Do you let your children under 18 wear revealing swim wear?

[madluvofficial]

I'm not judging anyone on what they want to wear or anything.. I just find it ridiculous that clothing designers would design clothes that leave the kids completely exposed. I went to my friends house and his niece was baking cookies with my friends mom, they were hanging at the pool all day.

This girl is 14 years old wearing a MICRO BIKINI. I think to myself "ok, it's from the adults section". I wait for my friends to come back to his room and ask him what was up with that, he says she picked it out from the girls department.

I left it at that for risk of sounding like an asshole. I'm not a prude or anything, but her bottoms literally just covered her naked parts, they even rode low. It's very uncomfortable having to avert my eyes actively because it's too much.. her top pretty much only covered her nipples.

I'm not a parent nor do I know shit about parenting, but I would not let a 14 year old girl wear something like that.

I remember a few years ago there was a subreddit on the news that got taken down because it was just a bunch of sickos posting pics of young girls in revealing g clothes, that's actually how I found out about reddit.

Idk, with all the pedophiles we have this day and age, I wouldn't let a kid o was responsible for dress like that. And before people comment shes in her ow home, there were 7 adult men also hanging out.

I was very uncomfortable.

 

[psig13]

@madluvofficial You know what helps with the idea that a woman's naked body is to be kept covered is actually to do the opposite. The more it's exposed the more that it's de sexualized in society.

Your response is what's wrong with the idea that woman need to be responsible for the male gaze and thier actions. So you felt uncomfortable averting your eyes. Maybe instead of shaming her you should ensure other guys keep their hands, thoughts, and eyes appropriate.

I understand there are pedos but what do you say about the ones that like little boys? Should boys start wearing shirts on at the pool or when hanging around outside? What you're doing is called victim blaming. Please educate yourself. More woman are sexually assaulted in normal everyday clothes then they are on skimpy clothes. It's not the 14 year old baking with her mom that's the problem it's you and other males like you.

 

[queen_vashti]

@psig13 Exposing 14 year old bodies de-sexualizes them? So are you saying they are an important part of a sociological movement to change standards of perception, because the counterintuitive crusade you are alluding to would seem more appropriate in the adult bracket.

 

[susanitamn]

@psig13 That's only what it's about at all. I was just uncomfortable being around a child dressed that way. I'm in no way offended by a woman's naked body. I'm just not really used to being around kids. And I was not aware they made micro bikinis for kids. Learned something new I guess.

 

[jmorale4]

@susanitamn Old school morals and principles are out the window these days.

 

[irongoat]

@madluvofficial Do not for the love of all ever walk into a USA or Y swim meet. Hell a high school one even. If you saw what competitive swimmers wore you would die. From speedos that only cover the minimum, to suits worn 4 or more sizes too small and see through. No one who has any plans to compete in the meet wear more.

 

[anhtb]

@madluvofficial Do you know for sure that she would wear it if she wasn't at her AUNT's house?

Because here we're in "I'm at home, I wear what I want" territory, and you sound like a creep. It's not technically her home? No, but close enough.

You're I suppose an adult, who apparently came to visit and ogled her body long enough to notice how much her bikini covered. Mind your own business and stop checking minor girls nipples please

You know what makes me uncomfortable?? Having to see and smell men's pits because they think a tank top or basketball T-shirt is acceptable outside attire.

Knowing there are guys out there wearing swim trunks as all day summer attire (sometimes with underwear) and using these same trunks to go swimming at the community pool. That's also uncomfortable for me, and disgusting.

I judge those 2 examples not on their aesthetic but on their hygiene (or not) . Do better. Refrain from judging

 

[chd62]

@anhtb He doesn’t sound like a creep at all. He said he didn’t look after she first came out. He asked was there a limit to how much skin a 14 yo should show. He was invited to the home so I would expect the people in the home to at least try to make the visitors comfortable. Of he’s having to constantly make a show of looking the other way when a 14 yo comes around in clothing smaller than underwear so that people don’t think he’s a pedo, that’s not very comfortable.
Why should she have to wear clothes at all right? It’s her house, she should just walk around naked even though her parents invited a bunch of adults.

Your argument is called a logical fallacy. You never addressed if there should be a limit to how much skin a 14 year old should be showing. Men’s swim trunk wear really is irrelevant to what he’s asking.

 

[katrina2017]

@chd62

He was invited to the home so I would expect the people in the home to at least try to make the visitors comfortable

Comfortable by insisting people stop wearing swimwear and existing in their bodies? It is just not the job of teenage girls to make other people feel comfortable with them existing in their families houses.

Of he’s having to constantly make a show of looking the other way when a 14 yo comes around in clothing smaller than underwear so that people don’t think he’s a pedo

He wouldn't need to make a show of looking away, if he wasn't looking in the first place. When you speak to someone, it is polite to simply look at their face. There's nothing to avoid looking at if you're acting appropriately in the first place.

It's normal to look at peoples outfit, but if you dislike it then simply don't look again. No putting in a show is necessary, just stop

 

[chd62]

@katrina2017 He didn’t insist they stop wearing swimwear, he asked what is the limit to how much skin a 14 yo’s swimwear should show. Do you think there should be? I think there should be for a 14 yo for sexualization issues and also possibly hygiene as it’s not good to have on wet bottoms all day.
I also think there is a limit for adults when there are guests. To me it’s about consent. What if a male host or male guest came to an adult pool party and wore a suit that was basically a thong banana sling. Is that poor taste and possibly even harassing? Should women be forced to be around him in order to stay at the party? What if you switch it around and it’s an adult female wearing a micro bikini? Is it different? If So why? What if you mix the ages so it’s a 14 yo boy? Or you make the guest a 14 yo girl?

 

[katrina2017]

@chd62

He didn’t insist they stop wearing swimwear, he asked what is the limit to how much skin a 14 yo’s swimwear should show

There is no "limit". Her genitals and nipples were covered, I see no problem with the swimwear she was wearing. She is entitled to wear whatever clothing or swimwear she feels comfortable in. We do not exist to make other people feel comfortable. He can simply stop looking.

I think there should be for a 14 yo for sexualization issues

The problem lies with the people sexualising a child, not with what clothing she is or is not wearing. This is just a deeply problematic point of view, making a child responsible for the comfort of others.

To me it’s about consent. What if a male host or male guest came to an adult pool party and wore a suit that was basically a thong banana sling

I think that would be up to him. And what do you mean by consent? Are you suggesting a child cannot wear swimwear she is comfortable in because someone else does not consent to it?! Good grief. No one has to ask permission from someone else to wear a swimsuit. People do not need consent from other people to wear clothes. That is an absolutely absurd suggestion. We don't exist to ensure others feel comfortable.

Is that poor taste and possibly even harassing?

People are allowed to have what you perceive to be "poor taste". No, wearing a swimsuit is not "harassment", unless you want to start redefining words.

Should women be forced to be around him in order to stay at the party?

Huh? People are free to leave parties, you sound ridiculous now. He could have left if he was so deeply uncomfortable with this child's existence.

What if you switch it around and it’s an adult female wearing a micro bikini? Is it different? If So why?

Nope. Why would it be? Swimwear is suitable clothing for hanging at a house near a swimming pool. Other people's taste and comfort is not her responsibility. She's a literal child hanging out at her family's house. You're trying to make a literal child responsible for other people's comfort, that is just extremely inappropriate. People can just NOT look if someone's outfit makes them uncomfortable. They can leave. They can go to a different room. They presumably have functional eyeballs and a functional neck, that they can use to move their head and look elsewhere.

What if you mix the ages so it’s a 14 yo boy? Or you make the guest a 14 yo girl?

Still nope.

 

[nicole198]

@madluvofficial What do you feel is a micro bikini? Because opinions on this differ from person to person as well.

 

[chd62]

@nicole198 He said it barely covered her nipples on top and he but and vagina on bottom.

 

[nicole198]

@chd62 Sounds more like a bikini one or more sizes too small.

 

[trustinggod]

@madluvofficial Sorry that you got inconvenienced by not checking out a child but really when swimming not having a bunch of wet clothing is for some people more comfortable

 

[katrina2017]

@madluvofficial Do you have a 14 year old girl? No? Then perhaps your idea of a 14 year old girl isn’t her own person, with complex thoughts, emotions and an inner life, but simply “someone’s daughter.” If she were someone you knew really well, you’d likely be more understanding that she wants to wear whatever swimsuit she wants, because you’d be able to recognize her own agency. Teenagers seem much younger to people who don’t have teens. And let’s face it- what’s the actual danger of her wearing that? We know “stranger danger” is an overhyped moral panic, so it would be ridiculous to think that someone would kidnap her or hurt her because of what she’s wearing. Be realistic. Her outfit does not actually put her at risk, you just feel uncomfortable. My advice to you would be to cope with that rather than expecting her to accommodate your eyes.

 

[theredraven]

@katrina2017 Loved this.

Do you have a 14 year old girl? No? Then perhaps your idea of a 14 year old girl isn’t her own person, with complex thoughts, emotions and an inner life, but simply “someone’s daughter".

She is a young woman, playing around with clothes and coming to understand her relationship with her body and more revealing clothes as any young woman does. It's not even about boys looking at her, it's experimentation. Don't make it something it isn't.

Source: Was a 14 year old girl once.

 

[melicars]

@katrina2017 He is still allowed to have an opinion for fucks sake otherwise no one is ever allowed to have an opinion they have never personally experienced. Like war. Or rape. Coming straight at him with this shit is horrible, give the dude a break and try educating him rather than attacking him. Be cool dude.

 

[believer94]

@madluvofficial It’s hard to say what the right answer is. More damage might be done if she’s told she can’t wear what she wants bc it’s too revealing. That puts the onus on her to cover, when the problem is societal.

 

[melicars]

@madluvofficial When they are kids people shouldn’t be sexualising them. They should make highly sexualised clothing and adults should get used to kids bodies without the sexual content. It’s a gnarly issue dude and sure to divide opinions.