@enoshimajunko You have a lot of realistic answers and some that aren't so positive. Your mind set is going to make a big difference if you decide to do this. We went from 0 to 4 in 3 weeks. Adopted twin 2 year olds and I delivered twin mo/fi boys who spent 2 months in the nicu. It all comes down to your partner, support system and attitude. There are resources out there to help. Consider how well you can handle this, when you will take custody of your cousins kids and how well you can access support and resources to help. This is a lot, but if you are determined then you can make it work. Everyone told us we were crazy to finalize our adoption...Im so glad for so many reasons we did. It was a HUGE learning curve but we made it work. Good luck and huge hugs!
@enoshimajunko ummmm can you feasible do it? do you have home help and the financial resources? the 6 and 11yo will still need attention and care and probably wont be able to help with current children
@wunderlust Adding them would stretch us to the max, and I have looked into WIC. I’m not sure how that will go though, last time we didn’t qualify but our family will be double in size basically this time. My family has also said they would help financially, they just can’t/won’t commit to having guardianship over them. Whether they actually do or not is a different matter. We could do it without them it would just be tight.
@enoshimajunko I have 7 kids, my youngest 4 are 3 and under (8 month old twins). If the kids were any younger I'd be leary but 11 and 6 are not bad at all. My older 3bare 5 9 and 11 and I have had my friends 6 year old. The older kids can actually be so helpful in thise first days. If you have the room, . What's 2 more haha.
@enoshimajunko I would avoid foster care for them at all cost. They will get abused. It’s only a matter of time. It’s not every household, but it’s a lot of them.
@jajejllc I think this is severe scaremongering. I work with foster families and for traditional/stranger placements, I have seen significantly fewer abuse situations than with family or family friends. Even then, it's not common, let alone a lot of them.
@enoshimajunko I agree with other posters that your intentions are good but those kids need to go to a foster parent capable of focusing their attention on them. There's no guarantee you'd get approved because of your situation alone.. maybe there are options so you can visit with them and keep that familiar relationship open but I don't think being placed with you would be the best thing for them. I have nephews who were placed with their grandma because their mom did drugs through pregnancy and they were taken by cps.... the grandma couldn't bear to have them go to foster care or let someone else raise them... they are struggling. They both have autism and their grandma is in extreme poor health and can't keep up with them and is boarderline neglectful because she just can't handle them. They would have been 100x better off with some one else raising them. The boys have other siblings who were born also addicted and were thankfully adopted or placed with fosters and they are doing amazing with parents who can actually care for them. I know it's heartbreaking but I don't think it's best for any of the children including yours.
@enoshimajunko I guess it depends on the kids and how much help you have. It's also a different conversation for the first year or so of the triplets and after that.
Is the 11M stable, and would he be a help or a hindrance in the beginning? There's a huge difference between taking in an 11M who is struggling and prone to outbursts etc, and taking in an 11M who is helpful and looks out for his sister and cousins etc.
Do you have people around you, partner, friends, family etc that can and will help with the next year? Will they agree to a rota of support?
Are there any organisations in your area that provide help to new mothers? In the UK there's a thing called Home Start, and an org like that might be able to connect you with a local volunteer who can help in the beginning.
If it was the beginning of 2025 or 2026 and you were past the worst of newborn triplets, I suspect the conversation would be different.
You could also talk to whoever handles fostering etc and explain the situation. Maybe short-term fostering for a year or two is an option? If there was a foster family nearby, and you could still maintain a strong, close relationship with the niblings before taking them in yourself, that might be wise.
If you have help, and the resources to cope, taking those kids in could end up being something you look back on as one of the greatest things you ever did.
. What's 2 more haha.