Does anybody else enjoy coparenting?

[sedonarose]

I’m wondering if it’s common to enjoy coparenting. I get 50% time off to clean, plan meals/crafts, and sleep in. It felt like I was much busier when parenting in a single household. It was also anxiety-ridden since my STBXW would micromanage my parenting. And I’d go along with it in order to keep the peace. In many cases, it felt like somebody was incorrectly correcting my grammar for a team essay. But I couldn’t win the fight so resigned to doing it her way.

Coparenting is not without issues. My kids (5 and 3) still co-sleep with adults — and my STBXW and in-laws don’t see a problem with it. My 3 year old daughter sleeps with STBXW and my 5 year old son sleeps with my FIL. My STBXW doesn’t think it’s ethical to let the kids learn to self soothe. Any discomfort needs to be immediately resolved. It feels very co-dependent to me. I can’t really control what happens at STBXW’s house. I’ve politely shared research that shows the benefits of independent sleeping.

 

[halterfr33]

@sedonarose I'm an introvert, and emotion regulation is still a huge challenge for me due to my childhood trauma.

I'm a way better parent as a coparent with down time alone.

 

[cafreeman89]

@halterfr33 My daughter is with her father less than 48 hours every weekend. I am absolutely dependent on my child-free Saturdays to cocoon in bed to mentally and socially recuperate. I can usually fit in some cleaning, but I am desperate for some time to not be in charge or manage someone else. I'd love more time, but my ex and I live 90 minutes apart, so it's not possible with our schedules to extend that.

 

[nnhust]

@sedonarose I think the things you bring up are what a lot of parents try to focus on when having to split custody and I think it’s great to use that time you don’t have them to make sure you can be a better parent when you do have them.