Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Am I?

[rad]

@tisanewseason We’re doing pretty good! I’m a SAHM so I’m learning how to juggle a newborn and toddler all day on my own so that’s tricky. It’s so weird, we thought my toddler would be our only, but (obviously) we changed our minds and had another. I was so worried that it was a bad idea to have another, or my relationship with my toddler would change drastically, or that I wouldn’t love my second like I love my first. But now that she’s here, it’s so clear that she was a missing piece we were lacking. Things feel complete with her. My relationship with my toddler has changed, but not so much that I feel like I’m missing her. The love for them is pretty intense. It still blows my mind that I have two little girls. I love it

 

[tisanewseason]

@rad These are all the things I think about! I’m glad to hear you had the same concerns but they’ve turned out to be unfounded. May I ask what the age gap is between them?

 

[rad]

@tisanewseason Yeah! They’re about 34 months apart.

 

[tisanewseason]

@rad Thank you and congratulations! Two baby girls sounds lovely

 

[jason12354]

@tisanewseason Mine is almost 2, we still cosleep and contact nap. (And she remains latched during much of the nap). I would light to night wean soon because she has been nursing a lot in the night lately, but other than that we’re going to keep doing what we’re doing. It works for us, we have a great bond, and I’ll be taking her lead on when she wants to wean and sleep separately.

 

[tisanewseason]

@jason12354 Great to hear from someone a little further ahead than us, thank you

 

[cday1210]

@tisanewseason Unless you are relying on these people financially or to help you around the house then their opinions don’t matter. I did contact naps for over a year with our first baby then moved to laying together on my bed. She stopped naps completely at 2 years old so it’s not even a discussion anymore.

 

[tisanewseason]

@cday1210 Nope and nope and you’re absolutely right! You know when you just start to question your sanity.. I appreciate your validation and I’m getting better at shutting the conversation down. I don’t want to get to 2 years old, she stops contact napping, and I realise the entire time I’ve just stressed about it. Thank you

 

[cday1210]

@tisanewseason You are very welcome. I used to say “she only little for a little while” and leave it at that. You are doing what feels right for you and your child, that’s all that matters!

 

[srm332]

@tisanewseason Hey sending love! You’re incredible giving your baby what she needs right now. X

 

[tisanewseason]

@srm332 Thank you so much for your kind words

 

[dwhite081705]

@tisanewseason Hey that’s what I did. With both of my kids. I wanted them to have a good nap. I LOVED toddler contact naps. It’s just peaceful, it’s bonding. You won’t get that time back and I don’t regret it! Even with two kids. Set up the older child with something to do, grab a coffee and a snack, then sit and let the kid sleep.

For the second, he slept so deeply with me I’d often just sling him over my shoulder and help the older one with whatever, and he wouldn’t wake up. Baby wearing, too, of course, is good if a nap happens when the other one is outside.

Actually by 18 months my son would sleep alone, it just came out of the blue, but I feel like it didn’t really free anything up because we had to be quiet and I wasn’t sure when he’d wake up, so I could never start any type of project anyway, so it really wasn’t much of a difference to just holding him.

I do say that I had a 3 year age gap which helped make contact naps more possible. I feel a younger gap and my oldest wouldn’t have had the independence.

I always got enough done when they were awake. But naptimes are ME times really, and it’s so sad when they stop napping.

Keep on doing what you find gives you peace and works the best! If it has to change, it will change.

 

[tisanewseason]

@dwhite081705 I love it too!!! I’m an introvert so I need the downtime, and right how do you get anything done when you’re trying to not wake the baby? I managed to sneak out one time and just sat in the next room watching the monitor like now what I was relieved when she woke up looking for boob a couple of mins later!

Really appreciate hearing about your experience with two too, proof it can be done! Thank you

 

[osh]

@tisanewseason I don’t think you’re crazy. My 14 mo almost exclusively contact naps—it’s rare that I can roll away. And even when I do, I have to be there to resettle him between sleep cycles.

Productivity feels good to me so it is hard to not get things done during nap time, but laying down and scrolling is fine enough for me for now—and if it’s working for you too, you should keep with it.

 

[tisanewseason]

@osh Thank you! Same, mine would wake up with a jump & bawl her eyes out if she noticed I wasn’t there, it’s not worth the stress!

 

[osh]

@tisanewseason Oh I feel that! My husband tried to be my placeholder recently and LO felt his beard in his sleep, woke up, and his wails of betrayal were intense. Poor kid.

 

[tisanewseason]

@osh

 

[hanna123]

@tisanewseason I read this post yesterday and didn’t respond, but was thinking about it again last night as I nursed my baby to sleep and held her while she slept and I rocked her. Holding my sleeping baby is the best part of my day, it’s my absolute favorite place to be, and such a miracle that I get to do it after over a decade of infertility. She is my miracle and I love her with every last bit of me. I’m currently typing this as I hold her sleeping body and I’m in heaven.

You do you mama. If it’s working for you, do it. Do we get less done? Yes. Do I wish I had a cleaner more organized home? Well, sure. But nothing is better than holding my baby. This time will pass far too quickly and it will never be this way again. There will be years to have a cleaner home, brushed hair, etc etc etc. she will never be this little again, she’s already so big at 10 months compared to all the months before. Soak it in, you are a great mom!

 

[tisanewseason]

@hanna123 I really appreciate you taking the time to send a thoughtful response, and to talk about your experience. I can only imagine the feeling I have is intensified 10 fold when you’ve been waiting for it for such a long time; that’s truly beautiful and I’m so happy for you that you’ve finally got your baby girl to snuggle with. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you to give her 100%, why would I do it to myself? Interesting right my new years resolution is to advocate for myself go us!!

 

[hanna123]

@tisanewseason It took someone else saying something similar to me to allow myself permission to just hold her and I was so grateful to hear it and take it in. Not sure where you live, I’m in the US, and it’s never been more clear to me what a capitalist society I am in. I have internalized the idea that my worth is based on what I accomplish and produce. We don’t seem to prioritize parenting, and it’s so crazy because in reality we are “producing” maybe the most important thing: the next generation, and hopefully parenting this way is ensuring our kids are kind, good people. I’m cherishing my motherhood. I’m really tired, and yep my house is a mess, and I get distracted by my phone way too much, but every time I remember to stop and smell her hair and hold her close I’m so grateful. Your post was another time for me to stop and take it in, so thank you.