For the parents whose toddlers went through a car seat refusal phase, how did you support them through that?

[thestarside]

Currently 2yo LO is terrified of getting into the car. As soon as we mention we’re going somewhere it’s “no bye bye” panic mode, and what seems like a pretty serious fight/flight response. We can get them in the car if we absolutely have to - but it’s not pleasant for anybody and I think we should really only do it right now for mandatory appointments for him. w We did it on Christmas Day and it was fine but other than that it’s been an absolute struggle for the past two weeks.

There haven’t been in any incidents in the car but it might’ve started on a local fun Christmas train activity to go see Santa. They cried the entire time, what seems like claustrophobia.

Any suggestions or tips to help us get in the car during this time? The cabin fever is real. Also wondering for those who went through this how long did it last?

 

[godsendwoman06]

@thestarside I did basically exposure therapy and my 2 yo has absolutely no trouble with the car seat anymore! Take the car seat out of the car and place it (so it won't tip and hurt/scare them) in the house. Let them climb in and out as they please. Then when they seem comfortable, put the straps on when they climb in. Let them out as soon as they object. Over a few days, escalate to buckling in always letting them out as soon as they want it. Once that seems good, do the same in the car without any plans to go anywhere. Next time you drive anywhere plan to take lots of time and pull over wherever they get upset and you can't calm them with a toy or singing or something. Eventually they'll trust that they aren't permanently stuck and will trust you to get them out if they really feel they need it.

 

[thestarside]

@godsendwoman06 This worked !!! Bless you @godsendwoman06 ! We brought the car seat into the living room and set it like it was just another chair. After a day or two he started sitting in it, then after another few days we tried the car again. He was upset, but quickly realized it’s the same chair as inside, and calmed down on his own. Since then, no problemo!

 

[godsendwoman06]

@thestarside Thank you for letting me know! I'm really glad it worked and your little one is happier for it .

 

[starsilver117]

@thestarside Same over here. It’s the straps for our daughter („too tight too tight“) and it started around 2 years and is still going on with 2,5 years. I have no ideas or advices just solidarity!

 

[dhernandez]

@starsilver117 Honestly I don't know if what I did was "right" but when he went through a too tight phase I would go too tight to start then "oops mommy went to tight" and loosen it to a peoper fit. Then a couple days of that "I'm goung to make sure I don't go too tight today" and like it was magically better.

 

[maddox]

@dhernandez I don't see anything wrong with that, that's clever.

 

[starsilver117]

@dhernandez We tried that. She’d scream „too tight“ even if it’s very loose.

 

[dhernandez]

@starsilver117 I"m sorry that sounds really stressful

 

[thestarside]

@starsilver117 Do you go places still?

 

[starsilver117]

@thestarside I avoid it. But she’s also doing it in the bike trailer but not as bad. I’m in Europe and in one of the biggest cities so we don’t have to use the car in our daily live.

 

[thestarside]

@starsilver117 Solidarity your way too!

 

[leahfeamw]

@thestarside My son went through this phase when he hit 13 months. He haaaated the straps. We're talking screaming, crying, and thrashing around. It's really rough.

Do you know where their reaction is coming from? For my son, we eventually figured out that a lot of it was from him feeling out of control and so a lot of our solutions focused on giving him that feeling of control back.

 

[nobito]

@leahfeamw Which was?

 

[katrina2017]

@thestarside Let her try to do the clasps herself and get in it herself

 

[plains]

@thestarside We solved this by having one parent in the backseat with baby. Other parent up front driving.

 

[juliedowntherabbithole]

@thestarside Solidarity and I’m sorry my 16 month old has always been iffy about the car seat, but recently really freaks once we try to put her in and tries to like contort her body and gets so upset about being strapped in many may shame me for this, but I just give her my phone w Miss Rachel on and she’s happy as a clam
Judge all you want lol but it works for us right now, I can’t bear her screaming crying and right now that’s not a struggle that’s important to me, she is w myself or my husband all day every day and literally does not have screen time at home, so the car with a nice educational program (which has 100% helped her learn several new words!! ) is worth the non-screaming car ride

If the ride is like under 15 min we avoid the phone use and I’ll sit in the back w her but that’s not always an option

Sending love!!

 

[tasha93]

@thestarside Prob not the best solution, but we got a cheap Amazon fire tablet and let our toddler watch videos on the tablet while in the car

 

[brione]

@thestarside If you think LO is worried about getting left somewhere, or you guys leaving without them - definitely reassure that fear! Sometimes my guy just needs to know what happening and that we're all going together and then he's fine. Did you take them somewhere recently where you didn't all stay together? You could also get a box of special toys (or random objects, we used a box of watches destined for the thrift store) and ask if they want to pick out an item from the box to bring in the car. My guy would get really excited about picking out a watch! We also have a special treat (Annie's bunny cookies, sigh) that he only gets in the car so that makes going places a little more fun. I'm not sure any of this will be enough to turn around your child's fear but maybe a little positivity will make it less scary?

 

[mackied]

@thestarside We usually planned car trips around when she would nap. We would also offer treats for sitting and getting buckled. The “phase” has lasted almost three years now. Godspeed