Eugh...Just Eugh

@lisboneu She was really strict. Incredibly hard working and my parents worked really hard to provide for us... but strict. Her friend told me that when I was younger (around 8 or 9) I was hungry and I interrupted them talking to ask if I could have my lunch now. Apparently my mum exploded and told me I had to wait another hour before I could eat becuase I interrupted the adults. I had to stand in the kitchen for half an hour just crying, while her friend tried to secretly give me food which I wouldn't take.I honestly don't really remember it much and wonder how many incidents I have repressed. As an adult I constantly walk on egg shells around people I love out of fear of upsetting them and I'm forever apologising to my husband over the simplest things. I'm a real people pleaser and I've noticed this behaviour has become noticeably more apparent since we moved back. Although me and my mother do butt heads and argue from time to time, I can't help but feel a lot of these characteristics stem from my childhood.
 
@bunbunowen66 I’m so sorry you experienced that growing up. I unfortunately also grew up with a mom that was very strict, doled out corporal punishment, and played mind games with her kids. I also walk on eggshells around her, and recognized a bunch of problems when I left for college (also a people pleaser, low self-esteem, self-critical). I am still a work in progress and I’m in my mid-thirties now. My mom raised us the best she could as a single, divorced mother with no family near by for support. But she struggled with her own issues and unfortunately her kids bore the brunt of it. I still get angry when I think about the way she treated us, and it’s hard to remember the good times.

Edit: your post’s language reminded me so much of my mom when she was in one of her moods.
 
@bunbunowen66 Same here! The things I learned from my mom are what NOT to do lol. It’s not surprising that people with our backgrounds are drawn to AP. I get legit jealous of my daughter sometimes because I know she will have the mom I always wanted.

I wish you all the best, sending much love to you and your daughter! Stay strong!
 
@bunbunowen66 That’s awful... Here’s a kinder imaginary response from her “Oh dear, that sounds rough, I know parenting can be really exhausting sometimes. Remember it’s okay to take it easy today, you don’t have to get everything done when you’re tired. Would you like a cup of coffee or tea? Maybe I’ll come play with her for a few hours this afternoon if you’d like to get a nap.”
 
@bunbunowen66 gosh, I'm so so sorry. it sounds like your mom didn't get enough boob as a baby herself ;)

I hope she doesn't give foster care to babies because this is absolutely inappropriate. if she does, you should maybe consider letting someone know she may be unfit for the task. it makes me think of people who abuse elders as "caregivers" just to take in the last of these poor old people s' money. "let's just let a helpless creature - a human being - live alone in suffering because it's convenient for me and I get a fat check to boot". awful.

for the sake of your health, do you nurse lying down? maybe I'm wrong but I don't consider nursing a wakeup for my baby and I haven't since I caved and took her into my bed permanently when she was 5 weeks old. she was in a sidecar up to that point but I kept waking up in terror after falling asleep nursing. now she's 20 months and if she wants boob at night, there's a 90% chance she peed and actually wants a dry diaper but her little conked out lizard brain tells her boob = get comfortable when something is uncomfortable. I can change a diaper with my eyes shut by now and we all usually get enough sleep.
 
@mythicangel516 I love the way you describe her lizard brain as boob = get comfy. Mine does the same thing, except he insists on being taken to go pee or else he won’t go back to sleep. We can put diaper and clothes back on in pitch dark, while nursing and by the time we are done getting him in a diaper again, he is asleep :)
 
@bunbunowen66 I’m not shocked you received that comment, but disgusting??? What a strange thing to say. Still bedsharing and nursing through the night with my 28 month old. Baby number two on the way and I am unsure whether we’ll get this one out of the bed before that. Oh well I’m used to frequent wake ups! Really doesn’t affect my daytime energy level or happiness. Keep snuggling your baby!!
 
@katrina2017 Thank you, you too!

Yeah she has some really unique choices of words sometimes. Don't get me wrong, she's not against me breastfeeding, but she's upset that my girl wakes up through the night (not that it wakes up her up).
 
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