me. I had to figure it out on my own which was extremely difficult for me and distressing for my son.

You're co-parenting, it has nothing to do with how either of you feel. Act like a business relationship ship, you both have the shared job to raise the kid.

So communicate.
 
@kfordiii We are really good friends and communicate really well. This post was specifically towards women and how they emotionally handled breastfeeding being weaned off because of time away from the baby and not naturally. Of course seeing her dad is just as important and I've made that very clear with him. Doesn't mean it hurts any less to have your baby stop breastfeeding because of time away from you and not because they naturally wanted to stop. Also you can act all business-like as much as you want but its still your baby being away from you and its going to be hard no matter what. Emotionally separating yourself from that and treating it like business does nothing for anybody. Her dad doesn't know I feel this way and he never will. It was more personal than that and something I'm dealing with in my own time.
 
@bethelight If your babes is into breastfeeding, like, I wouldn't worry about it. They may end up wanting to nurse more on your time, they'll miss it and the bond. My daughter started overnights at dads house at 12 months and for 28 hours. Breastfeeding continued to be consistent as always when she was with me, nothing really changed. I felt similarly to you, at the time, like, I would have to force discontinuation so that she'd be comfortable at dad's, but it didn't matter. Your kid won't be able to nurse and that sucks for the kid, but I'm sure dad will find his own ways to comfort and it will be okay. If I were you and only 9mos into breastfeeding, I'd definitely pump(if you're able) when your baby isn't with you because that will help keep your supply up and ready for their return to your house. You got this, mama!
 
@stmarien This makes no sense to me, lol. My son is still breastfeeding and we are about 2 years in. He's not breastfeeding for nutrition, he's breastfeeding for connection and regulation. Not to mention, I don't even think I'd respond to a pump now, my breasts are like socks (thanks breastfeeding lol).
 
@ianwithers It wasn't a judge but thats what I first said in mediation. I was pretty adamant about it. But he would only accept my terms and the days I picked if I started overnights at some point. If we had gone to court he absolutely would've won 50/50. But I kept saying that I wanted to wait till she weaned and they said I needed to give a date. I folded honestly and I shouldn't have I was just really stressed and didn't want to have to go to court. I mean me and the father are on pretty good terms. By the time August comes around I could talk to him about that if she hasn't weaned already. Shes starting full days there in April and he gets her 2 days in a row each week so she may just wean before because of that
 
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