Feeling Hopeless - transition to formula help?

[monikahortons]

Hi! My son has been in the NICU for a week after being born via emergency c-section at 37 weeks. I’ve been pumping and have made good progress, but I just hate it. Baby is really refusing breastfeeding and to be honest I was on the fence about it anyway.

My question is logistical— if I pump while he’s in the NICU— about 2 weeks— and then switch to formula, how do I actually do it? Is it just a drop a pump a day situation? I want to ask his pediatrician, but they won’t see me until he’s out of the NICU. Would love to know what worked for y’all here.

And would I be better served starting now and letting them wean him off while in NICU care?

And is this all a big mistake and I should keep going? My emotions right now are so chaotic. Hopeful in the morning and dark by the time the end of the day rolls around.

Thanks for any advice. Y’all are superheroes. I’m so worn out after only a week.

 

[sleeptastic]

@monikahortons If you want to switch to Formula, let them do the transition in NICU. Talk to the care team about donating your milk instead of feeding it to him, then talk to your OB about how to do the draw down from pumping so you don't get mastitis or really painful boobs. Drying up the milk is going to be uncomfortable AF but its manageable.

Fed is best, if pumping milk is interfering with your bonding time then switch to formula and live your best life. Don't let other people make you feel less than for doing whats best for you and baby.

 

[monikahortons]

@sleeptastic Thank you so much for this. It feels so clear when you lay it out and so muddy otherwise!

 

[katrina2017]

@sleeptastic It seems daunting but I’m sure it will be no big deal
to change over. Your care team will help you figure out the best way to do it.

 

[leeabc]

@monikahortons There is nothing wrong with wanting to stop breastfeeding. And you aren’t doing anything wrong considering it.

Ask to speak to lactation in the unit and come up with a plan to start de-transitioning from pumping to make sure you don’t suffer from Engorgement or galactocele

Also, have the nicu team introduce formula to make sure your baby tolerates it. So you can go home feeling confident in his ability to take formula

 

[siege777]

@monikahortons Pumping is the worst. I did it the entire 3 and a half months my daughter was in the NICU. I hated it and wish I just stopped earlier. All my mom friends said they hated pumping too. It’s awful and disruptive and sometimes demoralizing if your supply (like mine was) isn’t what you hoped.

The best thing to do is to have the NICU start him on formula combined with your breastmilk. Maybe alternating feedings. They can make sure he’s on the right kind of formula, that it’s not having any adverse effects (in terms of allergies), and make sure he’s on the right calorie formulation (often, NICU babies will need fortified formula).

If you want to wean off pumping, my OB told me to decrease by one pump every 3 days. This gives your body enough time to calibrate the amount you produce so you don’t get engorged and uncomfortable. In the meantime, you can give your son your pumped breastmilk via bottle (might as well use it).

Also, my daughter is 6 months old now and always loved the bottle and was skeptical of the breast. So my under supply feels meant to be now.

 

[srcnfk]

@monikahortons Please don’t blame yourself or push yourself past your limits. I had a very complicated, second traumatic birth and a previous loss that compounded my PTSD once my baby was in the NICU at 33 weeks after emergency labor. Pumping makes your cervix contract, and it seriously exasperated my C-section incision healing. I was not producing nearly enough due to stress and the issues mentioned above, not to mention being away from my baby in the NICU, that I had to stop. Not to mention she has a tongue/lip tie that gave me incredible sharp nerve pain as well. She very much needed to gain weight and she never would have done that so well (17oz in 5 days!!) if she were EBF in my case. She loves the formula albeit some gas and looks 100x healthier than when she left the NICU almost 2 weeks ago. I finally met the first pediatrician / health professional ever that said we did the right thing, congratulated us on her progress multiple times, and didn’t make a snark or condescending/passive aggressive comment about going exclusively to formula.

I asked myself: do you want to remember your maternity leave, likely the last one you’ll ever have, to be filled with sobbing silently whine pumping and staring at my fussing daughter? Or do I want it to be spent snuggling my sweet girl skin to skin and resting with her while we bond? The answer was simple, and I had to give up pumping. I’ve dealt with my own grief over it and will continue to, I would have love to EBF, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us.

Be easy on yourself. Take care of YOU, so you can take care of your LO. Formula is fabulous and will give your baby all the nutrients it needs and then some.

 

[monikahortons]

@srcnfk Your message made me cry. Thank you. This is so kind and thoughtful and I’m so sorry for your own struggles. This really puts things in perspective. I was holding baby boy skin to skin while he napped and I had to put him down to go pump. That’s exactly what I DONT want to do. It’s not so bad in the NICU, where I don’t have much else to do but stare at him while he sleeps, but I can’t imagine doing that at home while he’s fussing. Thank you!